Red Velvet
by starlenia
Summary: There is a lot That people don't know bout Matthew, its not that they don't care...it's just...they never asked. Story includes RussAme, FrUk, GermanyXItaly and of course! PruCan-just read it! M for rape and more! ;b
1. If you loved me

**Disclaimer: i don't own hetalia. hahaha **

**k, i feel like such a horrible person... so you guys really i am sorry in advance, and i feel your pain... please review!**

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**_Vancouver, Canada_**

_

* * *

_

_The room was dark. But that was okay, really it was—the darkness didn't scare him that much. What he really feared was __**him**__. Hopefully he wouldn't find him here. Honestly… Matt loved his caretaker, but that love was slowly becoming something different for the other man. Something that the child wasn't able to handle. He knew that the man wasn't his real father, and when the said man was drunk-as he was now- it was apparent the other man knew it as well. This would be the first time though that Mathew was actually afraid something bad might happen. _

_His father had come home with that __**awful**__ scent of wine on him. He was drunker than usual this night. _

_On the first night this had happened, he sat down with Matthew and talked to him about his mother, who had left when Matt was too little to remember, she had taken Matthew's brother. When the younger boy asked a question the man never answered, instead he suddenly started kissing him. That was the night the child stopped asking questions. But it still continued. __**Worse**__. But his father would always apologize afterward. But that didn't stop the fact that it had happened… And tonight—_

"_Mattie?" _

_no. no. no. no. __**NO**__! The silent tears slipped down the young boy's face as he tried to choke back the sobs. Tonight things were looking terrible for him. the older man __**WANTED**__ him. It was something that Matt just couldn't wrap his mind around. But he knew that he was scared, and that this… shouldn't be happening. _

_The footsteps grew louder as __**he**__ neared the closet that Mathew was hiding in. the child held his breath, willing him to just pass by. To go to bed, to __**stop looking for me**__… _

_The door opened. _

_NO….NO!_

"_oh! Mattie…Why are you crying? Come here." I don't want to. Matthew shook his head and tried to push himself farther against the wall, wishing that it would just swallow him up. Better it than the large man in front of him. _

"_Oh come on love, daddy will make it better." __**You'll make it worse. NO don't want you here. Please. Please. Just go…**__ but he allowed himself to be picked up by the older man because he knew that resisting would just make things worse. _

…_**If that is even possible**__…_

_He big man carried Matthew into his bedroom and sat him down on the bed. The small boy closed his eyes as the tears were wiped from his face. As if the other man could just wipe away the fact that Matt at even been crying…_

_

* * *

_

"_Aleshia…" mother's name was spoken. It had begun. _

_The man was at the stage where he forgot that Matthew was his son. His eyes were glossed over with the wine induced lust. This was the horrible part where he would start to stroke the child's hair, whispering that he really did love her. That he wanted her to come back to him… "I love you." Lips pressed against Matthews and the instinct to fight kicked in. he tried to pull back-though he had learned that it was a bad idea- his lips were forces apart and he lay on his back, with the hot tears slipping down his face. _

_Go to your happy place…_

_Happy place…_

_Happy…_

_The sweaty hand slid under his shirt and he jerked backwards. __**NO**__! He bit down on the man's tongue and clawed at his back. This was going too far. _

"_stop…" He whimpered. The other man didn't hear and continued to trail kissed down his neck hands slipping into places that…they shouldn't be… Matthew's back arched as he cried out again, biting his lip to stop the sobs that wanted to come up. _

"_I love you." __**If you loved me you'd stop…**__ his shirt was gone and the older man worked on his pants. __**Why? **__Why did life have to be like this? And all of his clothes were gone. For a brief moment Mathew was free. He kicked and screamed as the older man stripped off his clothes. He hated how weak he was! The man was holding him down with one hand and yet he still could not escape! He continued to whisper comforting words, and kissed Matt again. And again. And…and… _

_Mathew's face was hot, his body was hot. It hurt. _

"_stop!" he sobbed. The man continued, seeming not to hear the child crying. The world turned into a blur. And if there was a god, for that moment Matthew hated him…_

… _if his little body was even capable of that emotion. He wanted to curl up in a corner and die. __**Anything would be better th**__—_

"_ahh!" The tears flooded down his face, his fists clinching tightly on the sheets of the bed. The other man's hot stinking breath in his face made him want to throw up. Or maybe it was the sheer reality of what was happening right now. _

_Yes…right now Matthew hated the man who he had called father. He hated the woman who he had been told was his mother for taking his brother and forgetting about him. everyone forgot about him… he was invisible… even to his __**father**__. The older man simply saw him as the shadow of his wife. Like she was still with him. _

_**But she isn't**_

"_daddy! Please!" he sobbed, twisting his body away from the drunk, his cry was cut off by the kissing. It was a horrible thing to have someone else inside of you. And right now, every part of Matthew was taken up by this horrible man. _

_It wasn't long before his body was numb and his mind had shut down. How much time had passed? It seemed like hours. He just lay there crying._

"_daddy…stop…" he sobbed over and over. Until suddenly…_

_The world went still, and the older man's wide eyes met his as he came into realization of what he had done… His mouth agape as he stared down at the crying child he had just…_

_**His son…**_

"_Mattie…" the older man moved away swiftly and Matt instantly curled himself into a ball. _

_His body ached. Life wasn't fair. He closed his eyes and bit his lip to keep the sobs back but his naked body still shook. The pain, anger, embarrassment, and sadness, everything just made the child just want to curl in a hole and die. But he just lay there letting the silent sobs shake him to his core. He felt broken. _

_**Like I can never be fixed…I'm broken… **_

_The older man watched his son's small bruised white body tremble in horror. How many times had the child cried out for him to stop? He felt sick. This wasn't something that he could apologize for._

_**He just raped his son. **_

_The moment of horror for the man was like heaven for the child. He was done with him. it was over. And Matthew found himself slipping into a sleepy spell.

* * *

_

_The child awoke to a putrid stench. He sat up quickly, feeling the pain course though his body. He looked down in horror at the red bruises dotting his white figure, the events of the night rushing back to him. he felt sick._

_As the bile rose in his throat he slid quickly off the bed to run to the bathroom, but as his feet his the floor they sunk into a cool liquid that soaked the floor. He looked down in an attempt to figure out what he had stepped in. _

_Red._

_The red velvet blood of his father dyed the rug a rusty crimson. The boy's wide indigo eyes continued to roam until they found __**him**__. _

"_daddy…" he choked as the bile came out and the threw up. _

_His father had killed himself.  
_

_

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**DUN-DUN-DA-DA! i know. poor Matt! i do love him with all my heart and feel like such a terrible person right now. but this idea just came into my head and... i promise that i will make up for it~! next chapters will be about his teenage life! i really am curious though, how did this make you feel? I'm doing a study in school about human nature and would LOVE to know your reactions!**_


	2. half finished red maple leaf

**Disclaimer:i don't own Hetalia. **

**sorry guys, i know i told you that i would be going onto Mattie's teen years, but this chapter had to be written. haha also i apologize for the wait! i hope you like the story so far!**

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Matthew sat down on the chair at the councilor. He wouldn't talk to the brown haired woman. He hadn't talked once in these months after…after…_That_… his mind still didn't fully register what had happened that night. He knew that it was bad. And bad things…aren't good… his father was dead. Some part of the Canadian was relieved by that fact, but still…

_I am alone._

"Matthew…"

_Completely alone…_

The woman stared down at him with a pleasant smile plastered on her face. She was still waiting for him to tell her what had happened. Even though they all knew that he was a lost cause. Or at least they should. Because he wasn't going to tell them. He didn't want to! Her gray eyes stared expectantly at him, but… The boy just clutched his beloved Kumajirou to his chest, and looked off into space.

"Matthew? You need to tell us what happened to you okay?" she paused before adding; "and your father." Matthew flinched back and looked widely up at her. Father…

She was curious about father.

For some reason the child felt that it was something that he should keep to himself. It was private. No one else needed to know about it.

Father was dead.

_That was it. _

He had been the reason.

_But she doesn't need to know that. _

"Do you want to draw?' She tried, failing at getting the shy boy to open up. She had been trying this for six weeks now. Why wouldn't she give up? The blond reached out for the crayon box with one hand, while hugging his white bear close to him with the other arm. Slowly, one by one, the child pulled out each colour.

He didn't know what he would draw. So he picked up the red and began to draw a maple leaf. His mind trailed back to the red velvet blood on the carpet. The face of his father. _Dead_. The note that had been left on the table. The child dropped the crayon, his mind returning to that time.

* * *

_Matthew stepped backwards and fell onto the bed. His head was pounding as he looked down at his father. No matter how badly he wanted to just look away from that lifeless face he couldn't bring himself to do it. This was his dad. Despite everything what happened he still loved him. The man's death was not what Matthew wanted. No! _

_The child curled himself into a ball on the bed. _

_Yes, the bed was not covered with that disgusting red colour. He could be safe there. But he wouldn't be able to stay there forever. He would have to get up; the decaying body would be too much. _

_Meat rotted fast. _

_Matthew felt the tears slipping down his face as his body shook with the violent sobs. He squeezed his eyes shut, willing all of this to be some big bad dream. But somewhere in his consciousness he knew that it wasn't. This was real. Too real. _

_The Canadian looked up, tears burning in his eyes. _

_Phone. _

_He needed the phone. Needed to call someone, anyone. He needed a hero. But…._

_Heroes weren't going to save him. _

_The phone sat on the bed stand a few feet away, but still too far for Matthew's arms to reach from where he sat. He didn't want to move. He didn't want to touch the floor because it was soaked in blood. All of it. Wherever he moved the mocking colour met him. _

_He finally swallowed his fear and moved closer to the stand, as he reached for the phone his eyes locked onto a piece of paper, his name written on it. Slowly, gingerly, he reached for the paper. His hand drew back as he feared what may be written there. His eyes widened as he saw the marks. Like small bruises. All over him. _

_It struck him that calling anybody to come help him would be bad. _

_They would see… _

_See what had been done do him. That fact embarrassed him. He felt that no one should know of it except for himself. It was an unspoken rule. But still…that paper… he reached towards it again and quickly snatched it up, retreating back to his ball in the middle of the bed. _

_Matthew opened it, and began reading. _

_**Dear Matthew**_

_**I am so sorry. There is nothing that I can say to make up for it. I have gone too far. I promise that I will never hurt you again. Ever. Thus I will end my life to give you what you need. I understand if you never wanted to see me again anyways. There should be some people coming to get you. Let them. You deserve a better life. I truly do love you, I am sorry. **_

_Matthew stopped reading, and just stared at the words. It was so short and hurriedly written. It was the last thing the Canadian had of his father. A suicide note. And that note needed to be disposed of. _

_People were coming, quickly Matthew got off the bed. All of this…it all needed to be gone. Not caring if the blood stained his bare feet the child searched through his father's drawers looking for something that could be used to erase all traces of the note. His eyes locked on the book of matches. Yes, a fire would take it all away. It would cleanse the impurity of it. Make the note look as though it had never existed._

_His clumsy fingers opened the box and he pulled out a match. Bringing the top of it over the striker and watching as it sparked but did not light. He dropped the burnt out match and tried again. Bringing the tip yet again over the striker. Suddenly, the flame spring to life. _

_Matthew's indigo eyes widened as he watched the flame. Hurriedly, he brought the flame towards the paper. Carefully…he set it against the note. The fire leapt onto the paper, and suddenly the note was engulfed in the crimson flames. It was hot! Too hot for the small boy's hands to hold…slowly it tumbled to the floor and everything caught…

* * *

_

It wasn't long after that when the police came; the firemen had brought him out of the burning building. Then he had been brought to the orphanage. And they had made him come here….

"Oh dear…Are you okay?" Matthew snapped out of the trance, and looked at her with wide indigo eyes, surprised by the alarm in her voice. Had he done something wrong? His eyes immediately snapped to the paper to find—

It was still just a half-finished maple leaf….

_Good_.

He nodded his head, and picked up the purple crayon. Purple was a good colour. Like his eyes. Slowly he began to colour the outside of the leaf in with the crayon.

"Matthew?"

He looked up at the woman.

"Sweetie, can you at least talk? How are you feeling today?" she tried. The child opened his mouth in an attempt at response, but he couldn't will his voice to rise up. Biting his lip he pressed the crayon back to the paper and drew a smile in the leaf. "That's good!" she exclaimed with a wide grin. "Now we are getting somewhere! Matthew, do you remember what happened that night?"

He nodded.

"Will you tell me?"

He shook his head.

"Why not?"

_Because._

The woman sighed and wrote something down in her notes before a ringing sounded from her pocket. She asked to be excused while she answered the phone, and for him to just keep on trying. Of course that was fine. Matthew wasn't going to talk anyways, but he couldn't help but overhear the conversation.

"Hello? ...Oh! Good day Mister Bonnefoy! ...orphan...oh you mean Mathew! ...you have? ...that's….That's fantastic! ...yes, I will tell him! ...okay! ...alright…goodbye!" she shut the phone and turned to face the wide eyed child with a real smile on her face. "Matthew you have been adopted, I just got off the phone with the man who will be your new father!"

The child's mind spun. New father…? He didn't want a new father. Did that mean that he was going to be moving somewhere else? What if something bad happened? What if he wasn't safe?

"No…" he whispered. The councilor didn't hear him she was too busy ranting on about how much of a wonderful person he was, and how he had a son a few years older than Matthew, and a wonderful wife. The woman told him that she was going to drive him to the orphanage to get his stuff and to meet Mr. Bonnefoy.

He was scared…but it seemed that there was no other choice….

* * *

Matthew waved goodbye to the children of the orphanage. Most of them didn't even know that he had been a resident there until that day. Matthew had Kumajirou, his suitcase full of his clothes, some books, and an old picture of him as a baby with his mother and father and brother that he just couldn't seem to throw away…

Beside Matthew there sat a French boy just going into his teen years who insisted on talking Matthew's ear off. His name, he had said, was Francis. The family did seem nice, and it was possible that it wouldn't be horrible, they were moving to America soon. Maybe Matthew would be able to just leave all of the horrible memories behind in Canada, and start a new life.

_Yeah…_he thought as his eyelids became heavy. _I'll be able to start all over… _

_

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**yay! new chapter~ really it has been one hell of a week, i've been sick... haha but that is no excuse for not updating in forever... NEXT chapter will be about his teenage life~! reviews make me happy~!**  
_


	3. Friends

DISCLAIMER: I do not own hetalia!

k, so sorry that this took so long to upload, but i had to finish my other fanfiction first! haha but here we are, and i should be uploading every one to two weeks depending upon my workload. thanks for reading!

* * *

It was summer time when they had finally moved to America. Matthew had found his new family to be quite enjoyable. He was even laughing now, and would say a few words to them. Things were definitely getting better in the child's eyes!

And as he boarded the bus to his new American school in New York, he smiled and held his bear close to him.

He was going into 5th grade.

His brother Francis who sat next to him would be going into 7th grade.

"Are you excited Mattie?" Francis grinned widely, receiving an enthusiastic nod from the Canadian. "You know _mon cher_, you are going to have to talk…. If you do not then you will not be able to make many friends." Matthew bit his lip, and looked out the window. He didn't need friends…He had Francis didn't he? And…his English wasn't too good…he supposed he would learn more.

It was 6 years until they had to move away from New York due to Mr. Bonnefoy's new job. It didn't faze Matthew so much; he hadn't made too many friends anyways… It was like he was invisible… Sure, he did his work like a good student and participated in class…But nobody had ever taken the time to become his friend. Maybe a few people here and there, but they were more like acquaintances. His brother Francis had always scolded him, telling him that he needed to talk more and people would notice him.

He would try that this time.

This time…he would make some friends.

_Or I'll try at least. _

Matthew sighed as he stared out the window, listening to the music blasting in his ears. The trees around him were changing colour. It was turning into fall quickly, even though it wasn't so long ago that it was summertime. It seemed that time was just speeding forward. The leaves and chilled air was a sign that October was nearing. Matthew had never liked the change of seasons. It was like…

_Like the trees are all springing into flames… in a desperate attempt to defy the coming winter…_

And all of those leaves were that horrible colour. Red… just like that time…._**no!**_

He shook away the thoughts, changing the song on his iPod to a more upbeat song.

"Mattie~" He glanced beside him at Francis and sighed, removing a side of his headphones.

"Yeah?" The Canadian asked.

"Ahh~ you are so adorable~" His brother smiled warmly at him, and poked at his side. Matthew laughed, being ticklish there, and then pouted. What was with these games? Francis was going on twenty, he was a good brother…his mind a little-well a lot in the gutter, but he was always willing to help Matthew, and be his friend…

"Is that all you wanted me for?" he asked, smiling a little bit.

"No, I wanted to ask you a question, but your beautiful face as cleared my mind of all thoughts." Matthew rolled his eyes and slipped the earphone back into place and continued to listen to his music, letting his eyes close.

"That was a really corny line Francis…I hope you don't use that one on your girlfriends…" he muttered sleepily. The cool air blowing on his face made him suddenly really tired. If France responded to him, he didn't hear it, for he was already asleep.

The Canadian groaned as he boarded the school bus alone. He'd always had Francis with him… this was going to be something new. Hurriedly he shuffled into the only seat that was open near the front. Matthew plopped his backpack down and took out his Mp3 player, preparing himself for the long ride to school.

It occurred to him that maybe he should make some friends while on the bus…But he wasn't good at making friends…

Still his indigo eyes searched the area around him for someone to talk to.

* * *

After a while, and the loss of hope to find a friend before he got to the school, the bus stopped and a messy blond haired teen got on. On his backpack there was a picture of the British flag, and he seemed to be searching for someone. Matthew watched him curiously as he walked closer to him.

_Maybe I should ask him to sit with me._

But…he had been looking for someone…hadn't he?

Matthew moved a little in his seat so that he was more towards the window and looked away, leaving a spot just in case the other teen would want to sit with him.

The blond teenager slid into the seat beside him.

"Morning Alfred," He said with some kind of fondness, his voice honeyed by a British accent.

"Morning—" Wait…his name wasn't Alfred… he looked at the man, and bit his lip, his shyness taking control and he quickly looked away again.

"Are you quite alright, love?" whoa—did he just call him love?

…..Maybe it was a British thing….

There was a long silence between the two of them and the Matthew heard the Englishman muttering under his breath. He couldn't help but wonder if it was an insult.

Man… not even an hour with these new people, and the first person he tried to make friends with was angry with him…and…calling him Alfred….which wasn't his name…

_Alfred_…

For some reason the name rang a bell, like some distant memory…

"Al…?" Matthew flinched as the sandy blond man's hand touched him.

"_I'msorryimnotAlfred_!" he said hurriedly. The Englishman blinked, and then his eyes widened.

"Oh…" He mumbled, turning away a bit. "I-I am terribly sorry…" He then stared at Matthew, waiting for a name. "If you are not Alfred then…"

"My…I…Matthew." He smiled sheepishly. "My name is Matthew, nice to meet you!"

"My name is Arthur, it is a pleasure." The blond smiled warmly and held a hand out for Matthew. The other man took the hand and shook it.

"Yeah," He grinned, look at that, he had made a friend!

"I apologize for thinking you were…" Pink dusted his cheeks as his eyes went downcast.

"It's fine. I'm new, and it's pretty easy to overlook me…so…"

"Not at all!" Arthur exclaimed. "It's just that you and he look…very much alike." He smiled and leaned back in the seat as the bus stopped at another house. He was mumbling to himself and took out a really old looking phone from his backpack. The name Alfred was mentioned again...

Matthew wondered what this other boy was like. They looked alike? He was on this bus right? But the other man's name rang oddly in his head. Well…a lot of people had the name Alfred. He had probably just heard it somewhere…

"The bloody ape isn't coming into school today." The English man muttered as he put away the century old looking phone. He should probably get a new one… Old phones were annoying…But he could do what he wanted…Maybe he liked old phones…

"Who?"

"Alfred…" Arthur smiled. "It's fine really, he does things like this all the time. Maybe there was a test today."

A long silence passed between the two of them. Matthew looked out the window, watching as they rounded a corner and pulled up to a large red brick building. It must be the school.

* * *

Matthew and Arthur entered the school building along with a massive group of students who were being shuffled in by the teachers. There were so many unfamiliar faces… Too many unfamiliar faces… Matthew was so confident that he could do this anymore. Though despite his inner worry he tried to keep a confident air and smile as he headed towards the office with Arthur. Thankfully he had a friend, so he wasn't entirely alone!

As they approached the glass doors of the office here was a hand slamming into Matthews back and a loud voice in his ears.

"Hey man~" Shocked, Matthew turned around to be met with a green eyed boy with a mischievous smile, and fluffy looking brown hair.

"He-hello!" The teen's eyebrows raised slightly those emerald orbs showing confusion. Matthew could feel the blush starting on his face. Oh no… "I mean, hey!" He forced a smile onto his face despite how nervous he was. The other man tilted his head a bit and looked him up and down.

"What's wrong?"

Before Matthew could respond, Arthur was in front of him glaring at the brunette.

"Antonio, Alfred's not—"

"Oh hey there Artie~ commo estas~?" He grinned widely.

"Go away. Please."

Antonio sighed, moved Arthur out of the way. "man, I don't know how you can deal with such a pissy boyfriend," The Canadian blushed, boyfriend? Arthur…? But, he'd only met him just today… He looked nervously at the other man who was blushing as well.

"Awwww~" Antonio grinned even wider. "how cute~"

"Shut up Antonio, I am not his boyfriend. I have no idea how such a thought could even pass through that little brain of yours, now if you would be so kind as to LEAVE—"

"Alright, alright," He put his hands up and began to back away, then he looked back at Matthew. "See you in Spanish." And with that he was walking down the hallway with a little bounce in his step before he looked outside the window and grinned, turning to go outside where he pounced on a boy with reddish brown hair and an odd curl.

Matthew blinked, Spanish class? But he was taking French. French intensive to be correct…Then it donned on him that Antonio must have mistaken him for Alfred as Arthur had at first as well. Could he truly look like him that much? He would probably get mistaken for him a lot throughout the day.

_I want to meet him…_

Maybe they would get along well! Matthew was curious to see what he was like.

The Canadian gently pushed open the glass door of the office and stepped inside of it. He was received with a glare and pursed lips from the woman behind the desk. Her grey and white hair was pulled into a ponytail her brown eyes frightening.

"In here already Alfred? I think that this is a new record, school only just began. What did you do now? And _please_ don't tell me that you're in here because you just felt like visiting. Because we all know that _that's_ a lie." Her eyes shifted to Arthur. "Yes Mr. Kirkland?"

The blond was looking at her with annoyance showing clearly in his eyes.

"Excuse me madam, but this is not Alfred who you are addressing, but the new student, Matthew Bonnefoy. " His tone seemed to imply. _'so you have no right to act so rudely'_ Matthew wondered if Alfred got in trouble a lot, Arthur didn't seem to like this woman very much and by the way she had just greeted Matthew he wasn't too sure if he would like her either.

The woman's eyes widened and a blush began to spread across her face as she looked back at Matthew.

"I-I am terribly sorry Mr. Bonnefoy! It is nice to meet you, I thought that you were…"

"I know…It's okay." Matthew smiled kindly at her.

"Oh dear, you certainly are soft spoken now aren't you?" She smiled. "You are going to have to speak up louder if you wish to be heard." She tapped her ear. "Not as young as I once was."

"I—" Matthew raised his voice a little bit. "I would like to get my schedule please?"

"Oh! Your schedule, one moment please." She smiled pleasantly, and began to search through the papers on her desk. "Here we are." The office woman pulled a piece of paper out of a folder and handed it to Matthew. "I'm sorry again about before dear, I hope you have a nice day."

"you too." The Canadian smiled again and turned, walking out of the office with Arthur close behind him. He was already looking at the list, _okay…First class English…_

"That was quite rude of her, Alfred doesn't get in trouble that much. Though he does get in trouble quite often…" Arthur was muttering. Matthew smiled and looked at him.

"Hey Arthur, do we have any classes together?" The brit looked up at him.

"Probably not, I'm a senior."

"Oh, are you taking French?"

"Yes."

"French intensive?" The Canadian asked, hopefully.

"No…"

"Oh…"

"Well, then I guess that I'll see you later. Oh! Arthur, do you think that you could walk me to the English room?"

"Sure."

* * *

"Okay everyone! Please welcome our new student, Matthew Bonnefoy!" The teacher said cheerfully as she held up two hands like she was a hostess in a show. Her long light brown hair spilt in saves over her shoulder, a single flower barrette in it. She was quit young looking to be a teacher, but this was America. Besides, as Matthew looked out with a shy smile at the class he could see that she was the only cheery one in the room. The rest of the class looked bored and tired. It would probably best if Matthew just sat down…

The classroom door suddenly swung open and a boy marched cheerfully in, flashing a winning smile at the teacher, his ruby eyes seeming to pass right over Matthew. It took a moment for the Canadian to register that this boy was an albino.

"They there Miss. Lizz~" He grinned. "Sorry I'm late."

The teacher sighed and shook her head.

"Gilbert I don't know what I am going to do with you… and don't give me nicknames. Please…"

"Yeah, yeah" He walked over to his desk and sat down, placing his legs up onto of it.

_I should sit too…_ Matthew looked at the teacher who yet again sighed and pointed to the desks.

"Matthew, would you please take that seat next to Gilbert? Class is about to start." She smiled pleasantly. Matthew nodded and began to walk towards the seat she had pointed out without letting his eyes wander to the peculiar albino who would be sitting beside him. The ruby eyes met his for a brief second but there was no acknowledgement in them. Matthew tried to smile at him, greet him maybe, but he couldn't.

With a sigh he sat down at his seat and looked up to the whiteboard.

_Making friends is harder than I thought…

* * *

_

Matthew walked into the cafeteria and was waved over by Antonio who was sitting with the other boy from this morning and Arthur. As Matthew slid into the seat beside Arthur he was immediately questioned by Antonio who seemed to have been filled in on the fact that Matthew was not Alfred. He learned that Alfred would normally be sitting at this table as well if he was in school and that there HAD been a Spanish test today which was why he WASN'T in school.

"Oh, and there is this one other kid. Though he's kind of loud and obnoxious— hey Arthur, where's Gil?" Antonio questioned as he took a big bite out of his tomato.

"God knows…" Arthur mumbled.

"Awwww~ Little Artie all pissy cause his Alfred isn't here today~?" Antonio mocked in a baby voice. He was received with a glare from the Englishman.

"No I am not. I act this way even when that idiot is around, do I not?"

"True that." Antonio laughed. "I don't know how we can put up with such pissy boyfriends~" Matthew blinked at the comment and watched Arthur's face grow red yet again, deceiving his words.

"I am NOT his BOYFRIEND."

"No? Then, he is yours?"

"Shutup you twit."

"I don't think I will~" Matthew looked over to the other boy who sat with them, the one with the odd curl. Lovino? Yes, he was also red faced…Could he be going out with Antonio?

Matthew's thoughts were interrupted by a loud voice.

"Howdy ma boyzzz~" The Canadian's eyes snapped up to the person who had just spoken.

"Hey Gilbo~"

"It's Gilbert Tony." The albino smirked and sat down at the table beside Matthew. His eyes shifted to the blond. "Hey Alf—" he blinked and scanned him over twice. "Oh…" He leaned back in his seat and gave Matthew a grin. "Hey baby what's your sign~?"

_What?_ Matthew blinked at the question, was there some kind of innuendo in there that he wasn't getting?

"Uh…"

"GO. AWAY." Arthur growled as he moved closer to the Canadian in order to block him from Gilbert.

"Hey Artie!" He placed a hand on the Englishman's shoulders and moved him out of the way. "I was talking to this little cutie here."

"He's not interested."

"He can decide that for himself."

"You already have someone."

"Nope." And with that he yet again moved Arthur aside and smiled at Matthew. "So, What's your name? I'm Mr. Awesome, but you can just call me Gilbert."

Matthew blushed and looked down at the table.

"My name is Matthew…"

"Cool! So, Mattie."

Matthew looked up at him. He hadn't ever really gotten a nickname before…Mattie?

"Kay." He smiled sheepishly at Gilbert.

"Man, you certainly are shy now aren't you?" The albino laughed. "That's no fun." Matthew's eyes widened a little bit. Had he made a mistake…?

"I…"

"I wish just kidding man, relax!" He laughed the most peculiar laugh that Matthew had ever heard in his life as his hand came up and touched Matthews shoulder, their skin coming in contact. Matthew flinched away from him. He didn't let people touch him. He hated being touched. Not even his parents or Francis could touch him… And if they did it was never skin contact. That was too much for Matthew to handle. Gilbert blinked and moved away from him, Matthew must have looked horrified…_Oh no…_

"Sorry." Gilbert apologized as he moved his hand down to the table.

"I-" Matthew bit his lip. "I need to go…"

He felt dizzy…not good, the memories of that night were all rushing back to him. The pictures remaining vivid in his mind even though it had been years… "He stood up shakily and began to walk away from the table and out of the lunch room. The spot on his arm where he had been touched burned almost painfully. As if someone had actually taken a hot iron and pressed it to his skin. He knew it was all in his mind, and he couldn't stop the memories from coming back.

_His father grabbed ahold of his arm, forcing him to remain on the bed as he kissed him violently, desperately… Matthew hated it. He trashed and struggled, but he just couldn't get away from those wandering hands. He was crying, he just wanted to die…NO!_

_NO!_

Matthew squeezed his eyes shut and continued to walk the halls until he got to his next classroom where he found his backpack and unzipped the fount pocket. He needed to call Francis to come and get him. He'd tell him that he wasn't feeling well… Mathew pulled his phone out of the front pocket and began to dial the number. Francis would make it all better. He'd cook him some pancakes and make him laugh like he always did when Matthew wasn't feeling well. Of course, Matthew had never told him what had happened when he was little. He's simply stated that his father died and that he didn't want to talk about it…

The phone was ringing as he placed it to his ear, and it wasn't long until it was picked up.

"_Mon cher_?" Francis picked up the phone with a worried tone. "What is wrong Matthew?"

Matthew swallowed.

"Francis, could you came and pick me up? I don't feel very well…"

"_oui_, just give me one moment." It sounded like he was talking to someone else, and there was a rustling sound as he came back on the phone. "I will be there shortly okay?"

Matthew nodded. "M'kay… bye…" He hung up the phone and placed it back in his bag. He hoped that he hadn't worried the others by just rushing off like that. He would have to tell them that he wasn't feeling well; tell Gilbert that it wasn't his fault. He…ate something bad for breakfast…yeah… Tomorrow he would try not to act so strange, but for now…he just wanted to get home and not have to deal with so many people around him…

"Matthew?" He whirled around to look at the albino who was now standing in the doorway. How long had he been there? Matthew swallowed.

"Hey," He squeeked.

"You okay man? Do you need to go to the nurse?"

"I-I'm fine…I mean…I don't feel well…but my brother is coming to get me so…" He bit his lip.

"Okay…Well you might want to go to the nurse's office just in case…"

"I'm fine…" there was a long silence and Matthew just wished that he would leave him alone…

* * *

Gilbert had left the room and Matthew went to the office to wait for Francis to come and get him. When the Frenchman finally came he strut into the building with a confident air and made sure to give a charming smile the office women. Francis was always good at charming people. He'd gotten in trouble quite a few times for it… Blue eyes settled on Matthew and Francis smiled.

"Hey Matthew, are you feeling any better?"

Matthew nodded and looked up at him with wide eyes that said 'please just take me home'. Francis nodded and picked up the pen beside the sign out sheet.

"Matthew!" Arthur stepped into the office and handed Matthew some papers. "You forgot to get your homework so the teacher gave it to me, lord knows why, but I do hope that you feel better by tomorrow." Matthew smiled and thanked him. Francis turned around, his eyes raking over Arthur.

"Hello there" He grinned. "Are you a friend of Matthew's?" Matthew blushed, was Francis seriously trying to pick up his friend…?

"Yes, and you would be?" there was something in Arthur's eyes, a sort of dislike for the Frenchman. It would be Matthews first time seeing someone not go gaga over his brother.

"I am Matthew's brother. Francis Bonnefoy. _Enchante_." He reached out and placed a kiss on Arthur's hand. The Englishman quickly pulled his hand away as if he had been burnt and glared at Francis.

"It's a pleasure." He said bitterly before turning back to Matthew. "I'll see you tomorrow." And with that he stiffly walked out of the office and down the hall. Matthew looked over at Francis who looked confused.

"Francis?" He murmured. "Can we go home now?" the Frenchman blinked.

"_Oui"

* * *

_Alright~! leave lots of reviews for in the next chapter i bring in Alfred and other characters~ and things get fun!


	4. Heroes dont exist

DISCLAIMER: i do not own hetalia.

as i said 1 to 2 weeks. sorry! this chapter is only leading up till the next chapter, and then we really get going~ yay~

* * *

Matthew sat down on the red velvet seat covering that Francis had insisted on having in his car because it was romantic. But Matthew didn't like the red velvet at all. Any other colour would have been fine, but red was just too…bloody. Francis slid into the driver's seat and smiled at his little brother, his blue eyes showing hints of concern.

"What is the matter Matthew? I know that you are not sick." He started up the car but didn't begin driving, he was just looking expectantly at the Canadian.

"I…"Matthew looked out the window at the school. "I just wanted to go home…"

"Was someone bullying you?"

"No…" He murmured.

"Then were you overwhelmed? Awww~ Little Matthew was nervous because his beautiful big brother wasn't there with him~?" Francis cooed making Matthew smile a little bit. Maybe that was it, he was just over sensitive because it was his first time going to a new school with a bunch of new people alone. Tomorrow would probably be better. He laughed.

"No, that can't be it~" Matthew teased as the vehicle began to move onto the street.

"Well no matter what I would have come to get you."

"Thank you Francis for doing that. I really appreciate it. Were you with someone? You sounded busy." Francis shot him an amused look, and Matthew saw the hikys that lines his collar bone, the slight messiness to his usually perfect wavy blond hair, the hint of colour on his lips. His eyes widened and his face began to grow hot. So Francis had been doing _that_…

"Yes," Francis shrugged with a smirk. "But I told her I had to go….and him too." The Frenchman looked ready to lick his lips. "But enough about that, you made a friend? He is quite attractive, non?"

"Francis!"

"I apologize Matthew, I would just like to know about your friends~"

"Because you're thinking about sleeping with him?" Francis looked hurt.

"No…but now that you mention it~"

"You're disgusting."

"Ah, your words, how they hurt mon frère!"

Matthew laughed. Francis certainly liked to over-dramatize things… He thought about Arthur being overtaken by his big brother. The Englishman hadn't seemed very interested at all…

"He won't be interested…" Francis' smile grew larger his eyes shining with amusement.

"And why not?"

"Because…" But 'because' was never a just answer for the Frenchman. Well Antonio had said that Arthur was going out with that Alfred kid… "Because he is already dating someone else." Francis' smile faltered.

"Ahhhh, that is fine. He will fall for me eventually."

"Francis…." He needed to understand that he couldn't have everyone he wanted…Matthew would have to warn Arthur about his big brother.

"What is her name?"

"Alfred." And the smile was back.

"So he is gay~ well, that makes things even easier~" Matthew sighed. Francis was an idiot.

* * *

Matthew boarded the bus the next morning feeling a bit more confident. Today would be better than yesterday, he was just really nervous yesterday. Yeah….Because it was his first day. The second day was always better. And the bus wasn't scary because Arthur was on it with him. He would have to tell him today about his brother Francis. Because…yesterday he'd told Matthew that he would be driving him home from school from now on…

Matthew looked for an open seat somewhere near the front, but his eyes caught something. Or rather someone….The boy who sat in the middle row laughing loudly, his blond hair smooth aside from one little curl that stuck up giving him more charm than looking awkward. He looked…almost exactly like Matthew…

"Hey Kid, can you find a seat and sit?" The bus driver said giving Matthew an annoyed look.

"Ah- sorry…" Matthew swallowed and began to move towards the person that MUST be Alfred. He wondered if he would allow him to sit with him… suddenly he was met with blue eyes. The other boy's eyes widened slightly before a smile passed over his face.

"Hey! Come sit with me!" Relief flooded Matthew, good…but…how was he supposed to act around this boy…? He sat down in the seat stiffly, he was really nervous again…not good… he needed to act normal… "So Mattie right? I heard about you from Arthur! Man, he was right. You DO look like me! Ya know, we could be twins!" Matthew blinked.

"Yeah…" He bit his lip and was met with a pout on the other teens face.

"You're way too quiet, man! Are you nervous or something?" Matthew blushed. He knew that he was too quiet… "Awwwww~ you are! That's adorable!" He paused. "Oh! I didn't really introduce myself, I'm Alfred, The hero!"

_Hero…_

Matthew began to feel cold, suddenly he didn't like Alfred so much.

"Heroes don't exist." He stated, glancing coolly at the American. Alfred's blue eyes widened then narrowed.

"I AM a hero!" Matthew shook his head.

"No. heroes don't exist."

"Yes. They do."

"No…There are no heroes Alfred…" Matthew remembered when he had given up on heroes. On that night what he had cried for help when he'd wished desperately for a hero and hadn't gotten one.

"Are SO!"

"No, there are heroes in comic books and movies but not in real life. In reality, heroes don't exist." The American looked like he was getting more and more flustered. Matthew didn't understand how he could think that he was a hero. What made him think that he was a hero?

"They DO though Mattie!"

"Do they? Well then, if you're a hero, where is your cape?" For a moment he was met with silence and a blank stare from the other teen. Why was he being so cold to the American? Surely he was blowing all chances he had of being friends with him…

"What?" Matthew rolled his eyes.

"Your cape. All heroes have one. If you don't have one, then you aren't a hero."

"capes are for losers!"

"So you don't like Batman? Superman? They had capes."

"NO! I do! But…I'm a hero…"

"Prove it."

"I will!"

"Boys…." Both of their heads shot up and they saw Arthur standing above them with a glare. He sighed. "Really, you two just met and you are already fighting like brothers. Are you sure that you weren't separated at birth." Alfred was looking at him with big blue eyes.

"Artie… Mattie doesn't believe that heroes exist…he doesn't think that I'm a hero!" The Englishman shook his head and sat down in the seat across from them.

"So I heard…" He looked at Alfred with narrowed green eyes. "Don't call me Artie."

"But…Why nottttt? It's cute!"

"Oh!" Matthew looked at the two of them. "Are you two dating?"

"CHYESSS~" Alfred grinned and gave Matthew a thumbs up.

"No." Arthur growled. Alfred looked at him with wide eyes as he built up tears.

"Eh….? Why not…?"

"There is no way that I would ever date someone like THIS." He pointed to the puppy dog faced Alfred with a frown. Matthew smiled. It was clear that he did have feelings for the American even though he acted this way. Still Matthew worried what Francis would do.

"Well, if you're not dating my brother is probably going to try—"

Arthur blinked.

"You mean that flamboyant Frenchman?" Matthew nodded. Yes…the word flamboyant would definitely be a good word to describe his brother. "Well then—"

"He's mine." Alfred interrupted with a growl.

"Well," Matthew smiled. "I'd figure that out if I were you."

"Miff!"

* * *

They pulled into the school and got off the bus, and were shuffled into the building like they were yesterday. Matthew was yet again nervous. There were so many people… He swallowed.

"Hey Mattie, what'd the matter? You look sick." Alfred put his hand on Matthews's forehead, causing the blond to jump back with wide eyes.

"N-no, I'm fine…." He smiled half heartedly at the American.

"Okay…?" Alfred was looking at him strangely. Matthew didn't like it. It was as if he was trying to see past him and into his heart, into his memories.

"Alfred~" The voice could only belong to Antonio. Said brunette proceeded to charge Alfred until he crashed into him with a wide grin. "Guess what? Guess what? Guess what?" Alfred laughed and asked him what it was he was so excited about. "You weren't here yesterday so I couldn't tell you right away, but Lovino! He said yes man! Yes!" Blue eyes widened, twinkling in a way as a smile came over his face.

"Congrats Tony!"

"I know!"

So….Antonio was excited because Lovino had said yes….? Yes to what?

"What," Arthur stepped in. "You are now dating Lovino?" That was it!

"Yeah!" The Canadian didn't think that it would have been possible for Antonio's smile to get any wider, and yet it did. It was contagious and soon they were all smiling with him, happy for the brunette. It was hard not to be, he just seemed so overjoyed.

"Hey guys! Why are you all so happy~?"

"Lovino said yes to dating Antonio." Matthew smiled at the albino who had appeared to the right of him.

"Really? That's awesome! Congrats!"

"Thanks!"

"oh yeah, Mattie." Gilbert looked at him.

"Hmmmm?"

"How're you feeling?"

"Huh?" Why was he asking—oh…because Matthew had gone home early yesterday…claiming that he didn't feel well…

"So you _are_ sick!" Alfred walked over to the two of them and was looking at Matthew through narrowed eyes.

"ummm….Hey Gilbert, Shouldn't we be heading off to English now? Class if about to start."

Gilbert looked up to the clock.

"We've got two minutes, and I don't care if I'm—"

"please?" Matthew pouted. A light dusting of pink stood out on the albino's pale face.

"Y-yeah….I guess we can go…" Then he growled "no wait you—"

"Alright! See you later Alfred!"

"Nope," Alfred grinned. "I'm in your class as well." The American stepped forward and grinned, looping one arm through Matthew's and beginning to walk down the hall with a call of "see you later!" to Arthur. The three of them began to walk down the hallway, Alfred talking Matthews ear off.

"We look like twins!"

"Are you guys twins?" Gilbert asked,

"Nope, today would be the first day that I have ever met him!"

"That's awesome!"

"I know!" Alfred smiled. "But can you believe this? He doesn't think that I'm a hero!" Gilbert shook his head.

"What heroic deed have you ever done Al?" Alfred bit his lip.

"Well… I…."

"Exactly" The American pouted and crossed his arms.

"I'll show you all someday…"

Matthew wanted to pull himself away from both of them. He felt like an alien in their little world of awesomeness and heroes. They didn't have any idea what life was really like…they were far too carefree for that. Matthew wondered what he would be like if he was a normal teenager…would he be this outgoing and fun as well? Would he be like Alfred? Carefree and always happy? He would never find out.

The three of them walked into the English room, all throwing smiles at the teacher. Apparently she let her students call her by her first name, which was Elizabetha. She shook her head as they all went to take their seats and class started.

At lunch they were joined by one more person at the table, a brunette with slicked back hair and glasses. A friend of Gilbert's. There was something about them though that seemed…odd. Their friendship was warm and witty though the wit mainly came from the teenager named Roderick. It was interesting to see the two of them together.

"So~ Who saw the new episode of vampire last night?" Alfred asked with a grin. He was met with blank stares and a look from Arthur that said 'FML'…

"You _would_ watch that Alfred." The Englishman sighed.

"It's so good! One of the most popular shows on T.V right now you know!"

"And were you scared?" Gilbert grinned. Matthew didn't think that it would be possible to get scared by a show like that…but the blush that spread over Alfred's face gave the fact that he _had_ been scared away. Matthew smiled a little bit and thought of when he had found Francis watching it almost in tears sniffling and saying. 'He loves her…' *sniffle* 'and he told her and then….then…he made her forget!' He'd been so upset and insisted that Matthew rewatch the episode with him since he hadn't seen it…

The fact that the show had been on last night meant that it was Friday already. He'd transferred late in the week…

"No!" Alfred protested making even more obvious that he had been scared.

"Your face is as scarlet as a rose mon amie, you are lying~ but it is good non?" Matthew whirled around.

"Francis?" He blinked as he looked up at his big brother. What was he doing in the school? The Frenchman's eyes were running up and down Arthur and he smiled as the British teen glared at him.

"Oui, that would be me."

"Why—"

"Why am I here?"

"Please don't say that it is just to visit…." Matthew felt slightly embarrassed that this type of thing would be completely in character for the Frenchman. By the look that then passed over his face Matthew could tell that it wasn't the reason that he was here for. In fact he looked tired, not in the way that he hadn't gotten enough sleep, but just…weary…

"Non mon frère…Though I wish that was the case…"

Matthew felt a cold feeling welling up in his stomach. Francis was never sad, never weary like this… he just seemed so….out of character. The only thing that Matthew could think of was that something had gone terribly wrong…

"What….What's wrong?" Matthew swallowed and looked up at his older brother. The Frenchman hesitated.

"Father…"

A chill went down Matthew's spine as he heard the word.

"What…about father?"

"Matthew I think you should come with me…I apologize for the intrusion." He murmured with a somewhat forced smile as he watched Matthew get up from the table. The Canadian was hesitant and numb feeling. Something had gone wrong with their father… father…

"Bye bye Mattie…" Alfred murmured, but Matthew didn't even hear him.

He followed Francis out of the school to the car and waited for it to start.

"Francis…" He muttered.

"Matthew…" The Frenchman had tears in his eyes, he sucked in a deep breath and turned watery blue eyes towards his younger brother.

"What…"

"Father….was in an accident...a serious accident…"

Silence.

"Is he going to be..."

"No."

Matthew couldn't breathe. What did he mean no? That their father wasn't going to be alright…ever? Did that mean that he was…dead…?

"Eh….?"

"He…he's dead Matthew…A **car **accident." Matthew's nose prickled as his eyes filled with tears. He's liked this father. He was so nice… part of him didn't want to believe it. It was impossible. He couldn't be dead… Now he was crying with Francis, just sitting there in the school parking lot. He's already lost one father, and now another was gone… but this one…no…

"No…." Matthew whimpered. Francis hugged him, his own shoulders shaking even though he was telling him that it would be alright. That everyone had to die eventually… the problem was that Matthew wasn't even thinking about his adoptive father anymore. He was thinking about his real father. The memories coming back at him, the red velvet blood spilled over the carpet. The scent of death. That horrible odor…

Matthew pulled away from Francis and curled in on himself, his whole body shaking uncontrollably.

"Let's go home Francis… I want to go home…" Francis swallowed and wiped at his eyes, only nodding in response.

The drive home was long and quiet, as they reached the house Matthew wondered what their mother was doing. From the looks of it she wasn't home…

"Mom's not home…" Matthew pointed out.

"Yeah…she's at the hospital with our uncle. He was in the car too…he'll be alright though…mostly…I'm…going out to drink. Lock the house up and…watch a happy movie or something…" Matthew nodded and stepped out of his brother's car.

So much for it being a better day….

"Francis—" he turned around, but the Frenchman had already driven off, leaving him alone.

He would watch a movie…yeah…a nice happy movie and wait for Francis to come back…

* * *

Alright~ eagerly await the next chapter~ I hope that you liked this one. so review~ the more reviews the more i am inspired to write. and the more i write, the sooner i upload~ so-review! 3


	5. Francis

DISCLAIMER: i do not own hetalia~

Love this chapter, but the next is better~ haha i hope that you do as well!

* * *

The lunch table was silent for a bit as they all took in what had happened. Mattie had been taken away by his older brother who looked upset about something…Would Mattie become upset as well? Alfred didn't want that to happen, he'd only just met the kid today and…He felt an attachment to him. And besides, he was a hero! And heroes didn't allow others to feel upset!

"Bloody Frenchman."

Alfred turned to Arthur with narrowed eyes.

"Man….i've never seen you hate someone that quickly…" The Englishman looked angry. A different angry than his normal 'just born that way' angry…but…pissed.

"It's just something about him that pisses me off."

"I think that would be called sexual tension~" Antonio grinned widely and was received with a glare from Alfred. Arthur was his…

"Shutup." Arthur growled. "There is no way I feel that towards that man whore."

"Ouch~" Tony laughed. "Looks like you've got some competition Al~"

"Oh shut up."

Alfred sighed and looked over to Gilbert who hadn't yet spoken, which wasn't like him…but he soon found that both he and Roderick were both gone. Stupid couples…everyone but him was sure of their relationship. Arthur was just a bum.

"So what do you think—"

The lunch bell rang meaning that they had to go to class…ugh…class was so _boooorrrrinnnng_! But at least Alfred had history next! Which was something to look forward to~ he did well in that class…it was the… only one he did well in…but he still did well!

They all got up, dumped their trays and left for class. The only unfortunate thing was that Alfred didn't have history with any of his friends… Well Ivan, but Ivan wasn't really a friend, he was a commie. besides…whenever he got near him that scary chick with the blonde hair would try to kill him…she was his sister, but man…Alfred didn't think she knew that. Unless asking your brother to marry you was the common way of greeting in Russia…to…your brother…yeah…no, she was just scary. But Ivan's other sister…well… she had some huge—He should probably just stop right there. Who knows if the Commie bastard could hear his thoughts from wherever he may be…

* * *

Alfred walked into the history room and sat down in his seat. As students filed in the teacher skipped in. yeah, that's right, the red headed bubbly teacher _skipped_ into the room. He was probably the only one Alfred had ever known who was ALWAYS happy…he even asked his students to call him Fili…

"So class~ hiya!" He grinned stupidly as he waved at the bored looking students. "Today we will begin our new topic! Ve~World War 2 and The Holocaust!" It was as if he were saying "birthday party!" or something…Alfred tried to hold back a chuckle as the teacher wrote on the board in curly letters. "Does anyone know anything about it?"

No one raised their hands, even though everyone knew at least a little about it. The class pretty much proceeded like this…Fili would ask questions and write on the board, no one would pay attention, he'd continue to write on the board. Talk about some Nazis, Hitler… yeah…draw a picture or two…Alfred found himself dozing off a couple of times until Fili came up to him and started to talk.

"Alfred? You awake? Hey- I heard about Matthew, do you think you could give him his homework for me? And here is the reading and class notes. There is one for you too." He smiled warmly at the American and then turned to walk away.

"Wait—" Alfred noticed that he was alone in the classroom…sh*t… he pulled up his backpack and shoved the papers into it.

"Hmmm?"

"I don't live with Mattie…"

"Oh? Then bring it to his house for me? Oh! And Ludwig should be giving you some papers too!"

"But he teaches Gym!" He didn't even know where Matthew lived…

"Forms~"

"Oh…"

"Better hurry or you'll be late for class~"

F*ck….Alfred stood up and slung his backpack over his shoulder, rushing out of the room. Really, the Italian teacher had to be the most annoying person in the world…and that was something, coming from Alfred. But still, he couldn't hate him. He would have to figure out where Mattie lived…the office would have that information.

* * *

Matthew walked into the house feeling somewhat empty inside… He didn't really know what he should be feeling right now. He guessed empty would be right. But back then…back when his real father had died…he didn't feel this way…

No.

He needed to stop thinking about the past. It only made things worse… Matthew walked over to the TV and turned it on, searching for the remote so that he could find a movie to watch. Something happy…a Disney movie would be nice…he liked those…they were always so happy…

Matthew picked up the remote and clicked the ondemand button.

* * *

The movie didn't help…usually they made him feel all happy inside, but…he didn't really feel much of anything. He had even fallen asleep on the couch. It was dark out already…

Matthew sighed and got up, walking into the kitchen. Pancakes….He was reaching for the cabinet when he heard the door open.

"Francis?" He asked, glancing over at the clock. 6:30. Francis had been gone for a while…There was no response and Matthew didn't think too much about it. Francis was probably going up to bed. The Canadian pulled out a box of pancake mix. Wasn't in the mood for making the pancakes from scratch…it would take too—

Arms came up around him as the pancake mix fell out of his hand and fell to the floor, spilling the white mix everywhere… Matthew was frozen as he was held in his brother's embrace.

"F-Franc—" The scent of wine filled his nose, making Matthew feel sick to his stomach. He couldn't move and he wanted to scream. He hated that scent. Hated drunks…Francis couldn't…no… Francis was just being Francis. He wouldn't do anything to Matthew. He loved him. Yeah… Matthew would be perfectly fine. Francis was just hugging him…

"Matthew…Are you okay?" Francis asked.

"Yeah…" He must be referring to being okay about their father's death. He was sad…but he would be alright…

"That's good. It's okay Matthew… I will always love you alright?"

Matthew nodded. Francis was a good brother. Always there for him... Matthew smiled; he couldn't believe that he had though he would do something horrible. He was just trying to comfort him. And he was drunk so he was hanging on him.

"Alright, do you want something to eat?"

Francis nodded as he rested his head on Matthew's shoulder.

"M'kay….what do you want?"

"_Matthew_…" Francis murmured, brushing his lips against Matthew's ear. A shiver went down the Canadian's spine. He was drunk…

"Francis…" He stumbled on the words. "I-um…er…are you…maybe y-you should go—ah!" Francis's hand went up the front of Matthew's shirt causing the younger teen to flinch and begin to struggle away from the Frenchman's grip. He needed to get away from him. Needed to stop this from happening again. He loved Francis. He didn't want to be afraid of him. He wanted to continue being his brother. Normal. Normal. No….

NO!

Francis pressed his lips against Matthew's neck, gliding his tongue across the side of his neck. Matthew clenched his fists and tried to turn around, tried to fight him. But his hands were caught and he couldn't do anything as he was pressed against the counter, his hand being released to allow Francis to glide his fingers across Matthew's stomach.

"Stop it!" He yelled, trying to fight back the numb feeling. "You need to go to bed Francis! You're just drunk! St—" The hand went down the front of his jeans, fingers wrapping around sensitive parts…Matthew cried out, his back arching. "Fran-S-Stop!" Matthew struggled to get out of his grip, to get away from him…

"Why do you want me to stop? It feels good no?" Francis whispered into his ear. Matthew squeezed his eyes shut, sobs beginning to shake his body.

"Stop it…stop it…"

"Come on Matthew." Francis murmured, allowing Matthew to turn around and face him as he pressed their bodies closer together.

"No. No…" Matthew looked away, his eyes moving to the ground as tears spilt from them. "Daddy…"

Francis smiled sadly, moving his hand up to Matthew's hair and stroking it gently.

"I know…I am sad about father as well…come…let us comfort eachother." He pressed his lips gently against Matthew's, his lips moving slowly against the other man's. Matthew felt the numbness take over. His hands fell to his sides and he just stood there. He had become unresponsive to everything the Frenchman did. Even when he deepened the kiss. Even when he again let his fingers wander. Even when he softly bit at the Canadian's skin…Even as he lead Matthew away from the counter.

Even as they entered Francis' bedroom…

* * *

Alfred was sitting in his room on the computer and texting his boyfriend. Well… Arthur was just too uptight to see that he was really Alfred's boyfriend. He was the only one who denied it after all…

Alfred got off of the computer and turned on his T.V clicking it to the station it would need to be on so that he could play his XBOX360. He was super excited because he had a new game to play. Literally it was brand new! It was a new one sent from Japan. Not even in the U.S yet, but since Kiku's dad worked for some big corporation he got the games for Kiku to test before they released them~ and since him and Al were buddies~ he got to play all of them! Alfred slipped on his head set and walked over to his bed.

He opened his bag and pulled out the game. CHYESS~

"Alfred!" His mother called from down stairs. Alfred groaned.

"Yeah?" he called back.

"I'm going to the store! Do your homework!"

"YeahYeah—" Sh*t… He went back over to his bag and emptied the contents of it onto his bed. There they were…the papers that he was supposed to bring to Matthew…why did all of the teachers assume that he was Alfred's brother…? The office had given him Matthews address…So…He knew how to get to his house…but…couldn't Matthew just get the work later…? Like…tomorrow…? But…dammit! Then Alfred would get in trouble for not giving him the papers when they had given them to him to give to him. Ugh! Why did life have to be so sucky…he wanted to play his game…

He sighed.

Damn Sarel…

"Hey mom! Can I borrow the GPS?" Alfred pulled the papers up from the pile and began to walk out of the room.

"Sure you'll have to come out to the van and get it, are you going somewhere?" His mom asked as he rushed down the stairs. He wanted to just get to Mattie's house give him his papers and get home as quickly as possible so that he could play his game. Stupid teachers…

"Yeah," He muttered as he pulled his jacket on. It was nearing winter, and it was staring to get cold out so yeah… he needed to wear his jacket.

"Where? I don't want you out until late. Is your homework done?" She started at him with a doubtful expression on her face, her long blond hair falling around her shoulders in waves, her blue eyes narrowed. Alfred held up the papers.

"I'm going to drop off some papers to Mattie."

"Who's Mattie?"

"A new kid in school." She stared at him a little longer before she sighed.

"Alright. But hurry home and do your homework. I don't want any more calls from your teachers saying that you aren't turning in any of your homework…" He groaned. The only reason his teachers were calling her about his homework was because she asked him to….that was her problem…not his…

"Alright mom…" Alfred grabbed his keys off of the key holder and followed his mother outside to her car, locking the door behind her. After he got the GPS from her she hugged him and told him to be good and that she would see him when she got home. She was still pulling out of the driveway as he got into his car. He started his car and put Mattie's address into the GPS.

Alright, he was off~

* * *

Matthew didn't really realize what was happening until he hit the bed.

"Matthew…" Francis climbed on top of him, kissing him again. Matthew's eyes widened.

"S-" he kicked and punched at the Frenchman. This shouldn't be happening…not again… Francis slid his hands under his shirt again, trying to take it off of the struggling Canadian.

"It's okay…" Francis whispered.

"Francis!"

"It's okay…."

"St—" his shirt came off. Francis was too good at getting clothes off. Matthew thrashed as his pants came next. His mind was whirling back to his childhood. Back to what his father had done… What Francis was now doing to him... "Stop!" He screamed as Francis began to suck on his neck, moving around but still bringing up little red spots.

"Everything is fine." Francis smiled at him and continued to move down to his chest. Matthew couldn't believe that everything was fine! He couldn't even move! And once again he despised the fact that heroes didn't exist. That no one would save him this time either... He needed to do SOMETHING though.

"Francis stop! You're just drunk. Okay? It's me! Matthew! Francis!"

Piercing blue eyes met his as the other man pressed his lips against Matthew's chest.

"I know."

The ice came back into Matthew's body. Why...? why? WHY?

_Why me..._

But it didnt matter. It would be over with soon enough-

no! He struggled against Francis.

"STOP IT"

* * *

Alfred pulled up to the house. the GPS saying-

"You have reached your destination dude~" In the hippy voice that Alfred had set it to because it was funny! He looked out his car window at the house. well~pah time to do this...He unbuckled his seat belt and got out of the car.

* * *

So what will happen next~ haha sorry this chapter is so short...i'll post the other one sooner. i just...for some reason felt the need to post this chapter like this. that aaaannnddd i should be going to bed because it's late and i still have dishes to do and yeah...so~ review and i will love you forever~ I read them all the time and they make me super happy! so thankyou so much to those of you how have reviewed! *hugs* love you! i hope you liked this chapter, what do you think SHOULD happen next,and review and~ goodnight! haha


	6. oh fck

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Hetalia

Yeah~! Quick chapter! Did everyone know that Prussia's birthday was yesterday? Haha I pulled out my Canada cosplay and made him a cake. If you want to check it out it's on ly cosplay groups page- .com

Yeah~ I think that you're gonna like this a lot. I COULD make Matthew just wake up and have it all be a dream…but, sorry! This needs to happen! ^_^' Enjoy!

* * *

Matthew let out another whimper as Francis kissed him. He was on the verge of just giving up, though his body was still thrashing in order to get the Frenchman off of him. Couldn't Francis see that he was making Matthew cry? Didn't he say that he loved him… he couldn't believe that he was in this situation again, and he couldn't do anything. Again…was history just bound to repeat itself?

"Fr-Francis…" He cried.

"Hmmm?"

"Stop." He tried to move his arms, but they were in the firm grasp of the other man. In response Francis just shook his head.

"I can't…" He kissed him again. "Matthew…" Something wet hit Matthew's face…why was he crying? Why couldn't he stop?

"Stop! Get off! Stop! Ahh!" Matthew's back arched as Francis bit at his neck again. "Ahh….St… Francis!" He kept moving down and down and…. "St—Ah!"

* * *

Alfred walked up to the front door and knocked. After about five minutes he rang the doorbell and knocked. This was annoying..he knew someone was home…there was a car in the driveway and, his hand went to the knob.

And the door was unlocked…

Okay then, why not just go in and drop the papers off. It wasn't like he was stealing something. Just the opposite actually. Alfred opened the door and stepped inside of the house.

"Hey, it might not be a good idea to leave your door unlocked, ya know. You may just get some creeper barging into your hous—"

"Ah!" Alfred froze next to the couch, looking over towards the bedroom door. It sounded like…oh….oh god…what had he walked in on…? Apparently it was something private…He should just..turn around and go…

"STOP IT FRANCIS! Pleas-Ah!" The scream that came from the other room was Mattie's. Alfred was sure of it. Something bad was happening to him! Alfred needed to stop it! He needed to do something….needed to save him…

Alfred ran at the bedroom door, pulling it open.

"Mattie!"

Francis had Matthew on the bed, neither of them had any clothes on and…oh f*ck…Alfred's face heated as he saw the tears streaming down Matthew's face. Rape? Francis was glaring at him while Matthew lay there whimpering. Alfred felt anger roar inside of him. Matthew needed a hero right now, and Alfred IS a hero.

"Excuse me, we are in the middle of someth—"

Alfred growled, running forward and throwing Francis off of Matthew, watching as he slammed into the wall.

"Don't you dare touch him." Alfred snarled icily. "Can't you see that he is f*cking CRYING?" Alfred looked over to Matthew who just looked stunned, very…very… out of it, the tears still streaming from his eyes as he sat there.

"It isn't any of your business." Francis glared at him.

"Well I'm MAKING it my business." And with that he punched the Frenchman in the face. The other's head hit the wall and he passed out. Alfred sneered and then ripped up a blanket, throwing it at the Frenchman. "Fuck. You."

Alfred turned to Mattie and grabbed ahold of his arm.

"Come on Mattie, you're coming to my house. I'm not letting you stay here with this French pig." As soon as Matthew nodded Alfred began pulling him off of the bed and out of the room.

They were halfway to Alfred's house when his head cleared and he really took in what had just happened. Matthew was just raped…and Alfred had saved him because he was a hero…and now…Matthew…Had no clothes on…sh*t…why hadn't he thought of at least wrapping a blanket around him before he dragged him out of the house? Ugh. He was an idiot… he wanted to bang his head against the steering wheel, but…that wouldn't be a good idea seeing as he was trying to drive…so he just let out a groan.

"Uh….So….Mattie…" what should he say to him? He just looked so….broken… Alfred waited for the other teen to respond but…it didn't seem like he would be answering any time soon… The American sighed and continued to drive, his GPS guiding him back to his house. It wasn't like Matthew lived out in the middle of nowhere, no…Alfred was just REALLY bad a directions. Meaning he had no _sense _of direction.

They pulled into the American's house. It was painted white with an American flag hanging by the doorway. The mat below the door was also a picture of the American flag reading "home sweet home" He liked his patriotism! Looking at the driveway he could see that mom wasn't home yet….oh sh*t…mom…it was better that she wasn't home just yet because…Alfred didn't know how he would sneak a naked teenage boy into the house without his mother noticing…but still…how would he explain Mattie to his mother when she got home…It wasn't like he was the puppy he had picked up on the street and saved after it got hit by a car when he was little… He'd begged his mother to let him keep it, and she told him that it had an owner. They'd searched for the owner, but they never found it and so Alfred was able to keep it. His mother had been pretty cool about that. But…this was whole teenage boy and. "mommy can we keep him?" didn't seem like it was going to work…

Alfred stopped the car and looked at Matthew. Naked….uh…

"Mattie," He quickly took off his Jacket and handed it to the blond teenager. "Here, can you put this on? We need to go into the house…" Mattie looked at him, his blue violet eyes seeming duller than they were this morning… "Mattie?" The teen just nodded and took the jacket. Alfred looked away as he put the jacket on. He had to stop himself from staring at the hikeys that were beginning to form all over the other one's skin…how could someone do that…poor Mattie…Man…If Alfred had been there sooner he would have beaten the Frenchman's face in the moment he touched little Mattie. Alfred would have—

"M'kay…" Matthew mumbled, his voice sounded broken…like a beaten child. Alfred felt the need to protect him grow even stronger. This wasn't like his normal need to protect someone because he was the hero…it was…something different. Something…stronger?

"Alright." Alfred unbuckled and opened his door, stepping out of his car and moving around to the other side to open mattie's door for him.

When he ushered the teen into the house Alfred had him sit down on the couch, swapping his jacket for a blanket.

"So…um…are you…alright?" Ah! Stupid Alfred! He was just RAPED, how could he be alright? The other teen didn't respond. Kay…so this was going nowhere… "Do you….want something to…" Matthew's shoulders were shaking, tears beginning to stream down his face again as he hiccupped little sobs. "…eat…" Alfred's voice fell flat. Sh*t…he wasn't good with others crying…

"Mattie…wh…what's wrong?" Ugh..another stupid question to which the answer was that he was raped. Everything was wrong… "okay…stupid question…um…" Alfred rubbed at his neck, trying to think of something to comfort the crying Canadian… The other just began to cry harder…Damnit… "Mattie? Calm down okay? Just…tell me what happened…" No….that was prying…and he probably didn't want to talk about it…Alfred bit his lip. "Uh…well…you don't have to…um….Are you hungry?" why was the only thing he could think of food…?

Matthew shook his head and brought his legs closer to his chest.

"Um…do you want anything?"

Again the Canadian shook his head, letting out a little whimper. Alfred frowned.

"Mattie…" without realizing what he was doing he reached over and placed his hand on Matthew's shoulder. The teen freaked out at the touch, trying to get away from Alfred, his blankets falling around his shoulders as he did, exposing his chest and all of the hickeys…in the light Alfred could now see how many red dots covered his skin…so…many…

"oh gosh…please…don't cry…uh…here." Alfred grabbed the box of tissues from the table beside the couch and placed them on top of Matthew's knees. He wasn't expecting the blond to use them…Alfred just…couldn't stand to see him crying like that…

Mattie began crying again, causing the box to fall onto the floor. Alfred sighed and leaned over towards him, pulling the covers back around his shoulders, careful not to touch him.

"Al…." he hiccupped. Alfred nearly jumped off of the couch.

"Yeah?" He just met with whimpering again. "Mattie?"

"F…fr….franc…."

"Francis? Yeah…what he did to you was horrible…no one should have to go through that, what kind of brother—" Alfred stopped and noticed that the other teen had stopped shaking and was now just staring into space, tears continuing to flow out of his eyes as he seemed to look past where they were right now… It was like he was going back to that time…Sh*t…um…uh…

"Mattie?" Alfred looked at the Canadian, moving a little bit closer so he could snap his fingers in front of his face.

"…Daddy…." The blond whimpered softly…It was so soft that Alfred barely heard it, but he did…and…what? Matthew started to breathe heavily, his body rocking back and forth.

"MATTIE!" Alfred yelled, trying to get the other teen to come back to him.

Matthew jumped, his eyes going wide at the loud yell and then falling back to Alfred, searching…he looked like a lost puppy…

"Um…." Man, for someone who never stopped talking Alfred seemed to be at a loss for words… "What happened? What the hell was that?" He asked.

"Nothing…" Matthew mumbled. "Nothing…I'm fine…" Alfred frowned. He knew what "fine" looked like, and this wasn't it.

"No you're not Mattie…You're hurt…please…let me help you…?"

"I don't…need help…" Matthew yet again brought his knees closer to his chest.

"Yes you do! Look at yourself! You know…you're not alone…You have people who really care about you…" Those indigo eyes came up again, searching Alfred's face with a somewhat resentful look in them.

"You just met me today." Mattie stated coolly.

"Yeah…" Alfred smiled. "But I'm the hero! You may not think so, but I am! How else could I have saved you back there?"

Matthew looked down at the floor.

"I never said that you weren't…" Alfred's eyes widened at the words. Did that mean that Mattie considered him a hero now?

"Well you were this morning… but yeah, I'm the hero and…you look like me, and I have this strange need to protect you… so…you can think of me as your own PERSONAL hero!" He grinned at Matthew.

Matthew smiled and then began to giggle. Alfred felt happiness swirl through him. He had made him laugh! It only lasted for a short time though before Mattie's laughs grew into sobs again. Damnit…

"Awh man…and we were getting somewhere too…ummm…do you want a cheese burger?" Matthew shook his head… Uh…what did Candain's like…Ah ha! Pancakes! "How about some pancakes?" He was met with wide eyes and a nod. So pancakes it was! "Alright!" Alfred jumped up from the couch and began walking towards the kitchen. "You stay right there alright? I'm gonna make you some Pancakes~" Matthew nodded and watched the American exit the room.

For a moment Matthew felt completely alone… He wondered what had just happened…it had completely registered yet what Francis had done…or that Alfred had saved him…he just…felt so empty…broken…

"So! Where did you move here from?" Matthew didn't respond. "No…? Okay…uh…" Alfred just continued to talk and ramble on about random stuff. It made Matthew feel better, hearing the hyper American just ramble on and on and on…it didn't matter if Matthew responded even, Alfred just kept talking as he made pancakes. It was strange really… Matthew felt so close to him, even though they had just met that day.

"Sh*t… I can't find any of that easy mix…do you know how to make pancakes?"

Matthew thought about it…did he know how to make pancakes? If so…he forgot the exact recipe. Something about flour eggs and milk, but he assumed Alfred already knew those would be ingredients…

"Maybe I can just look it up on the internet…oh wait-" There was a loud crash in the kitchen. Matthew flinched at the noise and then wondered what the American could be doing… He was probably making a mess that he would get in trouble for…he seemed like that type…

"Al…?" There was another sound and then Alfred's voice.

"Got it! We DO have some mix! Cause you know, I'm a hero and heroes are amazing~" Matthew smiled and almost laughed again, but there was something hollow in his chest making him feel like he couldn't laugh without beginning to cry again…

Maybe he just needed to cry, just sob until that horrible hollowness was gone…maybe he would feel better then…

"So, do you like school so far?" Alfred stuck his head out of the kitchen doorway to see if Matthew was answering him in nods and head shakes or if he was just spacing out again. Matthew nodded.

"Yeah…the little bits of time that I have been able to be in school…"

"Awesome! You're talking to me now! Sweet! Ah—" He tried to think of what the Canadian had said, having been carried away by the fact that he was now forming full sentences and seemed to be doing better. "Right, you left early both days…" He frowned. "Why did you have to leave early today?"

And yet again he was met with silence…Alfred sighed and moved back into the kitchen, continuing to try to make pancakes. Had he ever even MADE pancakes before? All he had to do was put the bisquick into the bowl, add water and stir, and then he had to make a pancake…it was like making a burger right? Put it on, flip it a few times and it was done? Man…how could he NOT know how to make pancakes…?

"So~ What do you think of Arthur and them?"

"They're…interesting people…" Matthew smiled and looked at the TV, he noticed that they had a wii. It was a popular thing among Americans, and it looked like it would be fun to play… He didn't have one because his father didn't agree with the idea of spending time inside playing video games…

"I think that you'll learn to love them! They're fun to chill with!" Alfred began to mix the pancake stuff in the bowl, yeah~

"They seem like they're fun to be around."

_Never boring at least…_

"Yeah, they are!"

There was silence for a little bit as Alfred began to butter the pan.

_Alright…pancakes…_

Matthew froze as there was a sound over by the doorway.

"Al….?" He mumbled. The other teen didn't seem to hear him. Matthew watched the handle turn, and the door opened.

A woman with long blond hair carrying a mass of bags walked into the house.

"Alfred you know you could help me with some of these—" She looked at him, her blue eyes darkening as they narrowed. "ALFRED! What have I told you about sitting on the couch nake—"

Alfred popped out of the doorway to the kitchen, spatula in hand and stared at him mother.

F*ck….f*ck…f*ck…

He knew that she was going to be home soonish…but…damnit! He hadn't even thought of how he was going to explain Mattie to her…

His mother's eyes went to him, and then to Matthew. Lingering on the Canadian for a long time, the bags slipped out of her hands.

"Oh…" She whispered. "Oh dear…."

* * *

I like leaving you guys with cliffhangers don't I? and i apologize for the spelling of elizaveta's name...ugh...microsoft word changed it to elizabetha...meh... Haha what do you think is going to happen next? Since I was so nice and uploaded so soon don't forget to review because you love me~ review=more chapters like this(quickly uploaded) love you guys! See you later!


	7. Just a Dream

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Hetalia

Sorry if the bleeping of the swears is weird…that's just how I am…I'll try to stop if it's annoying…*sigh* though I will keep it in dialogue, just know that it means they are actually censoring themselves! ^-^ enjoy!

* * *

Ah….shit…Mom was home…

"M-Mom…Hey….uh…this is my friend Matthew…he's new and…uh…yeah, I bet you're wondering why he is sitting on the couch in a blanket and…well…there is a very good explanation for that…" She didn't seem to be hearing a single word he was saying… Her eyes were still wide and on Matthew. "Mom…?"

"Oh dear…" She blinked and began to walk towards the Canadian.

" Hey-" Why did it smell like something was burning…?

Crap! The pancakes! Alfred whirled around and turned off the stove, grabbing a plate and throwing the somewhat burnt pancake onto it. Well there went that idea…

When Alfred came back out of the kitchen his mother was now standing right in front of Matthew. Was something wrong? Why did it seem like something was wrong…?

"Matthew…" Her voice trembled. The Canadian's blue violet eyes widened a bit and he flinched back as her fingers went to the blanket, drawing it down a little to look at all of the marks on his skin. She gasped. "What…happened…?"

Matthew felt a prickling sensation in his nose. For some reason he wanted to cry to her, tell her everything that was wrong…

"Long story?" Alfred handed Matthew the pancake and went to go pick up the grocery bags that were still on the floor from his mother dropping them. Hopefully there went any eggs…

The blond woman whirled on him.

"Then you'll have some time to tell it to me after you get Matthew some clothes."

"Wha—" Would they even be the same size….? Matthew looked a lot smaller even if they were the same height. "Okay…I'll put these in the kitchen and—"

"Leave them there, I'll put them in, just go and get him something to wear."

"Alright mom…" Alfred had to resist the urge to roll his eyes. She was so bossy sometimes…

* * *

Alfred came back down with a pair of PJ's in his hand. He handed them to Matthew and pointed out the bathroom, and also asked him if he wanted to take a shower to get all the nasty feeling off of him. Matthew had said that he would like to so Alfred gave him a towel as well. As he waited for the Canadian to finish, and for his mother to be done with putting the groceries away he decided that he would turn on the wii and play a game of Mario Cart. He was seriously awesome at this game~ he had beaten everyone so far, even Gil who had claimed HE was the most awesome, but we all know that heroes are more awesome than albinos.

With a grin he flipped the wii controller in his hand and turned on the game. Yeah~

He didn't know how long he had been playing for-but he knew he was rockin it!- when he heard a familiar voice behind him.

"What's that?" Matthew asked as he came out of the bathroom, his hair still a little bit damp from the shower and that odd curl still coming out of his head…Alfred had one too, but his wasn't the same, more of a cowlick and…crap…

"Mattie, can you see?" Matthew looked at him and smiled a little.

"Yeah, my prescription isn't too strong."

…hmmm…

"Try these on." Alfred took off his glasses and handed them to the Canadian. Matthew took them and put them on.

"The same as my glasses." He laughed as he took them off. Alfred smiled at him.

"Awesome!" He put the glasses back on. "It's good to see that you are feeling better!"

Matthew blushed.

"Yeah…it wasn't as bad as…" He stopped, a strange look coming into his eyes. "It could have been." He finished flatly. "Ummm….So what're you playing?"

"Mario Cart! Wanna play? I'll kick your ass!" Matthew laughed.

"Okay! How do you play?"

"Well, you used the controller as a steering wheel and yeah…you'll get the hang of it. When you hit a box thingy, use the B button here to throw stuff. And…yeah…that's basically it…Oh! And 2 is go." Matthew looked down at his remote and then nodded, sitting on the couch beside Alfred.

The game began; Alfred decided that it would probably be best to start with something easy so he chose Peach Gardens. He was confident he would win…but…how the hell was he in second place?

"No WAY! Alright no. be someone else!"

"But I like Baby Peach…"

"Fine… It was just beginners luck anyway—"

"Boys?" Alfred's mother walked in, looking at the two of them with a somewhat weary look. "can you turn off the game for a bit, we need to talk…" Reluctantly Alfred turned off the TV and placed the controllers on the table. His mother sat down with them, looking at the both of them and then sighing…

"I didn't think this day would come…I'm so sorry Matthew…" Eh? Why was she apologizing? "Can you…tell me what happened?" Matthew bit his lip and looked at Alfred. Was he asking his to tell her? Did he really not care if she knew…? No? Alright then…

"His brother was raping him. But I saved him!"

Mom's face went white; she looked like she was going to be sick…

"Mom?" She looked over at Matthew.

"I am so sorry sweetie…that shouldn't have happened…where was your father?" Matthew looked up at her, his eyes widening a little, then he looked back down.

"He killed himself when I was little. After…." Matthew bit his lip. "no…he was dead when I woke up." WHAT? Alfred's mouth fell open. What was this? "The Bonnefoys adopted me."

Mom looked ready to faint.

"Your father…oh…I'm so Sorry Matthew…" Alfred stared at her…what was she…

"Mom…" He swallowed. "Why do you keep apologizing?"

The blond woman looked over at him, something in her eyes made her seem…changed.

"Alfred…Matthew... the two of you are brothers." Alfred's eyes widened a little bit. WHAT?

"So that would explain how much we look alike! We're TWINS! That's so—Wait….what….? Why didn't you tell me?" He questioned. Matthew looked like he was about to have a panic attack or something. What was going through his mind? Was he upset by this fact? Alfred had guessed it himself, but… the confirmation was still…weird… How did he feel…? Mom had just said that they were brothers…and she was the one who had taken Alfred…why had she not taken Matthew? If she had his childhood wouldn't have been so…messed up…

_It's all her fault…_

Matthew thought as he looked away, tears beginning to sting his eyes.

"I didn't tell you because you would have gone out to look for him…. And…Matthew?" She bit her lip, moving a hand onto his shoulder. The Canadian flinched, moving away from her and giving her the most hurt expression that Alfred had ever seen. It was like there was a brokenness inside of him…it hurt Alfred to see him make that kind of expression…

"Mattie…" He murmured.

The teen continued to stare at their mother.

"Why?" He whispered, that one word filled with so much pain.

"Your father said that he wanted one of you. That you were his children too, and if I was leaving him he still wanted to be able to see you. Matthew…you were not as much of a mama's boy as Alfred…I thought that it would be okay…but…I'm….I'm so…so..sorry…" She bit her lip. Matthew continued to stare at her.

"No… It's all your fault…" He murmured. He knew that he was being selfish…but he really hated her right now. So much…he couldn't stand her…he wanted her to disappear. He wanted Alfred to go away as well…it was because of them that he had gone through all of that. She COULD have kept Matthew, but she had left him with their father. Matthew was jealous that she had chosen Alfred over him. So much hate was filling up his chest. It felt like it was going to cave in on him. Maybe he was just sad… He wanted to cry…Wanted to sob…

_It's not fair…_

"I'm sorry Matthew. If I could go back in time I would change it. I would…I promise…I would have taken you both…He just…loved you so much…"

"Yeah." Matthew spat. "Too much!"

They all froze.

"Mattie…" Alfred was looking at him. "What do you mean? Did he do something to you? Did he hurt you…?"

"Just…leave me alone…please…I…"

"Okay." His mother got up, giving him one last look before she went to her room.

"Mattie…"

"Al, please?" His voice cracked.

"Okay…Sorry…I'll…I'll go….It'll be okay Mattie." He smiled sadly. "Because I'm the hero."

"I know…" Matthew tried to bring a smile to his lips, but failed.

Alfred sighed and got up from the couch, walking upstairs to his room. Hopefully everything would be alright by tomorrow…

* * *

Red velvet covered the floor, blood still pouring out from the body of Francis.

Matthew fought back the urge to throw up but failed. His body reeled in dry heaves. Was he having a panic attack? How was this happening again? No…He needed Francis! Despite everything he was still his brother wasn't he?

No….Alfred was his brother…

"Matthew…" A voice rasped in his ear. "Matthew…" Cold hands slid up his shirt, making him feel sick. "Matthew…"

"STOP!" He was trembling, "STOP!"

"MATTIE!" A light suddenly appeared, it hurt Matthew's eyes at first, but then he noticed that the hands were gone, the image of Francis had become simply a sleeping form.

The hero was here….

He would save him.

* * *

Matthew's eyes shot open and he realized that he was crying. His body was shaking and tears were heating the sides of his face.

It was just a dream…

Just a dream…

Thank god…

"Mattie?"

Matthew's eyes suddenly came into focus and he saw Alfred.

Al…

"Mattie are you alright you look—" and that was when Matthew began to cry. He was sobbing… Alfred looked at the Canadian, his newly found twin brother. He looked to weak…so defenseless, he looked so innocent, even though that had been taken from him. Alfred couldn't resist, he pulled his twin in, hugging him closely.

Matthew didn't push him away, for once he just let someone hold him. He let Alfred in. He was his twin. Despite how much he wanted to hate him, how he should detest him…he couldn't…

As Matthew cried he began to tell Alfred about what had happened to him when he was little, what his father had done. Alfred had listened and told him that it would be okay, and that that he was there be Matthew's side he would continue to be his hero.

Because that's what he was, a hero…

"Okay…" Matthew mumbled as he began to fall asleep, the both of them were getting pretty tired, and crying wore you out a lot. The twins fell asleep on the couch, Alfred snoring slightly as Matthew mumbled words in his sleep.

* * *

"Awwwwwwwwwwwwwww~" Matthew woke up to a bright flash realizing that his mother had been taking pictures of them…

"….Mom….?" Alfred opened his eyes a bit and looked at the woman.

"You two are so cute~"

"What time is it…?" Al asked, continuing to try and wake himself up. Where were his glasses?

The blond haired woman reached in her pocket for her cell phone, pulling it out to check the time.

"Oh…."

Alfred glared at her.

"Oh?"

The woman smiled sheepishly. "Well, you've got ten minutes to get ready and get on the bus…and I've got to get to work! Bye Alfie! Bye Mattie! Love you!" And with that she raced out the doorway, grabbing the keys on the way out.

"Damnit!" Alfred stood up, then he looked at Mattie who still looked a little dazed. "Mattie…" the indigo eyed boy looked up at him and suddenly Alfred remembered everything that he had told him last night…How could someone have done that to him…? And his own father…? Alfred shuddered….His father as well…It was just…

Horrible…

And then it had happened again last night.

Ah fuck it….

_We are having a pajama day._

"Come on Mattie, we are wearing our PJ's today~"

Matthew blinked and then looked down at the pajamas that he was wearing…a superman shirt that a little too big on him and plaid PJ pants…Did normal people wear pajamas just because they felt like it?

"Okay…?" He got up.

"Crap!"

Matthew's eyes widened at the sudden outburst from his twin.

"What?"

"Homework!" Alfred sighed. "Well it's not like I'm acing all of my classes anyways…and you can use the excuse that you…didn't get it…My fault. K?"

Matthew nodded.

"What's the matter Mattie? You've hardly said anything…"

"Hmmm?" he blinked up at the American.

"Are you always like this in the morn—You need glasses! Do you want to borrow a pair of mine? Yeah, here, I'll be right back!"

Alfred ran upstairs, grabbed the glasses and his backpack, then ran back down the stairs just as there was a beeping from outside.

"REALLY?" Ugh…Alfred ran to the doorway and picked up two pairs of his shoes. Hopefully Matthew was the same size as him… "Come on Mattie!" And with that the two of them ran out the door, both somewhat frazzled looking…Alfred with the shoes in his hands. Matthew struggling to catch up as he locked the door behind them.

* * *

Okay. So I don't really know what to do next…^_^' any suggestions? Help? Haha remember to review! They always make me happy and happy Star=more chapters uploaded quickly~3


	8. Questions

DISCLAIMER: I do not own hetalia.

okay. sorry this chapter is a bit late...*sigh* i couldnt think of anything to write...but...here we go! after reading 2 books i was finally inspired to write! haha

* * *

Alfred grabbed ahold of the bus door as it began to close.

"Wait!" He looked behind him to find Matthew looking somewhat disheveled. "here." He handed him a pair of shoes and stepped onto the bus shuffling his brother on close behind him. It was odd thinking of Mattie as his brother. It seemed natural actually, but…It Matthew must not think it so…It was Alfred's fault that horrible things had happened to him…

"Alfred, Matthew?" Alfred was pulled out of his thoughts by the voice he loved so much to hear~

"Arthur~" He sat down next to the British man who was staring at Matthew with an odd look on his face.

"What's wrong?" Alfred questioned.

"Those are your clothes. And glasses…" Matthew blushed a little. Crap…this was probably very misleading…and he didn't want to have to tell Arthur about what had happened last night…man, even THAT sounded misleading.

"Yeah, Mattie slept over last night and forgot to bring a change of clothes so I let him borrow mine." He covered. Arthur still looked a bit suspicious, but he seemed to accept it a little. "Are you jealous~?" Alfred grinned as he slung an arm around him.

"Alfred…" Arthur growled, turning darkening green eyes onto the American. Alfred slunk back and sighed.

"Oh Mattie sit with—"

"You can sit with me if you like." Alfred tensed up at the voice coated in that oh so familiar accent.

"Piss off Commie bastard." The American growled as he looked at the Russian who was sitting across from them. He hardly EVER rode the bus. Why was he on today? Ugh. To aggravate Alfred no doubt. It seemed to be his life purpose. Alfred pulled on his shoes.

"Do not refer to me that way Alfred." Said Commie bastard spoke the words with a careful and dangerous tone.

"I'll refer to you any way I please C-"

"Alfred! Shush! I'll sit with you."Matthew smile pleasantly and sat down next to the smiling Russian. Alfred found it creepy how he was always smiling. He was a freak. The thought of his little twin brother sitting with someone like him was not something Alfred enjoyed.

"Alfred," Arthur once again was looking at him, his green eyes narrowed and thick eyebrows drawn down in an aggravated look.

"Yes?" He tried to put on his most charming and heroic smile, but he knew that Arthur wouldn't be swayed by that. He wanted to know something…and when he wanted information, he usually got it…

"Your mother doesn't let people sleep over on school nights."

"Well he slept over…" Alfred bit his lip.

"What happened between the two of you, don't think I didn't see that hickey peeking out from his shirt collar." Alfred blood turned to ice in his veins and he bit his lip nervously. He didn't have the right to tell Matthew's story to anyone… But this was Arthur… and…he thought that something had happened between the two of them! Which wasn't good…but…Mattie…

"Thanks, Sherlock, for noticing." He remarked sarcastically which received him a glare from the other man. Okay, so Arthur had no sense of humor…But Alfred had tried. "It…that…" The American looked over at Matthew who was having a conversation with Ivan. How he could actually stand to hold a conversation with the Russian was beyond Alfred… "I'll tell you later okay?"

Still glaring at him Arthur nodded and looked away from Alfred. The American sighed, man… what was he going to tell him…?

* * *

Matthew sighed as he entered the school. It seemed like things were relatively normal. No one was asking him any questions at least. Tony was looking at him with a somewhat pitying look, but it was okay. At least he didn't ask any questions. There was only one question which he was asked by a rather blunt albino…

"Why're you wearing Alfred's clothes?" Matthew paused for a second, thinking back to what Alfred had said on the bus.

"I slept over his house last night and forgot to bring a change of clothes…"

"How do you forget something like that?"

"Uh…" Suddenly Matthew felt an arm wrap around his shoulder, causing the Canadian to flinch when he realized who it was. Just Alfred…

"He's was doing homework and it got too late for him to go back home."

"Uh….huh…" the albino didn't seem to believe it.

"Dude, he's my little brother. You seriously think something would have happened?"

"Little—" Matthew began.

"Brother?" Gilbert looked at the two of them.

"Naw, it's just a coincidence that we look almost exactly alike. No way that we could be brothers~" Alfred teased.

"Matthew is really your brother?" Antonio walked over to them.

"Yeah,"

"Then wh—"

"I'll explain later. It's class time."

"Since when have you care—"

"gotta go!"

And with that Alfred was speeding off down the hallway and Matthew was left with the group who wanted to know too much. He was suddenly very nervous and uncomfortable…

"I….I'm gonna go to class too…" His eyes shifted down to the floor and he began to walk past the group, but he was being followed by someone…Gilbert…he was in his next class…Hopefully he would continue to question him… Matthew really didn't know what to tell them… and he didn't want the rumor of what Francis had done going around…

Francis… what would matthew do after school today? Would he go home? His mother must be worried…But she wasn't really his mother…his real mother…lived so close by…but he didn't want to see her face. He didnt know how to react when around her, she was…she had abandoned him…chosen Alfred over him…it was her fault that father had—

"Mattie? Hey, Mattie? MATTHEW!" The Canadian stopped as he felt fingers wrap around his wrist and tug his backwards. Matthew blinked, and then struggled to get away from the albino. "Hey, chill man, me and my awesomeness just saved you from falling down the steps. Are you alright and—is that a hikey?" Matthew looked down at his collar bone where there was indeed a hikey being exposed by the way the other teen had tugged on his shirt-which was slightly too big on him.

"N-no." He blushed and pulled his shirt back up to cover the mark. The other was giving him a doubting look. "It…Alfred didn't do it." For some reason he felt the need to defend that. Because if Alfred HAD been the one to do it, it would have been even more wrong. Gilbert's eyes narrowed, not with suspicion that he was lying…but something else.

"Then who did?" Matthew felt his heartbeat getting faster and faster. He wanted to run away from Gilbert….With those prying ruby eyes of his.

"N-"

"It's none of your business Gil." Matthew glanced up at the familiar voice. Alfred to the rescue, again. He supposed that he should be grateful for it.

"But."

"None. Of. Your. Business." Each word was dripping with venom. Alfred could really be scary if he wanted to… "good thing I needed to get something out of my locker." He looked at Matthew and walked closer to him, moving Gilbert away from the shaking Canadian. Matthew hadn't even realized that he was shaking until then actually…

"I'm sorry." Gilbert looked at Matthew. "really, I didn't mean to pry." And with that, he turned around and walked into the classroom that Matthew had guessed he passed while he had been thinking…

"It's okay Al…" Matthew muttered looking at his twin. Something caught in him as he looked at the other teen's face. It was a sort of resent towards him that Matthew couldn't help but feel. Maybe he was just jealous that Alfred had lived his life like a normal teenager, happy without anything bad happening to him…Matthew hated the way that he seemed to think he was such a hero, but he hated the fact even more that Alfred WAS a hero…

"Alright, I'm gonna go to class now…You'll be okay without me for a bit?" Matthew nodded and walked away from Alfred, heading into his next class.

Once he got into the classroom the teacher was looking at him. It wasn't a look of 'you're late go take your seat' it was a pitying look. Matthew shivered and began to walk towards his seat.

"Matthew," He turned around and looked at her. Really she couldn't be much older than they were. In her early twenties still he guessed.

"Yes?" He had to stop himself from biting at his lip as the nerves began to set in. what was she going to ask him? Did she see the hikey on his shirt? Without realizing it he had begun to tug his shirt closer up his neck. Hopefully there wasn't anything that was showing. He was a teenager, and it was normal…but…He didn't want questions asked…At all.

"If you didn't get to your homework last night that is okay." He gave her a blank look for a second and then realized that she was letting him get away with not having done his homework since she had heard about the death of his father…. Did all of the teachers know?

Matthew simply nodded at the brunette teacher and sat down in his seat.

* * *

The classes leading up to lunch passed quickly, making Matthew nervous. It always seems that something bad happened at lunch time. And even if something didn't go wrong…Matthew had never been to his classes after lunch. What was next? World history… and then gym… And that was it. Then…he had to go somewhere. Back to Alfred's house…or back to his house. Back to where Francis was…

Would Francis still come and pick him up today…?

"Hey Gil, where's your boyfriend~?" Alfred grinned as he looked at the albino.

"Roderick?" He paused and looked around as if he just noticed the others absence himself. "I don't know…"

"You two have a fight or something?"

"Wha-no….i don't think so…"

"Sh*t…" Alfred censored himself and looked around the table. "I've gotta go meet Arthur up on the roof…." He shot a nervous glance towards Matthew. "Bye guys, see you later!" The American raced away from the table, hamburger in one hand, fries in the other. When did he even GET Mcdonalds…? Matthew was brought out of his thoughts by Gilbert beginning to move closer to him, and Antonio looking at him. Great….the questions were about to begin…

"I…" Matthew began. "Bathroom." And with that he stood up and walked out of the cafeteria.

* * *

Alfred looked over at Arthur as wind whipped through his hair. What was he going to tell him…? The truth…but it wasn't really his truth to tell…

"Arthur…?" The Englishman looked at him his eyes narrowed a little bit. Alfred smiled and took a bite of his cheeseburger as he moved to sit down next to him.

"Explain." Was all the other man said.

"Well…It's kind of…personal…" Anger flared through those brilliant green eyes. "For Matthew that is…I well…" Alfred bit his lip and sighed. "Yesterday…after he left…The teachers were all like. 'oh you look like Matthew so you must be related and you should give him these papers'" Alfred made his voice all high and sweet for the teachers before dropping back to his normal to his normal voice and continuing. "So I got Mattie's papers and I was supposed to return them to him, but I forgot and it was night time and I was about to play my super awesome new game- and DAMNIT! I still haven't played it… but that's not the point…well…so I drove over to his house to give him his papers, and…well…" He stopped, Arthur was still staring at him.

"What happened Alfred?" He snapped.

"But…I should…really be asking Matthew if it is okay… I mean…It…well….Do you promise not to tell anyone a single word of what I say and that you will act totally fine in front of Mattie?"

"I promise."

"And you've got to promise to go out with me." Alfred grinned. The other didn't seem too amused by his little joke and just glared at him. "Okay…not funny…got it. Well…" Alfred let out a big huff of air, knowing what he was doing was probably wrong… "So I walked into Mattie's house and there….were noises…" He stopped.

"What kind of noises, and-Alfred you just walked in? That is very—"

"Yeah, yeah, I know. But I _did_ knock and when nobody came, and the door was unlocked…I figured I could just go in…I was just going to put the papers on the table and leave, but then…I heard Mattie cry…and…" He bit his lip again, his heart beating faster. "Well…He…I…I'm a hero. So I walked into the room and…Francis…" he stopped before letting the words tumble from his lips. "He was trying to rape Matthew…well succeeding… and I'm pretty sure he was drunk, because he wreaked of wine and beer…and…" Arthur's eyes widened and he looked absolutely appalled, as he should…Alfred's voice shook a little "I'm a hero and I threw him off of Mattie and I was all cool and like. 'don't you fucking touch him' and then I knocked his out and threw a blanket at him and then I brought Mattie to my house. And that's the reason for the hikeys and the fact that he is in my clothes and that he had to sleep over…and…yeah…but you can't tell anyone! It's Matthew's personal stuff and I probably shouldn't have told you…but…yeah…apparently also we have the same mother and are twins and she took me when I was little and our dad kept Matthew and he rapped him and then killed hi-…I shouldn't be telling you that…but…it's…just so horrible Arthur…" Alfred felt tears welling in his eyes. "How can someone do something so horrible…?"

"I…" Arthur reached out and pulled Alfred into a hug. "It'll be okay Alfred…I won't tell anyone… I promise…some people can just be cruel and horrible people…" Alfred's shoulders were shaking as he fought back sobs. He didn't understand…He didn't understand how people could be that cruel… He was thankful for Arthur's hand rubbing his back, and his comforting murmurs.

* * *

As Matthew walked the halls he heard a beautiful sound coming from one of the rooms. It sounded like someone was playing the piano…it was…wonderful…though it was nothing that Matthew had heard before. The sound of it was delicate and strong, powerful and yet so soothing, thrilling but sad… How could someone be playing something this amazing?

Matthew found himself walking towards the source of the music. It was a room with a piano in it, he felt like it would be wrong to walk into the room and tae the chance of being notice and stopping this beautiful sound…

Finally the music died out with a crescendo that arched into a loving and simple melody that seemed at the same time to be very complex. When it was over, Matthew felt warm inside and noticed a slight pricking in his nose. For a moment he thought he had been clapping but realized it was someone else.

"That was beautiful Roderick!" The voice was recognizable even though it was coated with tears… Their English teacher…Elizaveta? And Roderick…? Maybe he had just asked to listen to it for an opinion… "You…wrote this for me…?"

"Yes." There was a smile in the other man's voice as Matthew heard the scrapping of the piano bench. Roderick had written that beautiful song…for Elizaveta…but…she was his teacher… were they…? But Roderick was with Gilbert…

"It's beautiful."

"It's you." His tone was soft, endearing…

"You…"

"I called it '_Elizaveta_'. I think it is the most beautiful song that I have ever written."

"It's amazing…" Her voice trembled.

"Yes…" There was a brief silence and Matthew heard it.

The sound of a kiss.

Oh god…Roderick and Elizaveta were… Matthew backed away from the room and began to walk down the hall at a quick pace. Did Gilbert know…? No…he still thought…

What was Matthew supposed to do now? It wasn't like there was much he could do…tell Gilbert? Would that be too cruel?

When he got back into the lunch room he grabbed his lunch, dumped it and began walking out to leave because lunch was basically over by now…

"Matthew? Are you okay?" The Canadian blinked at the Prussian who had just talked to him. A battle began in his chest. Should he tell him?

"Yeah…I'm fine…" Was the only thing that he could answer.

* * *

Matthew found out that in his next class he was sitting right next to Alfred. It was nice to have someone he knew in the classroom. But something seemed to be wrong with the usually chipped American…had he been… crying?

When Alfred met his eyes he looked like a puppy who had been whipped, and Matthew had been the one holding the whip… What was the matter?

"Al?" Before he could ask him anything class began.

Here is was…The end of the day…Matthew still hadn't decided what he was going to do…

Alfred pulled his backpack onto his shoulder and bit his lip.

"You…coming to my house?" He asked.

"I…" Matthew began but he heard a gasp and looked up to see what Alfred was seeing.

…

…

_Francis_

…

…

Matthew began to back up.

"Matthew." The Frenchman began to take a step toward him, but Alfred was already in front of the Canadian a growl beginning in his throat.

"What are you doing here you fucking bastard?"

Francis looked away and then back at them, he looked hurt. His blue eyes pleading with Matthew to just listen to him….to hear him out…to forgive him…but…Matthew didn't know if he could forgive him…It seemed like it would be easy…Francis had been drunk.

"Matthew…" he tried again, his voice soft, pleading, desperate, and…it sounded like he had been crying… Matthew felt himself twitch forward. No…no…he couldn't forgive him this easily… "Please…"

"Go away" Alfred snapped.

"please…"

Matthew couldn't think of what to do…what to say…This was Francis…Francis… his brother…He loved him…

"He doesn't want to talk to you. Go away."

"Please…" Francis's voice broke and he took another shaky step forward. "Matthew I'm so sorry…please…let me explain…?"

Alfred snorted…Matthew bit his lip and stared at his brother…Francis… his chest was tight.

"Please…"

* * *

DUNDUNDAHDAH~ what's going to happen next~? What is Matthew going to do? What do YOU guys want him to do? should he forgive Francis? If so, Why? Well, love you guys and Review to find out!


	9. I Need To Tell You Something

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Hetalia

* * *

Matthew froze, staring ahead at the man whom he had once trusted.

Why couldn't he still trust him?

He was here now…apologizing…he meant it. The dark circles under his eyes told of a night of no sleep, the red and puffy eyes betrayed the fact that he had been crying. Everything about how Francis was looking at Matthew, the way he held himself, it all screamed that…that… He hadn't meant to…He hadn't known…

Matthew should just forgive him, he should let it all go…but…what if he did and-and it had happened again? Would he be able to bear that? Matthew never wanted something like that to happen again.

"Matthew…" Francis pleaded. Alfred growled again, his body tensing as he became more protective of Matthew. The Canadian could practically see the anger rolling off of Alfred in waves. Was he going to hurt Francis? He really was angry with him… Matthew didn't know if he felt anger like that towards his brother when it was him that it had happened to…the only thing that he had gotten angry at was Alfred and his…Mother…

"Al…It's alright…" Matthew placed a tentative hand on the American's shoulder, unsure of what would happen if he didn't calm the other teen down at least a little bit…

"Mattie! How can you just forgive him after what he DID to you?" Alfred shouted as he turned around and looked at the Canadian. Matthew felt as if he was beginning to shrink under the gaze of Alfred and a few students who had stopped to watch. As if this was some kind of drama show for them…they should really get on with their own lives…but…Matthew couldn't say anything. The words all died in this throat before his lips could even form to say them.

His heart was beating at an uneven pace.

"I—" Was all that he could say.

Alfred's intense blue eyed stare had him locked in place. Matthew felt the urge to run, just run away from everything. He didn't know what life was anymore, perhaps he never did…But right now, he had never wanted to just disappear like this. With everything that happened…was life really worth living…? Alfred thought that he was protecting Matthew from Francis, that Matthew wanted him to…

Did he?

Right now, Francis and Alfred were the two people he would just love to get away from.

"Mattie!" Alfred growled as the Canadian's eyes shifted towards his French brother.

The memory of what Francis had tried to do last night slammed into Matthew's mind, making him flinch. Francis hadn't gone too far…but…he would have. He wanted to. But…he was drunk. And yet, the way the Frenchman had responded to him…Matthew knew he wasn't as drunk as he should have been to do something like that.

"I…" Matthew said again, his voice trembling.

"I am truly sorry Matthew…" Francis took a step forward. Alfred, as if sensing it, whipped around to face him his lips forming a sneer.

"You really think that he'll forgive you after what you did? No. you f*cking bastard! Even if he wanted to I wouldn't let him, I don't want him to have to go through that another time! Do you _know_ what you were doing? Drunk or not there is no excuse for it!" Alfred brought back his fist and thrust it forward, at the Frenchman's face. Francis flinched slightly, but he allowed himself to be hit with the force of Alfred's blow, falling to the ground and clutching his cheek. Alfred advanced on him, and Matthew noticed that more people were gathering around them, gossiping amongst themselves.

_No…_

They were going to make up some kind of story... Matthew knew it. He had just got to the school and already his chance to make a number of friends was going down greatly… Not that he probably would have been able to try to become friends with them…But still…

Anger bubbled slightly in the Canadian. Alfred was the one making a scene of it… He clenched his teeth and sucked in a deep breath through his nose in an attempt to well up some form of courage.

"Alfred—" He began, but when he looked back at them his eyes widened.

Arthur was in between the two of them, glaring at Alfred as he tried to get at the Frenchman. His way was blocked, there was no getting to Francis unless he wanted to push Arthur to the side. Alfred was trying to tell the Englishman to let him go, but the green eyed man simply continued to glare at him.

"Arthur you don't understand! I'm—"

"You're trying to be the hero Alfred, in a battle where a hero isn't needed. Not right now. This is none of your business, despite how much you may be involved with either of them, let Matthew talk for himself." Arthur said sternly as he continued to stare at the American with narrowed eyes.

"But…" there seemed to be a slight blush creeping on Alfred's face. "Mattie needs me…" He looked hurt.

"Alfred, the two of you met yesterday, Francis has been his step brother all his life and Matthew probably wants to talk to him about what happened instead of you screaming it for the world to hear. Look at the crowd you've already gathered." Alfred's eyes widened and he bit his lip.

"I didn't mean…"

"It's not your business to do or say anything right now. Come on, let's go." Matthew couldn't help but think that Arthur seemed pretty cool right there… but as he always that stern and straightforward?

Still biting his lip, Alfred looked at Matthew, his blue eyes pleading the other to tell him something different. That he needed Al to be his hero perhaps? Matthew looked away, he didn't know what he wanted to do…

But he didn't need any saving right now.

"Matthew-Mattie" Alfred and Francis both said his name in a pleading voice. Each of them wanted something different from the other. Both were things that Matthew didn't want. He didn't WANT to forgive Francis right now, but he also didn't want Alfred trying to be his hero in a situation where the act only made things worse.

"…" Matthew opened his mouth to speak but realized that he didn't really have anything that he could say. Where was he going to go? To his house or to Alfred's? He didn't want to have to go to either…He wished there was a place he could go to just get away from both of them, for how long he didn't know, but he wanted to get away from them.

"I'm going home on the bus." He decided. Francis relaxed a bit, a smile just touching on his lips. Matthew bit his lip and locked eyes with the Frenchman. "I don't forgive you Francis. Not yet. I don't know if I ever will, but I'm going to come home because mom is probably worried." Sadness came back into Francis's eyes and he sighed with a nod.

"Can we talk about—"

Matthew was already shaking his head, no. He didn't want to talk about it. He didn't even want to be near the Frenchman.

"Matt—" Alfred was begin tugged away by Arthur.

"Come on you twit, he's made his choice, stop blubbering." Matthew looked over to see that the American was crying. Something in Matthew's heart tugged. Why was he crying?

"I am very truly sorry Matthew." Francis murmured, his eyes lingering on the Canadian before he too turned and walked away with a somewhat defeated air. Matthew knew that he meant it. Francis really was sorry, but if that changed anything, it didn't change much.

Matthew turned around and noticed that the crowd was beginning to go away with last little whispers about what they thought was going on, Matthew's ear's caught one joking voice that said.

"Maybe he raped him-" his stomach turned.

Suddenly he didn't feel like going home very much anymore…

* * *

Alfred was sulking as he sat on the bus beside Arthur. Really, the boy should learn how to mind his own business. Had he been like this when he was little as well? Arthur imagined a little five year old Alfred who wasn't much different from the Alfred he knew now. The blond haired child had a red cape on and was grinning stupidly as he stood at the top of the slide proclaiming to the playground that he was a hero. Knowing the American back then must have been interesting. Did he have many friends or few?

"It's not fair…" Alfred mumbled as he stared at the back of Matthew's head. It was as if he was trying to bore a hole through it. "Arthur…" Those big blue eyes looked pleadingly up at the Englishman, making said man sigh.

"What can I do Alfred, you got yourself into this, it's Matthew's choice if he wants to forgive Francis or not." From what the Englishman could see, the Frenchman had been truly sorry. The fact of what he had done was eating him alive. Giving him another chance would not be easy for anyone, but when one see's a face like his…it seemed like it would be near impossible to stay mad at him.

"Arthur…" Alfred brought his lets up to his body, hugging his knees. To Arthur, Alfred looked like a sad puppy.

"What is it?"

"Can you come over for a bit? I…really just want someone to be with for a bit…" despite how much Arthur wanted to tell him no, that he had to go home, he couldn't bring himself to refuse the American.

"Okay, but I can't stay for a long time."

"M'kay…" Alfred buried his face in his knees and sighed.

* * *

Matthew stepped off of his bus and looked at his house. Francis's car was in the driveway, he had gotten home a long time before Matthew had…Matthew really didn't know how he was going to handle being home right now. But Alfred's house was worse…Much worse…

At least here he didn't have to hate his mother.

The Canadian took a deep breath in and walked up to his front door, pushing it open and calling out that he was home.

When he got no response he decided that he should just head to his room and do some homework. Try to act like a normal teenager, maybe even blast his music… opening his door he noticed that on his bed lay roses and a card. Francis… he really was sorry… Knowing that he would be tempted even more to just forgive the Frenchman for what had happened he pushed the note aside. Now wasn't the time…

Maybe he should just go to sleep…

* * *

Alfred looked down at his blanket, which he was now clutching in his hands as his body shook. Arthur couldn't really do anything for him, in fact he didn't know why Alfred had wanted him to stay with him…he had other things to do…but Alfred needed him to comfort him…Though Arthur didn't see how much of a comfort just sitting there was…

"I don't understand Arthur…." Alfred whined, looking up at Arthur through big blue eyes. Without his glasses Alfred looked so young, like a child.

"You don't have to. Life happens and there is nothing that we can do about it."

"Jerk." He mumbled, his face in the blanket.

"Yeah, yeah."

"Do you think Mattie is going to forgive him?"

"I don't know Alfred, and even if he does, it's his choice and there is nothing you can do about it."

"But…Arthur…He's my brother…my _twin_ brother…and I feel this sort of connection to him that…that I don't understand…I mean, there is a lot that I don't understand, but…this…it's weird… And I…It's my fault that he went through such a horrible childhood…" Alfred took in a deep and shaky breath as he wiped at his eyes with the backs of his hands.

Arthur knew Alfred. He was going to tell him about what had happened to Matthew, even though the information had been told to just him. Because he trusted Arthur…not that he couldn't, it just seemed like something that the American should fix.

"His father—_Our _father…" Alfred began with a sour expression. "He—"

"Alfred, I do not believe that it is right of you to tell me Matthew's personal business okay?"

Alfred bit down on his lower lip and nodded.

"Are you alright now?" Again there was another nod. Arthur sighed, "Well then I'm going to go home." He wanted to get back before it got too dark out.

"No…" Alfred reached out and tugged at his shirt. "I…don't want you to go home… Arthur…I'm so confused…" The tears welling in those big blue eyes were enough to make a man weak, but they did not affect Arthur as they would have if he had not known the American for as long as he had. Though it had only been 3 years, those 3 years seemed like forever… Weather that was good or bad, he wasn't sure.

"It'll be fine Alfred."

"How do you know that…?" He seemed to be searching for something in the Englishman, a glimmer of hope that he would feel better about everything in a little while. Arthur wasn't sure what to tell him, so he sighed and sat down on the bed beside him, placing a hand in the American's messy blond hair.

"I don't, but if you believe it in…" Alfred snorted.

"Faith, trust and pixie dust?"

"Something like that." Arthur smiled. Alfred blinked a little before returning the smile with a new warmness in his eyes.

"You look amazing when you smile, it's really…breathtaking." Arthur tried to fight back the blush that was rising on his cheeks, sometimes the American said the most random things.

"Alfred…"

"You know Arthur…I really…"

"Alfred, if you are alright, I'm going home now. Goodnight, and see you tomorrow."

"How will you get home if I don't drive you?" Alfred's eyes narrowed a bit as a smirk came over his face.

"I'll take your car."

"No you wouldn't…" despite his words Alfred's face paled a little bit as if he was afraid that Arthur really would steal his baby. Arthur sighed and rolled his eyes.

"My mum should be here soon, I told her 5:30 and it is now 5:30."

As if on cue, a horn sounded outside. Alfred growled a little as he pouted up at Arthur.

"Tell her you're sleeping over… I want you to stay with me…please?"

Arthur glared at him.

"No Alfred, I am going to go home with my mother, you will be fine."

"But…" Alfred's gaze shifted away and his cheeks flushed a little bit. "I…Arthur…" He took in a deep breath and looked at the Englishman, his eyes showing that he was suddenly very serious about something. To be honest…it made Arthur feel nervous…

"Alfred don't…" He began.

"No…Arthur….I…" the blush grew. "I love you." Arthur's heart skipped a beat and he looked down at the American, being trapped in that intense gaze. He didn't know what to say. He knew that Alfred had wanted him to be his boyfriend…but he had mostly taken that as a joke…did he really _feel_ that way for the American…

Arthur took a deep breath as he looked away, trying to put his thoughts together…sure, he cared for the boy…but did he love him? Like that…?

…

No….he just…it was a different kind of love…like, a father towards his son or something like that. It wasn't the kind of love that Alfred was looking for…

"I…" He turned back to see the hope leaving of the American's eyes. Did he know what Arthur's decision was already?

"You…don't have to answer now…" His voice cracked.

"Alfred, I'm sorry…"

"No…" the tears began to flow again, and Alfred put his head back on his knees and his body began to shake. There…was really nothing that Arthur could do…But he truly hated seeing the American look so…broken…

The horn beeped again, more impatiently this time...Arthur's phone began to buzz in his pocket.

"I…you're probably just confused Alfred, there is a lot going on in your life right now…I'll see you tomorrow okay…?" for a moment he thought to place a hand on the crying teen's head, to try to comfort him somehow…but…not knowing what to do, Arthur simply walked out of the room.

He felt like a horrible person, but…it was better to tell the truth than to lie to him.

* * *

Matthew awoke in a cold sweat, his throat raw from the scream he had let out. Again…He had another nightmare…The blond clutched at his hair as he drew his legs up to his trembling body.

_Are they ever going to leave me alone…?_

Matthew let out a deep sigh as he heard a knocking on his door.

"…Y-Yes?"

"Matthew, are you alright?" It was Francis. He had probably heard Matthew's scream.

"Yeah, just a nightmare. I'll be fine…"

"Okay…"

Matthew wished he could invite him in and have him comfort him like he had done since he was a child. Back when the nightmares used to come every night, making his tiny body tremble. Francis was always there for him…but now…it was his fault that the nightmares had started up again. But this time it was the Frenchman that he saw alongside his father, sneering and touching him. And then…they would end up in pools of red velvet…

The Canadian placed his head back down on the pillow and tried to steady his heart beat with deep breaths. But thoughts kept coming into his head. He tried to think of something pleasant…soothing…

The song from the music room began to play in his head. It truly was a beautiful song…Roderick had written it for Elizaveta… a teacher…and a student…That wasn't legal was it? Though Elizaveta was younger, in her early twenties at most, and Roderick was in his senior year. So it wasn't like it was a disgusting age difference…but…

Roderick was dating Gilbert…

Wasn't he?

Yes, Matthew suddenly felt bad about what he had witnessed. He should tell Gilbert that Roderick was cheating on him…but…Gilbert didn't seem to like him too much…but still, he should know. But…what if he told about Elizaveta? Matthew didn't think it was right, but they _did_ seem to love eachother, and Matthew didn't have anything against the teacher…but she would surely lose her job if the staff were found out…

Matthew would have to make Gilbert promise not to tell anyone about her. But he would be mad…but…he had the right to know…

_I'll tell him tomorrow_..._but I've got to go to bed…_

Matthew closed his eyes and tried to let himself drift into an at least semi peaceful sleep…

* * *

Matthew stepped onto the bus and noticed that Alfred wasn't on the bus… Was something wrong with him?The Canadian approached the seat where Arthur sat, and sat down next to him.

"Is something wrong with Alfred?" He asked. The Englishman stiffened a little bit and continued looking out the window.

"He's not feeling well..."

"Oh..."

"Yeah..."

Matthew folded his hands in his lap and bit his lip. Why did this feel so awkward...?

The rest of the bus ride continued in silence.

* * *

Arthur and Matthew walked into the school in silence. They were approached by Antonio and gilbert who were both grinning stupidly and trying to stifle giggles.

"What?" Arthur snapped.

"Nothing~" Antonio chuckled. Matthew's eyes drifted over to Gilbert and he bit his lip. The guilt built in him. he should tell him...but it wasn't really his business...maybe he could tell him that he needed to talk to Roderick...but...it was important that the albino found out somehow...

"What?" An annoyed looked had passed over his face as his red eyes locked onto Matthew.

"Gil...can we...talk...?" Matthew stumbled over his words.

"If you're planning on confessing, I've already got someone who i love~ sorry~" Blush bloomed on the Canadian's face and he looked away.

"Yeah...It...about that..."

"Wait you actually were going to-"

"No!..." Matthew bit his lip again. really it was a horrible habit of his.

"Then what..."

"We'll talk at lunch okay...?"

"What is it about?"

"...Roderick..." Matthew whispered.

"What?" Those ruby eyes narrowed.

"Lunch." Matthew back away, suddenly nervous."We'll talk about it at lunch..."

"No." Gilbert growled, grabbing ahold of Matthew's wrist and beginning to drag him away. "We'll talk now."

* * *

Yay! another chapter~ haha i hope you guys liked it! thankyou for all for the reviews they really brighten my day! see you all next week, don't forget to review or i'll be sad~!


	10. Promise!

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Hetalia.

Ugh….I hate being sick….so much, but what do I still do when sick? Write for you guys~ haha thankyou so much to everyone who reviews! / I really do appreciate it! Here is an early chapter for you guys~!

* * *

Alfred sat in bed, empty. Hollow. If there was a purpose to life anymore…he didn't know what it was. Everything just seemed so wrong. Sleep last night had been terrible, if it even came… With a sigh, the American rolled his cell phone over in his palm again.

_What am I expecting?_ He thought bitterly. _For Arthur to text me and say that he is sorry? But what does he even have to apologize for? It's not his fault that…that I love him… and that he… Damnit! _Alfred dropped the phone next to him and threw his head down to the pillow to stifle a scream. This sucked! Really, at least Alfred wanted him to text him something that would signify that things would go back to normal, that everything was alright. Something like:

[_Why aren't you going to school today, you twit_]

Yeah...That would be nice...But that would never happen. Arthur knew why Alfred wasn't going to school today because he was part of the reason. Some of Alfred hoped that he felt bad about it and would think more about how he actually felt about him, but Alfred knew the Englishman _had_ thought about it and… he just didn't feel the same way. The American knew he would have to accept that fact.

"Alfred?" Mom was at the door, knocking to see if she could come in. In that moment Alfred just wanted to be a little kid again so that he could just curl up in her arms and believe all she told him about how everything would be okay. He couldn't do that now though, he was far too big.

"Yeah mom?" He sat up again and watched as his doorknob turned.

"Are you feeling alright sweetie? You missed you bus…" Her concern was clearly visible on her face. Her emotions always so easy to read…Matthew too…There was a sharp pain in Alfred's chest as he thought of his long lost twin. At first…it had been awesome. Alfred had always wanted a twin. But… This wasn't some kind of movie, serious things had happened to the other teen. It made Alfred feel horrible. Really horrible, that because mom had chosen to take him Matthew had to stay with their father-that bastard of a man- and go through such an awful childhood.

"I don't feel very well…" He murmured, trying to play up the cute American 'mommy I'm sick, let me stay home' factor. The woman's brow scrunched and she began walking towards Alfred. She was going to put her hand on his forehead…Would she still make him go to school even if she found out that he didn't have a fever, that he wasn't actually physically sick…? Her cool hands touched his cheeks and forehead.

"You don't feel very hot to me…" She made a face. "You want to stay home?" Alfred nodded sheepishly. "You know, if there is something bothering you, you can tell me." And Alfred did wish that he could tell her everything…But he couldn't. He couldn't just be like. '_Well I told Arthur I loved him and got rejected_' because first off, she didn't know he felt that way towards men and second she wouldn't accept it as an excuse for staying home. And then he couldn't tell her that he felt bad about Mattie because then _she_ would feel bad, because honestly…It was more her fault than anyone's.

"It's alright mom, I'm just feeling a bit drained, what with everything going on." That was all he would give her and she knew it, so she smiled at him, kissed his forehead and left his room after saying.

"Alright sweetie…"

Alfred sighed and lay back down on his bed, looking up at the ceiling and letting out a deep sigh. Things will get better…eventually…

* * *

Gilbert pulled Matthew down the hallway, his grip on the Canadian's wrist tight. Tight enough to actually hurt the teen… Matthew could feel the emotions rolling off of the other man as he thought of all of the things that Matthew could tell him about the Austrian.

"G-Gil!" Matthew cried when his grip got even tighter as they rounded a corner. Suddenly they were in the stairwell, everyone had gone to their classes…. As he should be… But he was going to tell Gilbert something that he didn't even have the right to tell him… Right….?

The Canadian was snapped out of his thoughts when he was suddenly slammed into a wall. The breath came out of him in a huff, his vision blurring for a moment before his eyes locked onto the Albino. Those blazing ruby eyes seeming to burn into Matthew's indigo.

"Owch!" Matthew touched his hand to his head where he was sure a bump would form later. Ow….The albino's eyes widened slightly and he took a step back, shoving his fists into his pocket.

"What do you want?" Gilbert growled, not meeting Matthew's gaze. Slowly Matthew leaned into the wall, drawing in a deep breath.

"Roderick…" The Canadian swallowed as the others blazing eyes came up again, filled with intense emotions at the mention of his boyfriend's name.

"What about him?" It seemed like he was trying to play this with an attitude that said he didn't really care and just wanted to get it over with, but Matthew could tell that he was nervous about it, that maybe he was anticipating what Matthew was going to say.

"You have to promise that you won't tell anyone."

"Tell me what it is first and maybe I will."

Matthew shook his head slowly with a sigh. Maybe this _was_ a bad choice…but there was really no going back now… and honestly…Gilbert was scaring him…

"No… That's not how it works…."

"I'll _show_ you how it works!" Gilbert began to take a step forward but then seemed to think better of it, and instead took a deep breath as he tried to calm himself.

"Promise?"

There was a short silence.

"Yes."

Matthew drew in a deep breath. He had never done anything like this before…he didn't even know how to begin to tell Gilbert…

"I was walking down the halls during lunch…" Matthew began, watching the other with a careful eye. "And I heard a beautiful song being played on the piano. It was…the most amazing song I had ever heard… so full of emotions." Matthew could hear the dreamlike quality to his voice, Gilbert had also noticed it and was now glaring at him.

"You're not going to tell me that you fell in love with him are you?" He growled. Matthew furiously shook his head.

"No, no…. But that song…" He trailed off, trying to think of how to phrase this next part…

"Yeah, what about it? Roderick is a f*ckin amazing piano player I know that. Go on with the damn story, unless that's it." Matthew shook his head, bringing his eyes up to meet the other teens.

"No…That's not it…Roderick…he wrote this song…"

"Okay, he writes things and they're amazing. I. know." Gilbert was beginning to grow irritable.

"He wrote it for the person he loves." Matthew paused, watching the other's reaction before continuing. "The _woman_ he loves…"

"Are you trying to say that he's _cheating_ on me?" Gilbert snorted.

"...Gil...He is...he...kissed her. i'm sorry..."

Gilberts fists came out of his pocket and a growl escaped from his throat as his blazing eyes tried to burn through Matthew. Emotions swirled through the ruby orbs. Desperate that Matthew was lying about this, angry that Roderick was cheating on him, hurt that the one he loved didn't love his back and had been leading him on, angry again for allowing himself to fall in love with the Austrian, broken, and then angry again. Angry at Matthew for telling him, sad, and then jealous.

"Who's the bitch?" He growled his voice on the verge of cracking with emotion.

"You need to promise not to tell anyone."

"Who. Is. The. Bitch." Gilbert demanded, grinding his teeth together.

"Promise you wont tell!"

Matthew trembled, wishing that he could just disappear into the wall behind him. Gilbert stepped towards him, knotting his fist into the front of Matthew's shirt. Matthew flinched, trying to fight back the panic that was rising in him.

"Fuck that. You'll tell me." Matthew was one again shoved into the wall, raised to his tiptoes by a strength that he didn't know the albino had. "And I'll tell everyone who the fucking boyfriend stealing _bitch_ is!"

_I shouldn't have told him…I shouldn't have told him…I'm scared…_

"N-no…" Matthew's voice broke. "It would ruin everything for her. You can't be that way… It's… I know that you're hurt… but… pl-please?"

Gilbert was still glaring at him, his whole body shaking as he held Matthew up against the wall. Matthew was terrified. Absolutely terrified of the Albino right now… Even though he looked so angry there was still the pain.

"Fuck!" Gilbert's yell echoed through the stairwell. "I won't fucking tell okay? I…I promise! Just… tell her name…" he began to lower Matthew down on the wall, uncurling his fist from the Canadian's shirt. "I at least have the right to know it…" Matthew paused, looking at the heartbroken teenager in front of him… It was better that he found out now right…? Maybe Matthew had done the wrong thing…

"You should talk to Roderick about—" Gilbert looked at him again, the intensity in his eyes making the Canadian shudder.

"Please…I just want to know her name…" His eyes shifted downwards, his shoulders beginning to shake "I won't tell anyone…I swear…I swear on my awesomeness." Despite the absurdity of that comment Matthew knew that he was being completely serious.

"Elizaveta…." Matthew whispered, half of him hoping that Gilbert wouldn't hear him… But he did and his eyes once again snapped to Matthew's.

"The fucking _teacher_?" He growled. Matthew nodded. "What the _HELL_?" Matthews eyes widened as the albino's fist slammed into the wall right next to his face. "AGH!" There were tears in Gilberts eyes and Matthew had the strangest urge to hug the other teen. He just looked so broken…

_People must go through things like this a lot…_

"Love SUCKS!" Gilbert's knees gave out under him and he fell to the ground, his whole body shaking with silent sobs.

"I know…" Matthew just stood there looking down at him. "It really does…"

Seeming to sense something in the Canadian's words Gilbert looked up at him.

"But it gets better." His voice shook. "It always gets better. It doesn't suck forever, and when you find it…it makes you really happy…really…happy…" The Prussian began to rock. Matthew crouched down beside him and placed a hand in his soft white hair.

_Much softer than I thought it would be…_ Matthew thought as he did something he never thought that he would do…

He actually pulled Gilbert closer to him, wrapping his arms around the crying teen that in turn began to sob harder as he hugged him back. Matthew wanted to tell him that it was okay, that this wasn't the worst thing that would ever happen to him…Matthew knew that worse things could have happened to him… But…he kept that to himself. He felt that any words he said would just make things worse than they already were…

"Gil…" Matthew murmured, running a hand though the soft white hair again. "We should go to class…"

"But…" Gilbert looked up at him with the eyes of a child, pleading with his mother to not put his favorite dog down… "I don't want to go to _her_ class…" Elizaveta was the first class they had… it was true…But they needed to go to class didn't they?

"We can't just skip…"

The albino hugged him tighter.

"Yes we can…" He mumbled.

Matthew sighed. He had never skipped a class before and he didn't really want to start.

"Then let's go to the guidance councilor. Okay?"

Gilbert again shook his head into Matthew's chest.

"I don't wanna."

The thought of the person who had just scared Matthew horribly now sobbing in his arms was odd. Who would have thought that the Prussian could be like this…? He seemed so vulnerable…The Canadian wondered if he would ever see him like this again? The thought almost seemed—

Wait….What was he thinking….? Matthew sighed and continued to stroke the other teen's hair, twirling it around his fingers before letting it go and repeating the process.

"Well where can we go?"

"I dunwanna move…" His words were muffled by Matthew's shoulder.

"Btu we can't stay here…"

"Mnnn…You smell like maple syrup…." Gilbert said dreamily. Was he falling asleep?

"Gil?"

"Mnnn."

Again Matthew sighed and leaned back against the wall. It wasn't a good idea to sleep here, once the classes ended people would be coming down the stairwell… they would have to move before then… The Prussians shaking stopped, and his breath began to even out and Matthew just sat there, running his fingers though his hair. He'd never skipped a class before…but he guessed it was alright to miss at least one…

* * *

Arthur felt bad about what had happened with Alfred last night. Really…he felt horrible…but feeling…that's what got him into this mess… He didn't _feel_ the right way… About Alfred. Really it had been quite shocking when the American boy had actually claimed that he loved Arthur…. They had been friends for a while now… but Arthur just…he didn't feel that way…

Maybe he didn't feel that way towards men in general… But…He wasn't attracted to women either…

Maybe he just didn't have those kinds of feelings…

But that was part of being human. And he _was_ human.

Hopefully Alfred wasn't feeling too down…Maybe just one text…

Arthur looked at his phone, sliding it open and beginning to write a message.

[_Why aren't you in school today, you twit?_]

Even though he knew that he was the answer he couldn't think of anything else to text the other man. He was just about to click send when-

"Arthur are you texting?" The red headed history teacher was looking at him with a pout on his face. Arthur sighed and shut the phone.

"Sorry Mr. Fili…"

"I'm sorry but I'm going to have to take your phone for the day." What? Arthur stared at the Italian. When had be started this? "Ludwig told me that I needed to start being more strict…and I really can't have you texting in school….but I'll give it back to you….I promise!" For some reason the teacher seemed to be shrinking back. Was Arthur glaring at him or something? He did that sometimes…looked like he was glaring when really… he wasn't making an expression at all… Fili put his hand out nervously, waiting for Arthur to put the phone in it. for a moment Arthur contemplated not giving the teacher his phone, but…That wouldn't be respectful.

With a sigh Arthur brought his phone up and placed it in the teacher's hand, receiving an "Oooooo" from some of the students in the class. Really, they were seniors but they acted like children… Happy with himself Fili skipped back up to the front of class and continued his lecture.

* * *

As class ended there was a sound in the hallway. Nervously Matthew began to shake the sleeping Prussian.

"Gil! Gil! Wake up!" He hissed, moving away from the albino and standing up. As Gilbert hit the cold floor he began to stir, sitting up and rubbing at his eyes.

"What time is it…?" He yawned, stretching his arms out.

"Time for the next class." Matthew pulled at him arm as some students began to walk down the stairs and noise flooded the hall.

"Right…" Gilbert stood up and yawned again. "Next class…"

The two of them pulled up their bags from the ground and began to exit the stairwells just as students began flooding through. They continued to walk until they got to the hall where they would split up and go to different classes.

"Mattie," Gilbert's face seemed to flush a little.

"Hm?"

"Th—"

"Gilbert, Matthew, where were you two during class today?" Matthew nearly jumped out of his skin when he heard the female voice behind him. Instead of looking at the teacher, Matthew's eyes shot to Gilbert who looked as if he had been struck by a whip.

"S-Sorry Elizaveta…" Matthew began, turning to look at the teacher. "I was in the library with Gilbert asking him some questions about what we did in class when I wasn't there and then I asked him for help with the homework you had assigned us… I wasn't feeling too well, sad I guess because of my dad… And I needed some help focusing and understanding stuff…I guess we just lost track of time…"

Her features had begun to soften at the mention of his dad, pity taking over. It seemed they would let them get away with this one.

"Okay," She began, looking at the two of them. "But don't do that again okay Matthew? Gilbert?"

"Yes M'am." Matthew said, throwing in a sad smile. Gilbert simply nodded, not looking at her.

"Alright well off to class the two of you." She sighed and began to walk away. Gilbert took in a deep breath. Had he been holding his breath while she was there?

"See you Gil…" Matthew began, turning to walk away.

"Hey, Mattie." He looked over his shoulder at Gilbert.

"Yeah?"

"Like I tried to say before _she_ came over, Thank you…for telling me about them."

Matthew smiled.

"You're welcome."

* * *

Alright! finally 10 chapters and we are beginning to see the blooming of a relationship! yay~! hahaha sorry if this chapter wasn't as good as you'd hoped...i've been feeling like sh*t...*sigh* but yeah! review for more~ why don't we shoot for 10 more? then i promise i will upload a new chapter Tuesday as well~;b


	11. One, Two, SEVEN!

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Hetalia.**

**M'kay, thankyou you guys for the many reviews! This chapter would have been up sooner, but… I had rehearsals…and homework is a b*tch… I still owe you all another chapter! So here we go~**

* * *

He stared up at the building he had just exited. Yes… It was nice enough… The thought filled him with an overwhelming sadness, even though… he had chosen this. Being home wasn't an option anymore, and he knew that it wasn't because he had screwed up…this…this was how he would at least attempt to fix it.

* * *

Arthur sighed and packed his notebook into his backpack. Class was always so boring. He already knew all of the history that was being taught, the fact that he had to be in the class just wasting his time was annoying. Fili had taken his phone too…Now he couldn't even contact Alfred… Even though class was over, he couldn't get it. he had to wait until the end of the day. With the huff Arthur began to leave.

On his way out of the classroom Arthur felt an unusually cold hand fall onto his shoulder.

"Arthur." The Russian said in a voice coating with accent and…something else…

The Englishman turned around to face Ivan, a shiver rolling down his spine. He really did have a way of scaring Arthur… Well it wasn't like he was actually scared but more of a… his emerald eyes widened as they met the harsh violet eyes of the Russian male. Oh f*ck, who was he kidding? Ivan scared the shit out of him… A faded pink scarf was around the Russian's neck, it never seemed to leave the tall teenager.

Arthur opened his mouth to find that it had gone dry. Was he really that nervous? Why… was Ivan glaring at him like that? And he wasn't smiling…Ivan always was smiling that creepy grin of his, to see him without it…it just made him even more terrifying of a sight. Arthur closed his mouth and swallowed, trying once again to bring his voice out so that he could answer the Russian.

"Yes?" Arthur was pleased that there was no sign of his fear in his voice as he looked evenly up at Ivan.

"Why is Alfred not here today?"

Arthur's face fell a bit at the mention of the teen's name… him…Arthur was the reason that Alfred was not there today…but… he found it odd… why would Ivan be asking about him?

"I don't know." He lied.

"Nyet. Do not lie to me little Arthur. Why?" If it had been anyone else calling him little, Arthur would have gotten pissed. Really pissed. But since this was Ivan who could-you know, bash his head into the wall and split in into a million pieces very simply… Arthur decided that he would let him off the hook… Arthur once again looked away from those scary violet eyes.

"Why do you care?" The Russian snorted.

"He is Alfred, why wouldn't I care?" Arthur shook his head with a sigh, so Ivan was concerned about Alfred…the thought was somewhat scary. Didn't the two of them hate eachother?

"Well I don't know why he isn't here. He has a lot of things going on in his life right now, maybe he needed a day of rest…" Ivan's eyes seemed to focus, and he moved closer to Arthur, making the Englishman take a step backwards.

"What is wrong with him?"

Arthur fought the urge to say something snide about Alfred to the Russian, but he thought better of it.

"Stuff, I don't know what else to tell you." For a moment those icy purple eyes searched Arthur's.

"Does it have to do with that Matvey?" Arthur blinked and then sighed. Ivan had guessed half of it. But considering the protective aura that the Russian was giving off, he didn't want to let him guess the second half.

"I'm sorry I can't tell you anything… if you want to know, go and talk to Alfred. Honestly Ivan, I didn't know that you two even got along." Ivan let out a low huff and began moving past Arthur. As he walked away Ivan turned and smirked at the Englishman, a devious look in his eyes telling a story which Arthur could not read.

"We don't" And with that he continued down the hall, walking to his next class.

* * *

Matthew shuddered as he felt the cold of the room on his bare skin. He hated gym. Hated having to change into gym clothes in front of a group of people. Surely he still had those disgusting marks all over his body… it seemed like they were never going to leave him…like permanent tattoos to remind him of ever painful moments.

_Francis_…

Matthew quickly pulled the baggy gym shirt over his head and reached for his shorts.

"Hey, Mattie—" Gilbert walked in, causing Matthew to freeze.

"Sorry man…didn't realize you were still changing into your clothes….you know…gym starts in like…" he looked at his wrist, pretending that there was a watch there. "Now." A smirk passed over his face and Matthew found himself becoming less tense, he grabbed his gym shorts and put them on as Gilbert leaned up against the wall. "You know…you could have changed with the rest of us… at the same time…" He gave Matthew a once over, his smirk growing. "Are you nervous about your body~ awww~self conscious because little Mattie is seventeen and yet his body still hasn't grown~" He teased playfully a look coming into his eyes as he moved closer to Matthew.

"Gil…" Matthew began to back away, scared of that look.

"Little Mattie~" Gilbert sang, suddenly his hands reached out and he lifted Matthew's shirt, beginning to move his fingers around, tickling the Canadian. Matthew laughed, surprised by how ticklish he was. He seldom let people touch him…had he ever even been tickled before?

The memory came back to him…

_Little Matthew climbed up onto the chair with his father who looked as if he had just settled into the chair himself. _

"_Papa~" He nuzzled against the older man's neck, causing his father to chuckle. Matthew must have been around four at this time. These times….they were the happy ones…_ _Matthew had just come home from the park, being dropped off by his baby sitter._

"_My darling boy~" His father said warmly, smiling at him. "Have you been being a good boy?" Little Matthew nodded, his chubby face dimpled by his adorable grin, indigo eyes glowing. "You have?" _

"_Yup!" _

"_Do you know who loves good little boys?" Again the playful tone in his father's voice made the boy smile._

"_Who papa?" _

"_Thhheee tickle monster!" with a playful growl papa began to tickle him and the child erupted with giggles as he squirmed around under wiggling fingers._

"Gil S-Stop!" Through his giggles Matthew tried to be serious. He wanted Gilbert to stop tickling him… Wanted him to stop touching him… Gilbert was laughing himself as he continued to tickle Matthew, caught up in the act of doing so. The two of them were on the floor. Matthew's shirt had been lifted to his chest from the tickling. "Stop!" Matthew laughed again.

And Gilbert did stop…his eyes wide and fixed on Matthew's stomach.

"What…"

Matthew's face went white, Gilbert must be staring at the ghosts of the hickeys left of his pale skin only two nights ago. Quickly, Matthew moved away from Gilbert, standing up and pulling his shirt back down.

"We're going to be late for gym." His voice sounded strange to even him.

* * *

Gilbert stood up, questions racing through his mind. Were those _hickeys _on Matthew's chest? Tons of them, trailing down… they looked fairly recent too….but Matthew wasn't seeing anybody… At least, not that Gilbert knew about. Wait, there had been one on his near his collar bone yesterday… the thought of anyone being with Matthew was just….he didn't know…weird…

The Canadian had already exited the locker room and had gone to gym class. They were probably late….Why the hell had Gilbert started tickling him…? Where did that urge even come from?

With a heavy sign Gilbert stood up and walked out of the locker room. Gym class would be good, it would distract him from all of the crap that was going on. The thought of Roderick cheating on him…with a teacher…It was painful. He thought that the Austrian had loved him. But…

_I guess I was just be in love with him…_

Stupid one sided loves. They were really annoying, totally not awesome. At all. But Gilbert was still awesome. Fuck, he was the _king_ of awesomeness! It was Roderick who was not awesome. That was it. As the Prussian continued to try to make himself feel better he felt cold eyes on him as he entered the gym.

"Gilbert."

_Ughhhhhhhhh_

"Yeah dad?" He smirked, knowing that his father hated being called 'dad' while he was working. The big German man was glaring at him through icy blue eyes, his pale blond hair slicked back perfectly. It was funny how different Gilbert was from him. He was albino, his powdery hair always messy because he didn't bother to brush it or do anything with it in the morning time. And basically, he was just a ton more awesome than his father.

"Arrive to class in a timely manner." Gilbert smirked, almost mocking the words his father said, but thinking better of it and just smirking at the German.

"Yup, so what're we playing today?" His father continued to glare at him before moving his stony gaze to the rest of the class. Gilbert almost smiled when he saw Matthew retreat a little bit. He was pretty cute wasn't he? And the way he seemed to be lost in the big shirt…

_What the fuck am I thinking?_

Gilbert shook his head, trying to clear it, and turned back to see his father had begun talking.

"Today we will be playing dodge ball. The rules are simple. You must avoid being hit, if you _are_ hit then you are out." The teenagers began to get excited, the boys cheering for the game, letting out woots, the girl giggling and shuffling around excitedly. Dodge ball was always fun. Gilbert grinned, and because he was totally awesome, that meant that he was awesome at the sport. Pfft he was awesome at _all_ sports. Because you know what? He was the KING of awesomeness!

"You will be divided into teams. Count off."

The students began to count as Ludwig pointed to them.

"One."

"Two."

"One."

"Two."

"Seven." And again Ludwig was glaring at Gilbert who rolled his eyes. "Fine, One."

"Two."

And so it continued until everyone had their numbers, and were on separate sides of the gym. Ludwig walked over to the bin of balls and sending the spheres bouncing and rolling around the room.

_Let the war begin_.

Gilbert picked up one of the balls that had been rolling near him and as his father blew the whistle he threw it.

Instantly someone was out. Gilbert grinned. It was because he was awesome.

* * *

Matthew ducked out of the way as the balls were flung at him. He hated this game…couldn't they have playing something nice and fun? Like…Floor hockey? That would have been nice, and much less brutal… and he would have actually been able to play instead of frantically dodging flying balls.

"HaHA!" On the other side of the gym Matthew saw Gilbert had the ball raised with an insane look in his eyes, but he was smiling and appeared to be having fu— Matthew moved away again, and heard another one of his team makes get hit. Their numbers were going down swiftly… Another ball flew towards him and Matthew reached up, catching it in his hand.

"Out." Ludwig barked at the boy who had thrown it. Matthew received a dirty look from the kid before he went and sat down with the other players who had been hit.

Quickly Matthew used the ball he held to try to get another player out. He threw and it hit the side of a girl who was just about to throw a ball herself. The smile fell from her face and she dropped the ball, walking to the bench. It was amazing how simple this game was! Matthew grinned, maybe he had a chance at winning.

* * *

Gilbert stared across from him at Matthew, the two of them each held a ball in their hands, ready to get the other out. Really, the Prussian hadn't expected Matthew to get this far. He must be pretty awesome too, but not awesome enough. He wouldn't be able to win against the _king_ of awesome.

Gilbert whipped the ball at the Canadian and watched as the blond swiftly ducked out of the way. He was fast… Gilbert kept his eyes on him as he scooped up another ball.

"Gil~" Mattie smirked. Gilbert blinked as the ball hit him. Where the _fuck_ had _that_ come from? When had he thrown the ball?

"OUT."

"No! rematch!" Gilbert glared at Matthew. No _WAY_ was his awesomeness being challenged by the Canadian.

"No, go hit the showers." He announced to the class.

"Dad, people don't take showers after gym anymore…." Ludwig sighed.

"Just go get changed, class is over." Everyone began to leave.

"Hey Gil…" Matthew walked over to him.

"What?" He noticed the other teen flinch a little. Was he being too harsh? Damnit…sore losers were _not_ awesome…

"No hard feelings eh?" Gilbert blinked and then sighed.

"It was just beginner's luck. You won't get away so easily next time." Matthew nodded with a slight smile playing on his lips.

"I'll take your word for it."

"Yeah, be prepared for my awesomeness!" Gilbert laughed, making Matthew blink and give a sort of half smile. "C'mon Mattie, let's go get changed."

* * *

"Yeah, I heard that he was **raped**."

"So that's what the incident was about yesterday?"

"Yeah, that French guy."

The talking had begun nearly as soon as Matthew had exited the locker room. Gilbert couldn't help but overhear the gossip.

_Raped?_

Gilbert thought back to the hickies that he had seen dotting Matthew's stomach. The one from yesterday that Alfred had said wasn't from him. The fact that Matthew had been over Alfred's house that night, and had come to school in his clothes… The way Matthew's voice had sounded when he had talked about love…

_Oh god…_

* * *

Matthew walked into his house feeling empty. They knew…He had heard them talking when he left the locker room…the rumor spreading like wildfire… They knew… It was all over now. He would become an outcast….

Matthew moved towards the kitchen, because maybe eating something would help fill the empty feeling… Maybe… He reached for an apple from the bowl on the counter.

_Surely Gilbert heard them…_ he thought sadly. _Will he…not want to be my friend anymore…_ Gilbert was one of the first people Matthew had ever considered a friend… He didn't want him to move away from him now because of this.

Was there anything he could say to convince them all it was just a rumor?

He truly hoped that there was…

Matthew took a bite of his apple and chewed it, looking down at the newspaper that lay open on the table. He remembered Francis had been looking at the newspaper this morning… It was open to the classifieds with things circled and highlighted.

Matthew looked closer and realized that it was houses. Francis had been looking at houses… looking _for_ a house…

He was…

Going to move out…?

The thought saddened Matthew a lot, despite everything he had done… Matthew…He loved his big brother…He loved Francis….He didn't want him to leave the house…

"Francis?" Matthew called out.

There was no response.

"FRANCIS?" Matthew tried again, louder this time… there was still no response. No one was home…it was just him…alone… Not hungry anymore, Matthew put his apple down and walked towards his room. He sat down on his bed and curled himself into a ball. The Frenchman had tried so hard to apologize…he really hadn't meant to hurt Matthew…"Francis…"

* * *

**Yup, so sorry that this is so late!/ I hope that you enjoyed it! review! Reviews make me happy and I promise I will write another new chapter soon. Also, the person who gives the 100th review will get a gift fanfiction from me! Anything you want~ So don't be shy to tell me what you think, how do you feel about Francis? What do you want to happen next chapter? Honestly I take everything you guys say into consideration for my chapters! How about Gil and Mattie's relationship eh~? How long shall I make you wait for the oh-so-very-fun stuff I have for them~? Haha review and happy vacation! See you soon~**


	12. I Have Nothing To Tell You

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Hetalia.

* * *

Matthew was awoken by the sounds of the door being opened. Quickly he got out of bed, rushing from his room.

"Francis?" He stared at the figure that stood in the doorway with a sadness coming over him.

It…wasn't Francis…

"Sorry sweetie," His mother walked towards him and put a cool hand on the side of his face. Matthew tired to bite back the urge to pull away. It was just his mother…Though she stank of cigarette smoke… as far as he knew she wasn't a smoker.

"Where've you been mom?" He began, trying to move away and sit on the couch.

"I could ask you the same question? Where did you go the other night?" Her voice was icy.

"I…" He bit his lip. There was no way that he could tell her what actually happened…no way in HELL could he tell her that Francis had nearly raped him, and then Alfred had come and saved him and he'd gone to his house where he had met his real mother… no way could he tell her that…

"You what? I came home and found that you were missing. Do you know how worried I way Matthieu? After your father…" The tears were welling in her eyes. Losing father must have been hard on her…She really did love him…and he loved her. His death…It was truly unsuspected…

"Sorry mom…" Matthew looked away from her, trying to think of something. Anything to get out of this conversation. After all of the years spent with her he knew that she wouldn't drop it.

"Where is Francis?"

"…I don't know…" He found himself thinking back to the newpaper on the table.

Francis…he was moving out.

* * *

AGH! Why. Couldn't. He. Fall. ASLEEP?

Alfred had tried everything that he could think of to help him fall asleep. Counting sheep… meditating… pfft like that worked. He just couldn't keep his mind on one thing. It kept going back to Arthur. What a dick… how could he just turn him down like that? It was NOT cool…and while Alfred was feeling so horrible too… That was it. The stupid bushy-browed-brit was heartless. Absolutely heartless. Horribly…. Alfred hugged his pillow closer to himself and tried to stop his body from shaking. It wasn't fair…His life had been going great…and then…everything changed. Mattie had come into it…

But it wasn't like he ruined his life!

….

He was his twin brother…He couldn't hate him…

"Sweetie…" Alfred looked up to see his mother standing in the doorway. What time was it? Alfred looked at his cell phone. 10:00… She didn't usually come into his room at this time, but Alfred found himself thankful for her presence.

"Yeah mom?"

"Your friend is here…He wants to talk to you." Alfred's heart almost leapt out of his throat. Arthur was here? What did he want? Was he going to make up with Alfred? At least go back to the way that they used to be! If not better…. But that was still a far away hope and…it was best not to get his hopes up.

"Let him in." Alfred tried not to sound too excited as his mother waved the visitor in.

"Hello Alfred."

Alfred froze. What the hell was HE doing here?

Smirking, the Russian entered the room, his icy violet eyes locked intensely on Alfred's. The American simply glared at him as his mother excused herself. What right did Ivan have to be in his room, or even come to his house!

"What do you want commie bastard?" Ivan sighed and walked over to the bed, sitting down- much to the Americans dismay.

"I am not a communist Alfred."

"Are too!"

"No… Not all Russians are communist. Russia is not even a communist country anymore."

"I don't believe you."

"You don't have to. It's a fact. Look it up." Alfred continued to glare at Ivan through painful eyes. He really hoped that the other didn't notice the unusual puffiness of his eyes. He didn't want to have to explain anything to the Russian. He didn't even like Ivan. In fact, he hated him. Wanted him out of his room.

"Whatever…"

"Have you been crying Alfred?" The blond stiffened. Damnit…he really asked it…

"No." Alfred tried to deny it in the most believable way possible. But that didn't seem to work on Ivan.

"Do not lie to me Alfred. You did not go to school today and you are not sick which can only mean that you either skipped because you didn't want to go, or that you are upset over something. I believe it is because you are upset. Your eyes are all puffed up, you haven't left your room, there are tear stains on your face and your cheeks right now are heating. You do realize Alfred that you are a very easy book to read. Now, what is the matter?"

"…Why are you here?"

"Because I can be, now answer."

Alfred glared at him.

"I don't have to tell you anything."

"no, you do not, but seeing as I came all the way here I have no intention of leaving until you tell me what is wrong so that you can go back to being happy." The American didn't quite get what Ivan was saying to him….

"How is telling you going to make me feel better?"

The Russian shrugged.

"Well, the television said that if you talk about your feelings it will help you feel better?" the thought of Ivan sitting and watching T.V and actually believing what it was saying was kind of funny.

"What kind of stupid shows are you watching?" Ivan shrugged.

"It does not matter. I believe that talking about it will help you. It has to do with Matthew correct?" Ivan continued to stare at him, his violet eyes seeming to see right through Alfred, into his soul. "But that's not all. You are also upset over something else."

"No, there is nothing else! I want to be alone Ivan!" Alfred growled, clenching his teeth and just praying that the Russian would understand and leave. He was so close to tears right now. It would be nice to have someone to cry to, but… he was a man damnit! And men didn't cry! HEROES didn't cry! Especially not in front of their biggest enemy.

"do you really?"

"AGH! Just shut up and leave me alone! I don't LIKE you Ivan! So I'm not going to tell you anything!"

"Then pretend that I am someone else. Arthur perhaps?" Alfred flinched at the name, imagining the blond hair Englishman beside him. It just made him want to cry more. He wanted to PUT him out of his mind, not bring him back in.

"No Ivan. Just. LEAVE!" His voice cracked awkwardly but be continued to glare at the other teen.

"Arthur did something didn't he?" Instead of moving away from Alfred Ivan just moved closer to him. "Did he hurt you Alfred?"

"NO! Arthur could never hurt me! You know why, because _I _love him."

"And he does not love you back." Ivan stated, his voice cold, sending echoes through the American's mind. Reminding him that no, Arthur did not feel the same way. That he had turned him down coldly.

"Shutup!" Alfred growled.

"Nyet. It is obvious that he does not love you back. He thinks of you as a brother. Nothing more. It was foolish to fall for him in the first place."

"GET OUT!"

"Forget about him Alfred."

"Don't tell me what to do!"

Ivan sighed and placed an unusually cold hand on Alfred's face. Icy violet eyes bore into baby blues, and despite how much the American wanted to move away, he found that he couldn't.

"I want you to be happy again." Ivan's thumb moved in a gentle circle on Alfred's cheek, "Upset does not suit one such as you." For a moment the only thing that Alfred could do was stare at the Russian. His mind just wasn't processing what was going on. Ivan was trying to comfort him? He…didn't want him to be upset?

"Wh…" He blinked as he felt Ivan's breath on his face. When had he gotten that close? An intoxicating aroma was rolling off of the Russian. Slowly, Alfred blinked as gentle lips brushed his.

"Feel better Alfred."

And then Ivan was gone, up and walking towards the door, leaving Alfred in a trancelike state.

* * *

[_We need to talk_]

Gilbert stared incredulously at the message on his phone. Damn right they needed to talk! He couldn't believe that Roderick would even have the balls to send him a message like that. How dare he? It was the famous breakup line. He was going to break up with him! Ugh! That stupid, annoying, useless, NOT AWESOME, prick of an Austrian! AGH! Gilbert took a second to catch his breath before angrily pressing the reply button on his phone.

[_What is it?_]

Suddenly he felt nervous. Damnit! He already knew what the Austrian was going to say…. He was going to break up with him because he was now dating a teacher. Who even knows how long he'd been dating her. Gilbert was probably just someone to use as a way of distracting people from the fact that Roderick was fucking dating a _teacher_. Stupid old cougar!

"Gilbert!" Ludwig called up the steps. Shit…dad…

"Yeah?" It was worth the try. Gilbert really didn't feel like getting up to see what his father wanted. He wasn't in the mood for it. But the silence meant that Ludwig would be waiting for him to come to the top of the steps to see what he wanted. With an exaggerated sigh, Gilbert pulled himself off of his bed and walked out of his room.

When he arrived at the top of the steps he saw his father with Fili wrapped around his arm. Gilbert couldn't help but smile at the bubbly Italian.

"Yeah dad?"

"We're going out. Be good."

"Yup~ We're going on a date~ Be a good boy and we'll bring you something back! An ice cream?"

"Sure." Gilbert smiled. "Bye!"

"Byebye!" Fili smiled brightly and then began to drag the German out the doorway. Gilbert turned back around and walked back towards his room, feeling his phone vibrate in his pocket. His heart was speeding as he pulled out his phone and sat back down on his bed. The message flashed across the screen, demanding to be opened, and Gilbert did open it.

[_Talk to me in school tomorrow._]

Gilberts heart was pounding furiously in his chest, and he sucked in a deep breath.

"Fuck…" The tears were coming. And it wasn't like he was going to try to stop them, there was no one around to see his weakness. And fuck! He was sad! He really, really, loved Roderick… With a sniffle Gilbert got up from his bed and left his room.

He knew what would make him feel better.

A little buzz…

Yeah, that would do it.

* * *

Francis sighed heavily and walked up to the cafe. Something sweet was what he craved and this was where he would find it. It looked like a fairly new place, cakes and chocolates lines up neatly in the window. He would like to work at some place like this. Cooking was one of his many talents. Well…outside of bed. A small smile passed over his face as he entered the cafe.

"Welcome!" He was greeted by a man wearing a white dress shirt with a black bowtie, and black slacks with a black apron tied around his waist, accentuating how small he was. His messy blond hair was slicked back a little bit on one side, giving him a sort of cowlick. Something about him was slightly familiar to the Frenchman. "Are you by yourself tonight?" Francis smirked. With _that_ delightful accent? Not for long~ The waiter's green eyes passed over the Frenchman.

"You're…" His whole façade of the cheerful waiter dropped and he was glaring at Francis. Oh dear….This one seemed to have a fierce side to him~ "Bloody hell." He swore, biting his lip.

"Is there something wrong mon cher~?"

The Englishman seemed to be biting something back. Without the smile on his face his features were less charming, those eyebrows becoming more noticeable on his face. But it wasn't like they ruined his look. Francis was actually pretty sure he was the only person who could ever pull off having caterpillars over his eyes and still looking attractive. Perhaps it was the accent.

"You're Matthew's brother." The words came out as a growl and Francis felt his heart sink with the reminder of what had happened between him and Matthew.

"Yes…"

"Is there something wrong here?" A woman with blonde hair and-well to be polite- a fairly large chest walked over with a pleasant smile. Francis smiled back at her, trying to keep his eyes from wandering over her body, tracing those voluptuous curves… Quickly he turned his eyes back to the English waiter and smiled.

"No…" The British man grumbled.

"Very good, well then, I'll leave you to serve this gentleman here." Francis thought he had heard the other man scoff, but decided that even if he had, he would ignore it. Keeping himself from watching the woman walk away Francis waited for the English waiter-Arthur, his nametag said- to bring him to a seat. With a sigh, Arthur began to talk.

"Please come this way and I'll show you to your seat." He did not sound very thrilled about it…in fact it seemed that he was very resentful towards Francis… It probably had t do with Matthew…did Arthur know Matthew? Well he must if he knew that he was his brother… as Francis sat down he remembered- he had seen Arthur just yesterday, when he had gone to pick Matthew up. "Would you like anything to drink?" He had been the one who had stepped between him and the boy who looked almost exactly like Matthew…The one who had punched him. Arthur went to Matthew's school.

"You…" Francis began, looking up at the English man who made a disgusted pace.

"_Excuse_ me?"

"You know Matthew, is he alright? I mean- does he act fine in school at least…?" Arthur rolled his eyes.

"No thanks to you." He snorted.

"So he's doing okay?"

"I guess…"

"Sit with me. Please?" Francis gave Arthur a pleading look, willing him with his beautiful blue eyes to sit down with him and talk to him. Francis wanted to know about Matthew…He had hurt him really bad and…Now he wouldn't even look at him. That was why Francis decided that it would be best to just move out. That way he wouldn't be able to hurt Matthew ever again. Because he loved him. And that's what you do when you love someone. You protect them so that they don't get hurt even if the one you have to protect them from is yourself.

"I'm not supposed to, and quite frankly I do not want to."

"I'll pay you. The most expensive dish that you have, and I will also buy a cake and split it with you."

"I'm not splitting a cake with you."

"Then I will buy the cake for myself. All else is agreed? Good. Sit?" With a sigh and the roll of his eyes Arthur plopped himself down in the seat, still glaring at Francis.

"You will buy the cake that is the most expensive in addition to the other dish, agreed?"

Francis smiled.

"Agreed."

* * *

"Heyyy RodddricK." Gilbert slurred, holding the phone up to his ear.

"Gilbert? Why are you calling me?"

"You." He squeezed his eyes shut in a blink. "you thought that you had the right to date someone else while you were dating me?"

"what? Gilbert, are you drunk?"

"Donnt act like you don't knowww what I'm talkin 'bout! You are going out with a TEACHER! I know!" He was met with silence on the other end, his drunk mind knowing that he had stunned the stupid Austrian with his awesomeness. Stupid unawesome Roderick…

"We'll discuss this when you're sober Gilbert."

"Nooooo! Do you know how upset you made me? I LOVE you! And this whole time you've been dating HER? Noo! You're such a DICK RoddricK." He took a deep breath in, trying to steady himself.

"…How… did you find out about her?"

"Because I'm awesoomme! And you know who ISNT awesome? YOU! That's right! You're just a stupid unawesome Austrian who likes OLD LADIES! And you know what? I'm OVER you!" and with that he hung up his phone and dropped it, slamming his face down into his pillow and sobbing. STUPID! Roderick was STUPPIDDDD!

But…That didn't mean that he could just break Gilberts heart so easily…

Gilbert curled himself up into a ball on the bed and just cried. And he kept crying until he had cried himself to sleep…

* * *

"So your father had died that night and you went out and got drunk?" Arthur began slowly as all of the things Francis was telling him sunk in.

"Yes…" Francis said softly, staring down at his cake.

"And you've been in love with Matthew for about a year now…." Again Francis nodded, though this time he said nothing.

"And so….you tried to rape him." The English man's voice went cold on that one and he was met with sad blue eyes.

"No. Well yes, but no. I did not know what I was doing… But I couldn't stop myself… I…I feel horrible…"

"Well that's because you _are_ horrible."

Francis sighed and pressed his face into his hands.

"I did not mean to do that. I…wasn't thinking… It… Arthur, I sleep with many people, that is just how I am. It feels good so I do it. But…Matthew…I…I shouldn't have gone home. I shoud have gone to someone else's house. I needed comfort. I needed love. Needed something to take my mind away from the death of my father…And Matthew was there….and when I saw him…I just…" Francis dropped his hands away from his face to reveal that he was now crying. "I didn't mean to…"

"But you still did, and that is unforgiveable."

"I know…"

"But, you didn't actually do anything. You just…left those marks."

"And stripped him…"

Arthur shook his head. "Now you're moving away? Just tearing yourself out of his life? Have you even talked to Matthew about it? Sure he may not want to see you right now. He may be extremely angry with you, scared of you even, but I don't think he never wants to see you again."

"How do you know…?"

"I don't. It's just…a feeling."

Francis shook his head.

"I never want to hurt him again."

"Then at least say goodbye to him. Have you tried to tell him you were sorry?"

"Oui…when I went to the school…and that night…He won't talk to me Arthur…"

"Keep trying. You hurt him pretty badly. And he will probably never want to be alone with you again, but… you should try to at least say you're sorry and tell him why you're leaving."

Francis nodded again, a single tear rolling down his face. Arthur sighed and pulled out a napkin, handing it to him.

"Wipe yourself up. I'll go get your bill. And a to go box for that cake."

Francis nodded and watched Arthur get up.

"Arthur?" the brit turned around. "Thank you…" Arthur rolled his eyes.

"You payed me. I HAD to listen. It's not like I would have chosen it."

A small smile flickered over Francis' face and he nodded.

"Still. Thank you."

"Whatever."

* * *

Ahhhh so busy lately! I'm exhausted! Two children's theater shows a day at the Eric Carle museum and Anime Boston crap… And I came down with another cold. Damn Sarel…. But I'm feeling a little better…though homework is well…there's WAY too much of it. haha I hope you liked this chapter, oh and! The person who gets the Fanfiction, my 100th person who reviewed issss~ MissTrimmm! Yayz~ Hahaa just kidding, did I scare you Yuki Kiichiro? I quite enjoyed your 16 facts about Hetalia! They were very funny! Especially the one about Chuck Norris~ I'm really happy you enjoy the story so much! Just leave me a review with the fanfiction you want, I know America and Canada, but anything specific?


	13. Waking Up

DISCLAIMER: I do not own hetalia.

K! hope you like it!

* * *

Alfred woke up in the morning feeling…better. Much better. It was Friday and he was ready for the weekend. He had resolved last night that he would give up on Arthur and try to clear things up so that they could go back to being friends again. Really…acting like they were total strangers to one another was NOT something Alfred wanted to do. It would just be so…childish. Not that Alfred _wasn't _childish. But…

"Alfred! Are you awake?" His mother called up the stairs.

"Yeah mom." He called back, getting out of his bed and walking over to his dresser. As the American neared the doorway the smell of pancakes wafted up from down stairs and Alfred was reminded of Matthew.

Today he would try to fix things with him as well. Matthew defiantly needed some saving, and God damnit Alfred was a hero!

Slipping his shirt over his head, he wondered what he could do to get closer to his Canadian twin brother.

* * *

Matthew woke up in the morning with a slight hollowness inside of him. It had been a while since he had last felt this…vacant. Detached. He didn't feel like doing anything today. He didn't even want to go to school, but…he had to go to school, if he didn't it wouldn't be good for his record. But if he said he was sick— No…Mom wouldn't buy it.

With a heavy sigh, Matthew swung his legs over the bed and got out of it, letting the covers fall behind him.

At least it was Friday, and at least he would have the whole weekend to himself without having to deal with anyone else. For some reason the thought of Alfred came to mind, especially him- Matthew didn't want to see Alfred at all.

* * *

Francis awoke with his heart pounding nervously in his chest. He hadn't actually been sleeping, more like resting and thinking of what to do about Matthew.

To tell, or not to tell, that was the question.

Tell Matthew of all of the feelings that he had been harboring for him the past year, and that he really was sorry about what he had done that night, and that he was going to move out but if Matthew ever wanted to, he could visit him.

They were all nice thoughts and if he willed it, they would play out well in his head.

In his head.

Would Matthew accept it? He would still hate him wouldn't he? Maybe…

_Maybe I should talk with Arthur again._

But a voice in his mind told him that he didn't need to talk to Arthur about it any longer. The British man didn't like him. Francis didn't like it when people didn't like him, it just didn't seem right. He was supposed to be the one everyone loved and now…

_Now there are two, no, three people who hate me. God I hope there aren't more._

Having hatred turned towards him was like sending a swarm of locus into the garden of his soul- eating him away.

He needed to fix things with Matthew, not only for himself, but for the sake of his step brother.

* * *

Ivan opened his eyes from a night of playing what had happened in Alfred's room over and over again in his mind. He was sure that if he slept, he would have dreamt it as well. But this way he could make up different little endings in his mind. Not sleeping also allowed him to formulate a plan in his mind. He was going to get Alfred to like him. Nyet—

He was going to get Alfred to _love_ him.

"Brother~" Ivan tensed himself up at the overly sweet, accented voice. Oh dear God…he did love his sisters, but…Natalia just…she scared him sometimes.

"Y-Yes Natalia?" He asked cautiously as he heard the light knocking at his door.

"Brother are you dressed?" She asked, a little ring to her voice.

"I will get my school clothes on in a mo—"

The door burst open, the metal screws coming loose from the hinges and allowing it to fall with ease to the floor. Natalia stood in the doorway, he pose saying that she was innocent, but her face had a tight smile which made Ivan wonder what she needed from him.

"Or you can just some in." He shrugged and sent her a smile.

"Brother, where were you last night?"

"I went to my friends house to pick something up…" He knew that lying to her was no use. But Ivan also knew that telling her had had some to comfort Alfred would get the American's head ripped off. And he did not want that. He did not want to have to hate his sister for breaking the one thing that he truly loved. As she had done with many of his childhood toys. If he played with them too much she would say he loved them more than her and destroy them.

No. She would not do that with Alfred. He was more than a toy.

"Let me get dressed Natalia, I will be down for breakfast in a minute."

* * *

Ludwig awoke with a soft smile on his face as he came to find the red headed Italian gently holding onto his arm as he slept. The bubbly man had a cute way of sleeping, his breathing rhythmic and ending in a little noise. There would be occasional times when he would burst out with something he was dreaming about, mainly involving pasta. But sometimes…he would murmur Ludwig's name and the German would find himself smiling.

"Ludwig…" Those honeyed brown eyes opened and the Italian gave one of his famous breath taking smiles.

"Good morning."

Filiciano nuzzled in closer to Ludwig and pressed his head against the German's chest.

"Mnn~ Mornin'."

* * *

Gilbert woke up in the morning feeling… NOT awesome….At all…

Fuck, why did his head hurt so bad? And why was his room so bright! Agh….

He looked at his alarm clock and saw that it was only a minute before it—

The blasted contraption started to play a static radio station, making Gilbert's ears ring. Holy fuck! Why was it so loud? Mnn…

He was hung over, that's why he felt so sick. Damn…Well at least it was Friday and he would be able to see Ro—

A slight pang of sadness hit him, and he remembered everything from yesterday, even…

Oh shit….

Even that horrible phone call he had made to Roderick last night….ah! shit!

He dragged his hands over his face and sighed, he needed a shower. A nice hot shower, and he would feel better. And he could at least clear his head so that he could think of a way to pass off last night as some drunken stupidity. . . or at least think of a way to keep himself together when Roderick told him…

* * *

Matthew ran out of the house, swallowing the last bite of pancake from that morning. His mother was so good at making pancakes it was unbelievable. He had to blame the French in her for the cooking skills. It must be what gave Francis his amazing cooking abilities as well.

The bus doors opened and Matthew boarded it, shifting the weight of his backpack on his shoulder as he scanned the isles. He noticed that Alfred was back, and briefly wondered why he had been gone yesterday. He was sitting with Arthur, though there seemed to be a sort of awkward space between them.

With a sigh, Matthew talked over and sat down in the seat next to Ivan, turning on his music when he was sure that Ivan seemed to be sleeping, and listening to it the whole bus ride to the school.

* * *

Gilbert nervously tapped his pencil as he sat in class, glancing up occasionally at the clock. The damn thing seemed to have something against it, because the more he stared at it, the slower it seemed to go. His body was tingling. Lunchtime was soon. Roderick and him would talk. They would go to the music room and talk. Why the music room? Because Roderick liked it there…

The albinos pencil drumming grew quicker. One minute… Agh! A minute was so long! Sixty seconds! Sixty! One..two…three…

"…Don't you think Gilbert?"

Seven…eight…nine…

"Gilbert?"

Eleven…

"HEY! GIL—BERT! Helloooo?"

Red eyes snapped up to meet the deep green eyes of his Spanish friend. Gilbert was growing more annoyed with him by the second. He didn't want to be stuck talking to him. The second that clock hit 12:30 he was out of there, so that meant he didn't have time to be caught up in Antonio's mindless chatter.

Forty…forty one…

"Are you ignoring me?"

"I'm trying to, but you are making that extremely difficult." Gilbert snapped, once again looking at Antonio instead of the clock.

"Way to be man…"

"Yeah, Yeah."

Fifty nine…

"Don't you think—"

Sixty! Gilbert jumped up from his desk, pulled his backpack with everything already backed up in it, and slug it over his shoulder.

"Gotta go Tony, talk to you later."

Antonio gave a little pout before smiling and saying goodbye. Gilbert was trembling as he ran out the doorway. Trembling is not awesome. Music room, he'd promised to meet Roderick in the music room. And he was almost there. He swallowed.

"Roderick I—"

As he stepped into the room he saw the Austrian sitting at the piano, his face in his hands. The words in which Gilbert was about to say died in his mouth. Why did Roderick look so upset? Why did he— Was he crying? The sight of the person that Gilbert USED to love, crying, it…

"What's wrong?" Tentatively he made his way towards the Austrian.

Roderick looked up at him with cold violet eyes and sucked in a breath.

"How did you find out?" His tone was cold, his voice far too bitter, only making Gilbert sink further into the darkness which was consuming him.

"I…" His lips continued to move, saying words which had no voice. Shouldn't he be the one upset?

So…Why did he only feel this sadness for Roderick?

The Austrian stood abruptly from his piano stool, knocking the sheet music which rested beside him away with the sudden force of his movement. Pages flew to the ground and Gilbert almost made a move to pick them up. Almost. It was the _word_ written on the pages of endless music which caught his attention. A single word. That is what made him stop, what made him lose all will to help pick them up. And that name…

_Elizaveta_

Gilbert felt the fury rise in him, sizzling up through his body, threatening to explode from his lips. The words he would use to inform Roderick of his feelings on this matter, and about the fact that he loved him. How long have you been with her? Was it the whole time that they had been together? Why? What was Gilbert to the Austrian? He wanted to ask, but the dangerous, broken look in Roderick's eyes made him stop.

"How did you find out about us?" Roderick yelled, rushing towards Gilbert, backing him up against the wall of the music room. Gilbert was stunned, though only momentarily, until the hurt set in once again and he lashed back on his own.

"IT DOESN'T MATTER!"

"Yes." Roderick tightened his hands on Gilbert's wrists. "It DOES!"

"Then answer this!" The albino growled. "How the FUCK long were you together with HER?" Roderick glared at him with flaming violet eyes.

"Two years Gilbert."

Gilbert wanted to collapse. Two years? Two… He had been with Gilbert for one year, which meant that he had been dating her before he had even gone out with Gilbert…

"Get away from me." The Prussian hissed, his while body beginning to shake. How could he?

"How did you FIND OUT ABOUT US?"

"GET AWAY!" Gilbert was hurt, he just wanted to be as far away from this horrible man as possible. The one he had one considered someone he loved. What an idiot he was. What a stupid, NOT awesome IDIOT!

A fist slammed into the wall a mere centimeter from Gilbert's face, causing him to freeze.

"Fuck Gilbert! HOW?"

"You—What was I to you then?"

"Gilbert—"

"I want an answer! Then you can ask whatever the FUCK you want of me, but WHAT WAS I TO YOU?"

"You were a cover! Alright? So that people wouldn't be suspicious of—" He stopped, noticing that Gilbert-despite his best attempts to stop it- had tears streaming from his eyes. "Shit…Gilbert…Don't…I considered you a close friend. But I was using you… I'm sorry…" Gilbert brought his red eyes up to meet Roderick's violet.

"Sorry doesn't cut it. I loved you. Really…_FUKING_ **LOVED** YOU RODERICK!" His voice cracked and he began to sink to the floor. God..he was being such a wimp… too dramatic…It wasn't like it was the end of the world…It wasn't something too horrible…He was awesome. He could deal with it. Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. Awe—

"I'm sorry. I really…love her. Elizaveta that is…She…I really just…Here," Roderick let go of Gilbert and began to pick up the pieces of paper which lay on the floor. Putting them in order before stacking them neatly back onto the piano. "Just listen" He sat down on the piano stool, taking a deep breath in and beginning to play.

* * *

"So, we're all good right?" Alfred grinned at Arthur, knowing that things would be better this way. With the two of them just being good friends like they were before, and everything would go back to like it was before. Good. Steady. Fun.

"No Alfred, I want you to stay away from me." Arthur smiled and rolled his eyes as he let his words drip with sarcasm. And Alfred tried to _not_ note how cute Arthur looked with that smile.

"Good." Alfred bubbled, moving forward to hug the English man.

"But you understand how I feel right? And that I _am _sorry."

"Yup!" Alfred pulled away. "That's why I decided to give up on you. I mean, we're better off friends anyways."

"That's…Good." Arthur laughed. "But really Alfred, you should have at least let me know that you were gay."

"What? No. I'm not gay. Not that being gay is a bad thing. But I still like girls."

"So you're bi."

"…Yeah." Alfred felt a slight blush building up in his face.

"That's perfectly fine with me."

* * *

The song was beautiful. Absolutely, magnificently….beautiful. there was so much emotion in it. so much…love. Roderick really did have a way with music, and Gilbert didn't think that there was any other way he could have truly expressed this…pure emotion, in simple words. Elizaveta. So this is how he felt about her… He really loved her… Still Gilbert couldn't help but be a little jealous, but this song made him understand.

It was going to be okay.

It sounded stupid that a song could make him feel like this, but it did. And it was an awesome song.

Slowly, the music faded to an end, leaving Gilbert wanting more.

"So do you understand…?" Roderick asked after a second.

"I….I think I do actually…"

"I love her."

"I…I know."

"I'm sorry."

"It's alright…"

Roderick sighed and patted the seat next to him for Gilbert to sit down, Gilbert did. The albino began to tell Roderick about what had happened how he had found out. He assured him that no one else knew but him and Matthew, and Matthew had practically put his life on the line to convince Gilbert not to tell anyone (Gilbert would have punched his face in at that point, it took everything in him to not) So he didn't think that Matthew was going to be letting anyone else know. At all.

Roderick told him that when Gilbert had called last night he had been with Elizaveta, she had heard. That was why Roderick was so upset, because she was worried about it getting out. She was ready to stop their relationship and wait until Roderick graduated.

"I'm sorry…" Gilbert murmured.

"Yeah, I'm sure that once I clear things up with her we'll go back to—You really don't want to hear about us right now do you?"

The albino shook his head, looking a little bit off to the side.

"No really."

"Sorry. So…can we stay friends?"

"Ha. 'I hope we can still be friends…', eh?" Gilbert laughed a little. "The most famous things to say after a breakup."

"Yeah…sorry Gil…"

Gilbert stood up and waved his hand, beginning to walk towards the door.

"It's cool but," He paused. "I still don't forgive you."

"I know. I wouldn't forgive me either."

"You'll have to work back up to being friends. Right now, I don't want to be friends with someone who's not awesome. So, get awesome alright?"

Roderick laughed.

"Will do."

* * *

Matthew exited his class with an odd feeling in the pit of his stomach. What was it? It was almost an ominous feeling like—

"Mattttiiieeeee~" Alfred practically glomped him. Where on earth did he come from?

"Al…What are you—"

"Mattie, I'm a hero right?"

Matthew remained silent. Glaring at his annoying twin brother, still finding the idea that they were twins odd to him…

"Riiigght?" Matthew sighed.

"Yeah, and?"

"Well being the amazing super hero that I am, I am going to help you! We're going to start with this."

The American pulled two tickets out of his pants pockets, beaming at Matthew.

"What?" Alfred handed him one of the tickets, and Matthew looked down at it, confused. He wanted him to go with him? But…What?

"Al—"

"No. You're going to go with me if you like it or not. Kay?"

"Al—" Matthew tried again, but Alfred was already turned around, and skipping down the halls. Matthew sighed, knowing that it was useless to try to argue. His eyes moved back towards the ticket, and he felt his heart speed up a little.

_I can't say no…_

* * *

_YAY! I can't believe I finished this tonight! Haha and so early too! YEAH~ Don't forget to review! Did you like the chapter? Where should Alfred take Matthew?:3 What is that ticket for? Let me know your thoughts! Byebye for now! OH! and the gift fanfiction i wrote for YUki the 100th reviewer(Thankyou so much to everyone who has reviewed so far!) It is AmeriCan and rated M. Well then with that-Review!_


	14. Kumajirou

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Hetalia.

AGH! So busy! My performance of willy wonka. Then school. And more school. And….yeah…I'M SO SORRY GUYS! I cant promise you that this will never happen again, but i….i hope that you like this new chapter. Even though it is really short. It's better than nothing right?

* * *

It was Saturday morning, and Alfred smirked as he walked up to the door of Matthew's house. He was going to be taking his adorable little brother to an amusement park. It was just a small one that was set up in town for a little while, but it was still something fun to do! He wondered if Mattie had ever gone to a fair before. It would be awesome if he was the first one to take him to a fair!

The American raised his hand and knocked on the door, remembering the first night that he had gone to Matthews house… that night…it wasn't a very pleasant one… but it was also the night when he found out he had a twin brother so-that made up for it a little bit! If only he could get Matthew to open up to him….

He door opened and a woman with silvery blond hair and blue eyes stood in the door way. She was just staring at him…Alright…It was a little bit creepy at first, but then Alfred remembered that he looked almost exactly like Matthew, just-cooler and more heroic.

"Hey there! Alfred F. Jones at your service." He gave her a little salute and one of his oh-so-very-charming smiles. You know, the ones that made every girl swoon when they saw him. The woman raised an eyebrow.

"Alfred…" She smiled, her voice coated heavily with an accent. "What can I do for you?"

"I'm here to pick up Mattie, you see- me and him are going to a fair!" Her eyes widened slightly.

"You are one of Matthew's friends?" She questioned.

"Yes ma'm."

"Well then, you can come in, but Matthew is still in bed. I don't think that he knew that you would be coming."

"That's fine. I'll just go wake 'im up." Alfred grinned and stepped into the house, making his way towards Matthew's room.

* * *

Matthew heard a loud knocking at his door, and turned over in his bed, trying his best to ignore the annoying noise. He was tired, so extremely mentally exhausted. He just…didn't want to get out of bed. Most of all he didn't want to go to that stupid fair with Alfred and that was sometime this weekend…ugh…

"Mattie~" A voice sung.

No. Matthew looked out from under his blankets, trying to glare a hole right through the door and into the stupid Americans skull.

_Go away I'm sleeping…_

He closed his eyes and pretended not to have heard Alfred. If he didn't hear him he didn't have to get up.

"Maaattieee~ I'm coming in!" the American wasn't lying, for he opened the door and stepped into Matthew's room.

_Why_? Matthew groaned. Why did he have to be so annoying?

"Go away."

"Come on Mattie! Don't tell me that you forgot about our date!"

"Date? Alfred we—"

"Date is a good enough word. Better than 'fun day at the fair' that's just too long! Come on, up and Adam!"

"No…" Matthew groaned, trying to bring the covers back over his head to find them being ripped off of him. Normally this wouldn't simply annoy him.

"C'mon Mattie!" Having no choice seeing as he was now lying in his bed in a t-shirt and his boxers-Alfred had his blanket, he decided he would just get up and get it over with.

* * *

Francis smiled as he entered the café, it was early and he wanted breakfast. The café was the only place where he wanted to go for some reason, so…he went. As he entered the building he found himself wondering if perhaps he could get a job there. If they were hiring of course. He would just have to be on his best behavior with that Russian woman working. She would certainly be—

"You're back?" The accented voice brought a slight smile to his lips.

"Is there a problem with that _mon cher_?"

"Don't call me that. Don't even call me Arthur."

"Then what shall I call you? Sir? You?" He smirked. "Brows?"

That was when the British mans face really lit up red. It was a wonderful sight, him getting all flustered over Francis' teasing. The French man saw him grind his teeth together and then suck in a deep breath.

"come this way."

"come?"

"Don't be disgusting. Your seat. Follow." Arthur turned around in a huff and walked towards the tables, Francis followed with a chuckle.

"A bit bossy now aren't we?"

"Shut up." He growled, gesturing stiffly towards the small booth. Francis gave him a smug smile and sat down, waiting for the menu to be placed in front of him before saying;

"May I talk to your manager?"

Arthur bit back again, and turned his eyes to Francis with a forced smile.

"And what would that be about?"

"hm." Francis mused, teasing the English waiter. "About the horrible behavior of a certain waiter." Arthur glared at him and Francis smirked. "Please go and get her?"

"Yeah, yeah…" Arthur grumbled, turning and walking away.

It was fun to play with this one. He got upset so easily~

* * *

"Ohmygod, are you two twins?"

If Matthew heard that one more time today he was pretty sure that he would explode, not to mention every time someone asked Alfred would grin and say that they were. Alfred was an idiot. Of course…they _were _twin brothers, but…that didn't mean that Matthew wanted to acknowledge it yet.

"Yup!" Alfred grinned at the girl who had asked them. Her eyes lit up, and she smiled even wider.

"What's so cool, you know-I've got some friends with me maybe we could—"

"Nope." Alfred chuckled. "Sorry, but today is my day out with my cute brother here. Maybe another time?" The girl nodded and proceeded to pull out a pen and write her number on Alfred's hand.

"Call me?" She smirked.

"Sure."

Why couldn't Alfred just accept her offer and let him go home? Matthew definitely didn't want to be here.

"Now if you will-Mattie?"

Matthew looked at Alfred telling him with his eyes how much he did not want to be here right now. Alfred's face fell, and he looked from the ground to Matthew.

"Come one Mattie…I want us to become closer…please don't hate me. It wasn't my fault… I'm sorry…I took you here to try and bond a little you know…Having a brother may not be as bad as you think and…I've always wanted one….Just…At least try…I'm trying as hard as I can."

The Canadian continued to stare at him, letting the words sink in. Alfred _was_ trying…and Matthew didn't really have a good reason to be angry with him…it wasn't his fault and…He _did_ save him… Matthew sighed.

_I guess I can try…_

Alfred must have seen the look in his eye because his smile came back and he grabbed Matthew's wrist.

"Come on Mattie! Let's go play some games!" With a sigh, Matthew let himself be dragged along by his American brother.

The two of them came to a corner of the fair which was filled with noisy games and crowds of people. Matthew hadn't before been to a carnival, or a fair, or an amusement park, so he didn't really know what to make of it. Maybe this was normal? Probably…

"Mattie, what game?" Matthew looked over at the smirking Alfred with a questioning arch of his eyebrow.

"Excuse me?"

"Game. Pick one. I'm a hero, so I can win you whatever you want!" The Canadian had to fight back the urge to roll his eyes at the blond. Hero, Yeah, sure.

Well….He _had_ saved Matthew so…the Canadian should give him at least a little bit of credit…

"Doesn't matter." Matthew murmured. Alfred smiled at him, and moved towards one of the more difficult looking games. The kind that Matthew knew people hardly won, but the game had bigger prizes.

"How about that polar bear there?" The American grinned.

Matthew looked at the stuffed fluffy white bear and bit his lip. For some reason he felt like he _had_ to have it. slowly, the Canadian bit his lip and nodded, making Alfred chuckle.

"Then that polar bear it is!" And with that, he ripped a $20 bill out of his pocket and strolled up towards the person running the game. "Hello sir, I would like to play this game and win that polar bear." The man looked at him with a sarcastic look on his face.

"Lots of people would like to play this game and win kid." He gave him a once over, and smirked. "You can try." He took the money from Alfred and the American proceeded to play the game. The blonds face became serious as he focused on the mass of bottles before him, holding a red ring in his hand. He was supposed to put the ring over the top of one of those bottles. It was something that many people couldn't do. But Alfred looked pretty damn determined.

"Here we go." He threw the ring and it almost made it onto the bottle, almost…Matthew was actually pretty impressed. The red ring went around the bottle, but bounced back off.

Alfred continued to throw his rings and almost get it on the bottle until he was down to his last one. The American drew in a deep breath, and threw.

It landed on the bottle.

Matthew blinked, and then found himself smiling.

"Alright!" Alfred turned back and returned his brother's grin.

"The polar bear." Alfred told the man.

* * *

Matthew felt a little silly to be carrying around a big stuffed polar bear with him, but he didn't really mind. For some reason it made him extremely happy to be holding the fluffy white stuffed animal.

"What ride now?" Alfred asked.

"Doesn't matter." Matthew smiled, feeling the chill he had placed over his heart towards Alfred slowly melt away.

_Maybe having a brother like him isn't so bad._

* * *

I'm so sorry! Again! Still review though guys. The more you review the more likely I will be inspired to write and post chapters if I am not too busy with Anime Boston. After the 22nd of April I should be back on track! /


	15. Kicking Some Ass

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT own Hetalia.

* * *

Matthew smiled and sat down on his bed, pulling the polar bear closer to him.

Today was nice

Alfred had taken him to the amusement park and won him the stuffed animal. Maybe he wasn't such a bad guy after all…it wasn't his fault really, that Matthew was left with his mother….well kind of but- Alfred wasn't a bad person at all. No….Maybe Matthew could accept that he was his brother. It could be nice, to have someone like that. Some who he could go to for advise…like Francis had been…

No, don't think about that Matthew….

The Canadian buried his face in the soft fur of the polar bear and took in a deep breath. Holding the bear gave him a kind of….nostalgic feeling…? What was this? He could quite place it as if he had done it before and—

He HAD done it before….

That's where the name had come from.

The Canadians eyes began to water. Shit…. He used to have a bear just like this when he was little, one that had been given to him by his father. Back then…One that he had clutched for dear life when he woke to find his fathers blood around him and his body aching. One that he had left behind. One whose memory he had buried as he had tried to burry the others.

He pulled the bear away and looked at it. Kumajirou. That's what he had named his old one. That was what this ones name was as well… Suddenly he didn't want it anymore. He hated it. It made him remember. It made him realize that really all of this time…these past years…

They had all been some kind of dream. A fantasy world that Matthew had placed himself in. to make everything better. But really….nothing was better, he shouldn't be trying to convince himself of these things. He….his father had raped him, killed himself, then Matthew had tried to live a normal life. He tried to pretend. Then his other father died. The one who he had loved and looked up to, then Francis-his BROTHER…his beloved brother had tried to….he…but Matthew still continued to act as if everything was fine. As if nothing had ever happened in his life that was tragic in any way. Like he was normal. Like he was happy. The word brought a bitter laugh to his dry throat. From that laugh he began to cry. Just…sob.

It wasn't possible to go on like this….It wouldn't be….Everything….it was all just some fantasy….

The Canadian curled himself up into a ball and just sat there. He didn't want to move, he didn't want to sleep, he didn't want to do anything. Ever,

* * *

Alfred shoved the girl against the wall. She was the one who had started this. HER. How DARE she.

"Did you hear, Matthew was raped…"

That was the buzz going around the school, and that buzz began at her. Stacy Lovette. His blue eyes blazed as he glared at her. The bleach blonde, blue eyed, aeropostale wearing, rumor spreading…agh!

"Don't you DARE say that about Matthew!" He snarled, his grip on her wrists tightening. She flinched a little, then glowered up at him, smirking.

"Well, if it wasn't true, then why would you be defending him?"

It had been a week since Alfred had last seen Matthew. He hadn't been in school in forever. The American couldn't help but wonder if something was wrong with him. Was he sick? Dying? Well dying was a bit extreme… But after the first three days of his absence, that nasty rumor had begun spreading around the school.

But it's true….

But it was no ones business! And the whole school did NOT need to know. No one beside Alfred needed to know about it.

"True or not, Stacy" He growled. "It is none of your fucking business, so I'd advise that you just leave it."

"Or what?" She dared.

"Or else."

The girl snorted.

"Are you threatening me Alfred?" He gritted his teeth.

"Nyet, he is not, but I am." The girls face went white as her eyes locked on the Russian standing behind Alfred. Oh that stupid commie…. Alfred let go of her wrists and whirled around to look at Ivan.

"Go away Ivan, I don't need your help."

The Russian glanced back at the girl for a brief moment before returning his pale violet eyes to the American.

"It appears that you do."

"She would have listened to me." Alfred snarled, looking back at her.

"If you say so." Ivan shrugged, and Alfred turned back to him, glaring. Ivan's eyes moved dangerously back to the girl and Alfred saw her flinch.

"Do you understand?" He growled, moving his face closer to hers. She gritted her teeth and looked past him to where Ivan must still be standing. "?" She nodded. He sighed.

"Where did you even hear that?"

A cruel smile twisted over her face, and she crossed her arms.

"You and Arthur weren't the only ones on the rooftop that day, you know." Alfred felt his stomach jump a little. So she had heard him talking to Arthur…. That wasn't good…. "So, you can't say that it's not tr—"

"FUCK! I never said that it wasn't true! I said that EVEN IF IT WAS it was NONE of your FUCKING business." He snapped, "God! Do you not understand where the fucking line is? Where you CAN stick your nose into and where you SHOULDN'T? agh! Just leave him alone." Alfred smiled cruelly at her. "Or perhaps I should tell the school about your little herpies problem, and by little- I'm being kind." Her face paled for the second time, her lips parted a bit. "Oh, I know ALL about it. Don't forget whose mother you go to for the treatment medicines. I'm sure you wont what THAT going around now would you?" He tilted his head to the side and smirked.

Her face went from being white as a sheet to a bright red.

"you wouldn't…."

"Try me, bitch."

She sucked in a sharp breath.

"Y-you…." She stuttered, trying to think of something to argue with, but failing to find anything.

"don't doubt what I would do in order to protect my brother. I want you to tell every single person who you told, and who the rumor has passed to that it was a lie. You lied. When I ask people about it, I want them to say that it 'just turned out to be a rumor' got it?"

She hesitated.

"Unless of course, you want the whole school to know. I can start by telling every one of the guys that you slept with, which im pretty sure is my whole gym class. Lots of things get passed around in there. It wouldn't be hard at all to bring that up. Just saying."

Her eyes were wide, her face red.

"don't…..?"

"Then you know what you need to do. Are we clear?" She nodded. His eyes narrowed. "ARE WE CLEAR?"

"Y-Yes!"

"Then," he backed away from her. "Go and do it."

The girl nodded, gingerly stepped to the side and walked away as fast as she could. Alfred just glared after her.

"see…" He muttered. "told you I could do it."

* * *

Gilbert impatiently tapped his pencil on his desk.

_What the hell?_

Where was Matthew? The quiet little Canadian was sometimes hard to notice, and sometimes it seemed like he wasn't there, but this time he really WASN'T. He hadn't been there for a good two weeks! He had stopped coming to school right the time that stupid as rumor began going around. But they stopped….did Mattie know that they stopped? They'd been stopped for a good week and a half now…

"Gilbert? Gilbert? Gilllllbbberrrrtttttttt? GIL!" The Prussian's eyes snapped up to his Italian teacher. Fili….

"Yeah?" Fili pouted.

"Gil…I know that its Friday and everything, but you kind of need to pay attention. Or…at least _act_ like you're paying attention, ya know?" Gilbert heard some snickering behind him causing Gilbert to send a glare around the room before sighing and looking back at Fili.

"Sorry Fili, just thinking." The red head's eyes twinkled.

"Well that's good! What ab—." He seemed to notice that he was in class and stopped his question a light blush dusting over his cheeks. "Well at least youre thinking!" Gilbert felt his head drop a bit.

_Gee…Thanks_

"Well…..just try to pay attention. Kay? Unless you want me to teach you it again later." He tried to look as serious as a Fili could about this, but it really just made the Italian look silly and a bit constipated. Gilbert laughed.

"Yeah, yeah, will do Fili."

The teacher smiled and ruffled Gilbert's snowy hair which, were they not so close, would have been creepy.

"M'kay."

And then he went back to teaching…..whatever he was teaching.

_Wow….guess I really haven't been paying attention….ah well. _

_Sh*t ._

_There's some kind a test next week…_

Well…he could always grab Ivan's notes. The Russian took really good notes.

"oh, and class-we will be preparing for a mock trial on the hiroshima bombing. There will be two sides , I will break the class up into groups on Monday and you will pick your roles. Here is the assignment sheet. Please look over it and read the information in the packet you got yesterday if you haven't already. Next week will be spent preparing for the trial which will be on Friday."

_Wonderful_….

* * *

Wonderful! Oh Alfred had never loved a Monday so much~ The American grinned at his sheet. He was on the American side, defending the bombing. He was Truman and also crossing Stalin who was being played by Ivan. HA! Alfred would finally call him out for the commie bastard that he was. Oh it would be amazing~ Alfred was so pumped!

"Hey Fili~" Alfred bounced up to the teacher at the end of class and grinned widely.

"H-hi Alfred." The Italian seemed a bit startled, but was soon smiling himself.

"So, do you have any books that I can use against Stalin, you know-good ones. I mean, not that it is all that hard to prove that Stalin is a commie bastard, but still—"

"Wow…" The Italian smiled brightly. "I don't think that I have ever seen you so pumped up about homework!" He clapped his hands together. "Ve~ That's good!"

"So—" Alfred pressed. "Do you have any?"

"No…sorry, but you can look things up online if you want to. Though all of the information you need is in the packet and affidavits that I gave you." Alfred couldn't stop grinning.

"Kay!" He began to turn away.

"Oh Alfred—"

"Yeah?"

Fili bit his lip, as if wondering whether or not he should ask the question. "Matthew….hasnt been in school for a while, so…." Alfred's face fell a bit. Mattie…He…It had been a good two weeks since he had even heard from him. Since anyone had…It kind of hurt, but…

"Do you know wh—"

"No. I don't know why he isn't in school."

"Oh…okay…do you think you can give him his homework for—"

"I don't live with him Fili."

"Oh….so it's like your parents are divorced and…"

"No, it's…." Alfred bit his lip. "It's more complicated than that…."

"…Oh…Okay…"

The room fell into a sort of awkward silence. Alfred looked away from his teacher and adjusted his bag on his shoulder.

"Yeah, so…It's probably best if you just give him his work when he comes back…"

_Because his mother won't let me in to see him…_

But he didn't say that, because there really wasn't that much need to…the less that other people knew, the better. Alfred really thought that he had helped Mattie…at least a little bit.

"I'm gonna go now…"

Fili nodded.

"Kay…"

Alfred sighed and stepped out of the classroom…What was Mattie doing now? How was he? What was wrong?

_Maybe I should go and see him…_

"Is something wrong?"

Alfred's head snapped up and he locked eyes with Ivan.

"Nope," He grinned at the big Russian. "Just planning out how I am going to destroy you. _Stalin_." Ivans smile widened his violet eyes twinkling.

"Nyet, little American. I do not believe that you will be able to 'destroy me'" Alfred smirked.

Well, he was going to be surprised! Alfred had special plans to kick his ass. Stupid Commie wasn't going to get out of this unscathed. Alfred was going to amaze with his skills, he was going to tear Ivan down with his AMAZING cross. It would be awesome, he could already see it in his head. He would ask a series of questions that would leave the Russian flustered and reluctantly saying yes to. Oh~Alfred was going to be brilliant!

* * *

Gilbert sat down at the lunch table and found himself looking around. Damnit! Matthew being gone so long was NOT awesome at ALL. Who else was he going to talk to? Tell about what was going on with Roderick. Stupid Canadian just didn't understand that Gilbert needed to talk to him….really, you'd think that he would know better than to not come in….Where was he even? Was he sick or something? Because- that would NOT be awesome…at all—

"Hey there Gilbo! What's poppin?" Gilbert raised an eyebrow up at the albino as the brunette slid into the seat across from him, followed by his pissy boyfriend.

"Nothin," He sighed.

"Well _someone_ is looking a little down in the dumps~ You still upset about your break up with Rod?" He pouted and Gilbert felt a slight pang in his chest. Well now that you mention it…. Idiot. He glared at him.

"Well obviously he is, stupid." Lovino rolled his eyes and Tony turned to him with a pout.

"Sorry…" He looked back at Gilbert with big rounded puppy dog eyes. "I guess it would only be natural to be upset after having your heart broken…"

"It's fine…" Gilbert grumbled.

"Hey, have you seen—"

"No."

"Mattie…"

"No, and it's totally NOT awesome that he isn't here ya know."

A smile was beginning to spread across Antonio's face. Was he laughing at him or something?

"Yeah." He chuckled. "Maybe you should ask Alfred, they're brother's aren't they?"

"Right!" Gilbert grinned. "I'll go and find—"

"Hey guys~" Well, speak of the devil, and he shall arrive.

The albino turned to Alfred as he sat down. He was obviously happy about something. Positively glowing. Did something good happen to him? Maybe Matthew was back!

"Who were you going to find? Cause, if you're looking for Ivan, ive already found him." Antonio let out a laugh. "He knows that I'm going to kick his ass in the trial~"

"pfffttt." Tony was grinning. "Sorry, youre going to do _what_ with his ass?" Alfred glared at him.

"_Kick_ his ass."

"Lick?"

"No! Kick. K." He growled "KA. KICK his ass."

"Ahhhh I see~ sorry Al~" The American's eyes narrowed.

"Sure you are."

"Its just." Tony laughed. "There is just sooo much sexual tension between the two of you!"

"Who?" Gilbert questioned.

"Him and Iva—"

"Hate."

"What?"

"It's called hate. Don't confuse the two."

Tony rolled his eyes with a smirk. "Well I think—"

"Shut it Tony."

"What?"

"Your mouth."

"Guys…" Gilbert cut in,

"What?" They both snapped at him. Gilbert simply pointed in the direction of a steadily angrier growing Lovino. Antonio flinched and moved closer to his partner.

"Sorry, love…"

"Yeah, yeah, just shut up. You're being annoying."

"Kay!"

Gilbert raised an eyebrow. Were we being serious here? Little pissy pants was getting his panties in a bunch and tony was just taking it? Whatever….

Alfred sighed and looked distastefully down at his food, breakfast for lunch. Gilbert had found it to be one of the only good things that this stupid school served. What was Alfred finding wrong with it? There was even some mini pancakes on his plate.

"If you don't want it, I'll eat it" The American looked up at him.

"I'll eat it, I was just…thinking…"

"Oh, about?"

"Mattie…" His eyes looked a bit distant.

"Me too! Do you know what is going on with him? Like, why he isn't here?"

"No idea." He said harshly.

"Why n—"

"Look," He growled. "If youre so curious about him then why don't you go to his house and ask him yourself?"

Well…someone was certainly touchy about Mattie….Maybe something really WAS wrong?

"Okay, where does he live?"

Alfred turned blazing blue eyes to him and snarled.

"Figure it out yourself"

Man, what crawled up HIS ass and died? Gilbert sighed and got up.

"I will."

* * *

Francis smirked and took a sip of his water , checking himself out in the mirror. Yup. He always knew that he would look sexy as hell in a waiter's outfit. People were staring at him all day~

"Oh stop gawking at yourself, it's sickening."

The Frenchman's smirk widened and he turned to face Arthur.

"Oui, it would be much better for you to gawk instead." He stuck a pose. "Non?"

Arthur rolled his eyes and sat down on one of the stools, unwrapping his lunch.

"You'll never cease to amaze me."

"I'll never cease to amaze you~?" Francis grinned. "my, my~"

"Oh, shut up." The Frenchman laughed and seated himself beside Arthur.

"So, have you talked to him yet?"

"…." He moved his food away from his mouth and looked away. "No…"

"Why not?"

"…It's just…I don't know how to face him. How do you talk to someone who you only love as family, but they feel more and you have o turn them down and—" He let out a sigh. "I cant even hear his voice without feeling awkward."

"Ahhh it seems that we are in the same waters just…traveling different ways. Are you afraid to talk to him?"

"I….Shut up and go away Francis…"

"What scares you about it?"

"Its not scary you twit!" Arthur blushed. "It's just….I…Feel like seeing him, talking to him though…isn't good though…"

Francis pouted. "Why?"

"I don't know!" Arthur growled, glaring at him.

"Well…do you realize that your not talking to him at all could be more painful for the both of you than trying to talk and get past that awkwardness?" The Brit bit his lip.

"I…Know…"

"Then why are you avoiding—"

"THEN WHY ARE YOU?" Flaming green eyes snapped to Francis'. The Frenchman flinched a bit, the comment hurting him. But he smiled at Arthur, standing up and placing a hand in his messy hair.

"You'll figure this out….Arthur….eventually."

Arthur nodded.

"Thanks…even if you are just a French bastard…I hope…that things…get better for you too…."

Francis felt his chest tighten.

"Oh , Mon cher…..i do too…I do too…"

"Why do you need Matthew's address?"

"umm…..because he's been gone…a while, and…the teachers asked me to bring him his homework. We're friends." Gilbert smiled at the office lady and waited for her to respond. A skeptical look was all he got.

"Really!" Gilbert raised a hand to his chest. "On my awesome honor."

She rolled her eyes.

"Fine."

* * *

OHMYGOD! I seriously thought this Chapter was never going to happen. Soooooo muchhhh shittttt going on in my life. *sighs heavily* I'm so sorry! but I SHOULD be back on track! Thanks to my awesome Gilbert ^-^ Binbinbin~ je'taime! Anime Boston was AMAZING We won two awards! 2nd place in craftsmanship and Audience favorite~ if you want to check us out it is on youtube it is under "Anime Boston masquerade 2011 p22" I'm the Sebastian. Again, I'm so sorry for the delay. … Don't forget to review! Next chapter we get to some good stuff with Gil and Mattie! XD review-love you


	16. Answers

DISCLAIMER: Don't own Hetalia.

XD another chapter. And more to come! Thank Bin for these~

* * *

Gilbert tapped his steering wheel with the beat of the music. Going ta see Mattie~ He pulled into the driveway and turned off his car. Part of him wondered what he should do, just go up and ask to go see Mattie? Well he had the homework with him to use for an excuse, there really wouldn't be any reason for the Canadians mother not to let him in….right?

Grabbing the papers, Gilbert got out of his truck and shut the door.

"Here we go" He smoothes his hair down a bit and walked up to the door, knocking and then ringing the doorbell. It was a long minute of standing there tapping his foot and curling up the papers before someone finally came. The door opened lightly, revealing a small French woman.

"Hey" He smiled at her. "'S Mattie home?"

"Ah….oui" She paused, looking down at the papers in his hands. "I can give him the homework."

"Naw, It's alright. I kind of want to see him anyways." He paused. "If that's alright with you."

"Yes…" She smiled at him and opened the door so that he could enter the house. "He's in his room. It's just up the stairs."

"Thanks" He stepped inside of the house, trying to keep his eyes from wandering too much. It smelt like delicious cooking and flowers and clean. The kitchen was at the end of the room, divided by the rug, and a short wall. The carpet was a deep blue, couches in the corner. The living room didn't have a television, but there was a bookshelf against the wall. As Gilbert wandered further into the house he saw the stairs, they had a bit of a wind to them, and were carpeted over the dark wood.

Mattie has a nice house…

Gilbert walked up the steps and down the hall a bit. On either sides of him were doors. But which one was Matthews room? He went for the one on his right, sliding the door open gently.

"Mattie?"

There was a lump on the bed, blond hair seeking out from under it. Gilbert noticed it move a bit and smiled. So Mattie was burying himself in covers. He stepped forward and touched the lump.

"Matt?"

The Canadian turned around and looked up at him through red eyes. He didn't have his glasses on. Gilbert jumped a bit, startled at how hallow he looked…really….it looks like he hasn't eaten in days. Is he sick? His eyes were all red and puffy. As if he has been crying… Without his glasses Matthew looked very young…Like he was a child. Gilbert swallowed.

"Hey, you. Why aren't you in school anymore?"

Matthews mouth opened and then closed, his eyes watering. " I...Gil...bert..."

Gilbert's heart speed up. "M-mattie? Mattie, what's wrong?" He placed his hand over the blankets, moving it a bit. "What happened?" He asked, his voice turning soft. He felt like he was with a small child.

"I…" There was a pause and Matthew began to shake, tears streaming from his eyes. "I just...alot of...stuff...dont want to...talk about it...why are you here?"

Gilbert bit his lip. Why WAS he here exactly? Because Mattie was his friend and he wanted to see him…

"Well…You've been missing school left and right, and that's not awesome." He pouted down at the Canadian. "And…I...I missed you, I guess."

Matthew shifted, pulling the covers over his head and sniffling. "...mn..." Why was he crying? Gilbert continued to stroke the covers.

"Wanna tell me what's been going on? Al wouldn't tell me anything. Said if I wanted answers, I should talk to you." He bit his lip.

"I…..not really…." Matthew drew in a breath and pulled the covers tighter around himself. "It's nothing. I...I'm fine." Gilbert got the feeling that he was lying through his teeth, his eyes narrowed.

"If it's nothing, you'd be coming into school. You're gonna fail your classes if you don't come in."

Matthew shifted again. "I'm not gonna...its fine...its just... that...everything came crashing down on me all at once...i dont really want to talk about some of the other things Gil, but... it just fully registered that my dad died, and my brother moved out because of me...but i can't even look at him anyways...but..." He brought his head out of the covers and took a breath. " I...I'll be...fine."

Gilbert gave the Canadian a wary look. "Lying is so not awesome, you know…You sure you don't wanna talk about it?" He placed his hand on Matthew's face. Suddenly the blonde's eyes widened and he pulled away from the touch a small noise coming out of this throat. It was as if Gilbert had burned him or something…. The albino pulled away looking briefly at his hand and then back at Matthew.

" Mattie? What did I do?"

The Canadian looked guilty, ashamed of himself...

"It...you just...touched me. sorry. i... was shocked...yeah. You didn't do anything. I'm just...not too good with pepole touching me... not right now...not for a long time...i...nevermind." He shook his head and sat up a bit, unraveling himself from the covers. "What have i missed in school?"

Gilbert raised an eyebrow and sat down on the bed. "You missed a lot, actually. We had tests in almost every class."

"Oh..." Matthew bit his lip "Well i can make those up...what were they on?"

Gilbert shrugged. "One in chem that was a review, one in history, also a review, and one in English. S'about Hamlet. We read it." Matthew smiled.

"I know Hamlet really well, so i should be fine on that. and i'll have to study for the history...and chemestry...but i'll be okay on those...erm...will you...help me study?"

Gilbert coulgnt help but grin. Pshsha Mattie was asking for his help~ "Sure! The tests really aren't that hard, they're just long."

"Oh." Matthew gave him a teasing smile. "Then if you think they're easy...i'll probably do well on them" He began to laugh which just kind of died and branched off into tears. "...shit..." *HE curled himself back up into a ball "Yeah, i'll do fine on them. you dont need to worry...Thanks for the homework, you can…" He sniffled. Was Matthew telling him to leave? He definitely needs someone with him….

"H-Hey...you okay?" He reached out his hand for him, but then dropped it. Matthew would just flinch again… The blond drew in a breath.

"I'm...no..." He paused and breathed, a broken look coming into his eyes as the indigo orbs stared helplessly into Gilberts. "I'm not okay...my dad died. and francis...he... and...Kumajirou...and my real dad…" He whimpered and reached out for Gilbert's hand. "I just cant escape it. no matter what i do...i just...wish i could forget everything!" His voice broke and Gilbert could see the sanity slipping from him. Not knowing what else to do Gilbert held out his arms awkwardly.

"I…I can't make you forget it, whatever it was, but I can give you a super-awesome hug if that helps."

There was a long silence before Matthew nodded, biting his lip and looking at Gilberts arms as if they might rip him apart… What had happened to him? "Hugs are...supposed to help right...and..." He began to cry. "oh no...Gil..."

The Prussian tried to smile. "Yeah…Hugs help. C'mere." He motioned for Matthew to hug him and was shocked when the Canadian did. He just kind of…Fell into his arms and began sobbing.

"Gil..." Matthew clutched at his shirt. "Sorry...i...gil..." He drew in a shaky breath and his voice caught. Gilbert was frozen, he didn't know what to do so he just put his arms tighter around the Canadian and whispered that it was okay. That everything would be fine. He just let him cry, and Mattie cried….Gilbert had never seen anyone cry so much. It was almost scary to think about what he must have been going through for the past 2+ weeks…

Matthew cried for two hours before finally stopping and becoming sleepy. "I…I'm sorry about...that..." He pulled away and his eyes fluttered closed, his body swaying. "sorry." He murmured again, going back into Gilberts arms and curling up. Gilbert smiled, looking briefly out the window and deciding that he wasn't going home tonight.

"Hey, it's okay." His voice was soft and he stroked Matthew's hair. "You can fall asleep."

But the Canadian was already sleeping, arms knotted in gilberts shirt, and his head on the albino's chest. Gilbert smiled and scooted himself backwards so that Matthew was still lying on him, but his back was pressed to the wall. Matthew really needed that, he decided. The Canadian had ben holding way too much inside of himself and that was not awesome. At all…

_It's good that I can be here for him…_

He yawned and closed his eyes, beginning to fall asleep himself.

* * *

"You know. I don't hate you, stupid twit."

Alfred's eyes widened, his mouth opening a bit and then closing…..Arthur? Him and Arthur hadn't spoken in days, WEEKS. Not even when they went to the same school. They used to hang out every day until…then…

_Until he rejected me_…Alfred thought. But he couldn't say anything into the phone upon hearing Arthur's voice. What was he saying? Could he be telling him that he figured out that he loved him as well—

Not that Alfred was in love with him anymore…

Not that he didn't spend nights STILL just lying in bed wishing that Arthur could be his.

Not that his heart still beat a little bit faster at the mention of his name.

Not that he couldn't get Arthur out of his head no matter what…

"Alfred?" The soft tone of Arthur's voice made the American's chest tighten. He walked over to his bed and sat down, bringing one knee up and resting his head on it.

"Huh?" Was all that he could draw from his lips. Out of all of the words that he had been longing to say to him….He pressed his face harder against his knee and bit his lip.

"I don't hate you, so…We can just go back to before…okay?"

Alfred blinked.

"Before…"

"Friends."

He nodded and drew in a shaky breath.

"That sounds….good."

"Alfred" There was a sign on the other line.

"….Yeah?"

"I love you." The Americans heart skipped a beat.

"You—"

"Just not like that. Okay? You're going to need to accept that…okay?"

Alfred bit his lip. He wanted to cry again for some reason.

"Y-yeah" His voice broke. "I know"

"Are you… crying?"

"No." He tried to shove the tears down. Why the hell was he still like this? He'd had plenty of time to get over Arthur…But just hearing his voice…

"Well…I'm going to go…"

Alfred nodded and then heard the Englishman hang up.

Damnit….

* * *

"N…no…." Gilbert stirred a little in his sleep. "St-please…" The whimpering voice caused his eyes to flutter open. Something pulled at his shirt. "daddy…."

Matthew?

Gilberts eyes fluttered closed again after being met with silence, it must have been his imagination…. The albino began to fall back asleep.

"...stop...dont…no…" Mattie cried. "please..."

The tone in Matthews voice this time caused Gilbert to start awake, sucking in a deep breath and looking around the dark room. "Matt?" He blinked and widened his eyes, trying to wake himself up a bit more. "Mattie, you okay?" He reached down and touched Matthews shoulder.

The Canadian's eyes flew open and he sat there, breathing heavily for a moment.

"G-Gil...? y...youre..." He blinked, and then looked around. "what time is it?" He froze and turned his eyes back to Gilbert. "D-did you hear…..?"

The Prussian shifted a bit. "Yeah…You were saying something about, "No, please, don't"." His eyes turned serious. "What were you dreaming about?"

Matthew looked around "...it was just a nightmare"

Yeah sure, that's why you said 'daddy'….

Gilbert sucked on his lip and looked down at him.

"You sure, Mattie?" He placed a hand gently on Matthew's cheek, turning his face towards his. Those indigo eyes met his with a sadness in them that…no one should have. A brokenness. "You have to tell me if something's wrong." The words fell from his lips, soft, concerned, demanding.

"i.." Matthew's lips quivered. "my...i..." He looked away. "I don't have to tell you anything."

"You're right." Gilbert found himself growing angry. Not angry, more…more like…frustrated that he couldn't do anything. "You _don't_ have to." He pushed Matthew off of him and stood up. "I also don't have to stay here all night with you."

Matthew's eyes widened and he caught himself. "No!" He paused and bit his lip. "Its late...you...should stay...it's hard to explain...like...hard for me to..." His voice broke and he looked down, then back up at Gilbert. "Do you really want to know?"

"I do." Gilbert sat back down.

Matthew swallowed. "I..." He looked as if he didn't know where to begin. How to begin…Gilbert almost felt bad for prying. But..He wanted to know. Because…maybe if he knew what it was that was bugging Matthew so much he would be able to…he didn't know…fix it? Matthew's eyes came back up and he took in a deep breath. "When i was little i...my father…."

And he continued. Gilbert didn't even know how long. Matthew told him about what had happened to him, recounting the whole story. Gilbert felt numb, his eyes widening at each horrible memory. So this…This is what Matthew had been holding inside of him…What he had gone though….

"...And then" Matthew had tears slipping down his face as he told Gilbert about his brother. Francis and how he had tried to…oh god… Matthew closed his eyes and bit his lip. "So...i..." He hiccupped and a small voice escaped from his throat and he lay down on his bed, pulling his knees in tighter to his body. The room went silent.

Gilbert didn't know what to say but he spoke anyways.

"That's...wow." he swallowed, just staring at the Canadian in front of him. "Okay." He bit his lip. "I'll stay tonight."

Matthew nodded. " m'kay...I'm… sleepy..." He reached an arm out, feeling around on his bed and then looked over towards the end of his bed his eyes sad as he reached out. Gilbert looked behind him and saw the fluffy white head of a stuffed polar bear. He smiled and pulled it out of the trash, wondering briefly why it had been there.

" This what you were looking for?" He smiled and handed it to Matthew. The Canadian pulled it into his arms and closed his eyes, his breathing beginning to become even.

He'd fallen asleep.

Gilbert smiled and lay down beside him, closing his eyes.

* * *

BEEP

BEEP

BEEP

BEEP

Gilbert woke up with a groan, going to stretch and felt something on him.

"Neh...where am I?" He blinked and looked down at Matthew. "Oh, right." He remembered what had happed last night. Matthews arms became tighter around Gil.

"mnnnnn...no..." His face scrunched, eyebrows coming together and he bit his lip. Was he having a nightmare again? Gilbert reached down and touched his shoulder.

"Mattie…Wake up, Mattie."

Matthew started awake "eh?" His eyes widened "G...Gil...?"

"Hey, you." Gilbert smiled, his eyes softening "Sleep well?"

Matthew's eyes widened, his indigo orbs staring into Gilbert's eyes.

"...That badly, huh?" Gilbert raised an eyebrow.

"...what are you..." Matthew blinked, then looked down, realizing he was clinging to Gilbert and them quickly moved away, blushing. "Erm...um...what..."

"Do you not remember last night?" Gilbert shook his head. "You really are a space case sometimes. Come on." He stood up and offered his hand to Matthew. "Let's make pancakes."

Matthew stared at his hand like it was some kind of alien, his eyebrows knitted together. He looked like he was trying to think…He blinked.

"No...i...so it really did happen...i...sorry. Yeah, pancakes sound good." He forced a smile.

Gilbert smiled at him and grabbed his hand, pulling Matthew out of his room and down the stairs. They entered the kitchen and Matthew was smiling, walking over to his fridge and pulling out ingredients, and then to his cabinets before beginning to mix them up into batter. He looked over his shoulder at Gilbert and smiled.

"What kind do you want?"

"What...kind of..." His eyes widened. "There's more than one type of pancake?"

Matthew laughed a bit. "Oui! Chocolate chip. Blueberry. Vanilla. Strawberry. And...more...haha or you can have the normal kind..."

Gilbert's eyes widened with the mention of each different type of pancake.

"Can I have all of them?" He questioned. Matthews smile became warm.

"I guess so. I think Ill have the strawberry with chocolate chips." He turned back to his mixing and continued cooking. Gilbert sat down and watched him, smiling.

"You seem better than last night."

"...Yeah. I guess I'm a bit better..." He looked at Gilbert with a forced smile "I..." He stopped. "Youre going to wear the same clothes to school that you wore yesterday...?"

The Prussian made a face.

"Are you going to school today? Because if you're not, neither am I."

"...Youre planning to spend the whole day here? why?"

Gilbert shrugged and smiled at him. Matthew looked away.

"Because you're in no position to be left alone. It's the least I can do. We're friends, right?"

"Fr-" Matthew paused and started pouring the batter into the pan. "Y...yeah…"

"You okay, Mattie?"

There was silence for a bit, and Gilbert noticed a slight redness to the Canadian's ears. Then Matthew stopped cooking the pancake and placed it on a plate. "Yeah" He finally answered. "erm...here is one pancake." As he handed the plate to Gilbert, he noticed that the Canadian's face was red. Though that thought only stayed in his mind for a brief moment before he focused back on the pancakes in front of him. Ahhhh Pancakes~

"Yay!"

"Your other one should be done soon..."

Gilbert looked up and pouted.

"But you need pancakes too!"

"i'll make it after yours are done!"

"But..."

"i dont want to make pancakes after eating mine..."

"Okay, fine." Gilbert looked down at the pancake, studying it.

"...Is it...okay?"

"I'm waiting for you," Gilbert stated, crossing his arms. Matthew rolled his eyes.

"come on..."

Matthew then returned to making pancakes, when he finally finished he turned the oven off and sat down across from Gilbert at the table and began to cut into his pancake. Gilbert began wating his pancakes, his eyes widening as he took the first bite "This…." He swallowed, his eyes glittering. "This is the best thing I have ever tasted." He ate the rest of the pancake. "Ever in my life."

"Oh..." Matthew blushed, which the Prussian couldn't help but think was adorable. "Th-thanks."

Gilbert grinned. "Can you make these for me forever? I seriously don't need to eat ever if it's just these."

"...you should still eat other things. but...sure..." He smiled and looked down at his plate, his face bright red.

"Yes!" Gilbert shot his fist into the air.

Matthew began to laugh, and then coughed.

"You okay, Mattie?"

Matthew took a breath "Y-yeah…you just got so excited!" He shook his head and laughed again. "so, what are we going to do all day today?"

Gilbert swallowed a massive bite of pancake "Well, since we're skipping...Maybe go out of town?"

The blond took a bite of his pancake and chewed it thoughtfully. "...hm...out of town? what then?"

"Just...driving around. Could be fun." Gilbert smiled.

"Meh."

"Well, what do you wanna do?"

"i dont know. driving around in a car all day doesnt sound fun though. haha what do you think?"

"Well, we could drive until we found a nice spot, and have lunch there."

Matthew laughed. "More pancakes?" He joked "And a crepe for dessert?"

Gilbert grinned.

"Oh, that would be delicious..."

"M'kay."

"You gonna be my housewife now?" He smirked.

"What?" Matthew pouted.

"Or are we gonna make the food together?"

"you can cook?" The Canadian teased.

"I can try." Gilbert smirked.

* * *

Pshhhhya~ Thank Bin, she is my Gilbert and these are basically the conversations that we have been having in character~ XD To be honest about a month ago I just wanted to drop Red Velvet. Call it an AlXMattie brother story, and be done with it because I didn't have any more inspiration. But thanks to Bin I am continuing! ^-^ So much more to come~! Remember to review guys! I love you and reviews make me happy! The more reviews the more likely I am going to post new chapters. ^-^


	17. Cross

DISCLAIMER: don't own Hetalia. Blahblahblah….

* * *

Alfred stepped off of the school bus, his body feeling heavy. Stupid life, stupid mom-making him go to school, stupid heart, stupid Arthur. Of course he knew that it would never work. He knew it….despite how much he tried not to know. He knew that Arthur would never feel the same way in the end.

"_And you just have to accept that."_ That….The complete rejection…Alfred hadn't felt completely rejected before, but this time…this time it was different…He was rejected. Period. All hope completely gone…

Stupid, no good, bushy browed, tea drinking, bumsuck, heart breaker….

Alfred bit his lip, feeling a lump in this throat.

Just stop thinking about it Alfred….

The American drew in a sharp breath and sat down on the bench outside of the school.

Maybe he should just skip his first class. And the one after that…

"Alfred?"

The American picked up his head to look up at the speaker of his name. No fire came into his eyes, no harsh words came to his lips, no hate stirred in his heart. Nothing…He just stared up at the Russian. Ivan's eyes widened slightly, his fingers twitching.

"What is wrong?"

Alfred felt the lump rise in his throat again. He didn't want to look weak in front of the Russian. Anyone but Ivan…

"Nothing" The crack in his voice betrayed his statement. Sometimes he really hated his emotions. They made him look girly and stupid…. So what if he had his heart broken? No big deal, he was a big boy. He could handle it. It really was nothing.

"It does not sound like nothing. Nor does it sound like it will BE nothing. Are you hurt Alfred?"

The blond bit his lips and looked away from the narrowed eyes of the Russian. He really WAS tough enough to handle it. He was fine. It was nothing. Nothing at all. Nothing.

"You are." Ivan's eyes continued to scan over him. "Not physically but….." His eyes narrowed a bit more. "Arthur?" Alfred jumped a bit at the mention of the Englishman's name.

"N-no…."

* * *

Matthew looked over at Gilbert as he drove. They didn't know where they were going, just that they were going somewhere. They didn't end up packing tons of pancakes, but sandwiches were good.

"Ah ha!" Matthew jumped.

"What?"

"That lake" Gilbert pointed to a small lake surrounded by trees. Matthew laughed, he looked so excited about finding the lake. They pulled over, got their stuff out of the truck and brought it to the edge of the lake and began eating their sandwiches. It was funny though, there had been times in the past when Matthew had gone on a picnic with his family. But never in December. Gilbert looked over at Matthew, swallowing a bite of his sandwich.

"So." He began. "What was up with last night?"

Matthew drew his own sandwich away from his mouth, and took a sharp breath in despite the fact that he was eating something. The sudden question had caught him off guard. What did Gilbert mean? The Canadian began to cough, choking on the bit of sandwich he was eating. Gilbert jumped and turned towards him, quickly patting his back.

"You okay?"

Matthew coughed, and tried to breathe in. He was choking… The blond tried to swallow while Gilbert hit his back again.

"Woah, breathe, Mattie."

Matthew gasped and swallowed, feeling the chunk slide down his chest extremely uncomfortably. " uh" He breathed, looking over at Gil and swallowing again. Was Gilbert talking about what Matthew had told him last night? Matthew had really told him? Oh no….

" I-l-last night was...that...it..." He stuttered "I...I'm sorry, I…..I….well that was…." He sucked in a deep breath. "I -i...sorry. You can just...pretend like i didnt say anything. i dont think anyone else knows. Alfred. but...he's my brother...my twin brother. it was...i just had a breakdown...I…sorry." He looked away. Gilbert probably thought differently about him now. Maybe he was only being his friend because he pitied him….that wouldn't be good. The only friend that Matthew ever made outside of family and he was just…Matthew bit his lip, and looked down at the ground.

"Hey, it's fine." Gilbert still looked a little worried about him- "If…You ever need to talk, call me or something. I'll be over in a flash." He smiled. Matthew tried to smile back, but just found his eyes growing wide and face turning red. The Canadian brought his food back up to his lips and took a bite.

"So...is your dad going to be angry with you?" He questioned.

"For not coming home last night and skipping school today?" Gilbert laughed and turned to the lake. "Probably. But I don't care. I got to spend it with you."He turned back and smiled at Matthew. " Right?"

Matthew looked away again and nodded, his stomach jumping. "Yeah...erm...he seems like the type who gets angry easily." He bit his lip. "You don't care? Are you two fighting or something?"

Gilbert fidgeted a little bit."I just...I've fought with him before. It always ends bad, but I've gotten used to it."

"Ends bad?" Matthew's eyes widened. "Are you okay? ...not that its any of my business..."

"It...Sometimes it gets a little out of hand." The albino shrugged. "It's not like I've never spent a night or two away from home when it gets really bad. He might yell at me when I get back, but it won't be horrible."

"He doesn't hurt you does he?" Matthew leaned forward, looking at Gilbert, concern clear in his eyes. "I mean...cause...that's not… good."

"I've been hit a few times, when I talk back to him. I just don't talk anymore."

Gilbert turned back to the lake and continued eating his sandwich.

"W-wait-he DOES hit you...?" Matthew touched Gilberts shoulder, finding himself getting upset. "That's-" He clenched his fists. "No..."

"Eh, it's not a big deal. I just shut up, and he leaves me alone. And besides….Its not like he means to hit me, or hits me hard. It's just something that he picked up from his parents." He smiled and shrugged again. "It's all good."

"But still..." Matthew pouted and backed away a little bit. "Well...you...you can come over to my house if you ever have a fight with him. cause...we're friends right?"

The Prussian paused. "Yeah." HE took a bite of his sandwich. "Yeah, we're friends."

"Why'd you pause?" Matthew looked back down at his food and took a bite. Why did he just ask that? He just assumed that Gilbert was his friend….of course it would be awkward to have to answer that question and answering anything but yes would be mean…Putting Gil in a situation like that….He was an idiot…

"No reason." He smiled, but it was hard to tell… "Of course we're friends."

Matthew bit his lip. He wanted to know more. Did Gilbert…. "Do you not want to be friends...?"

Gilberts eyes snapped to his.

"What? No, of course I want to be friends with you!" He gave Matthew a very serious look, swiping up one of the Canadian's hands. "You're awesome. I love being your friend, Mattie."

Matthew's father's face flashed across his eyes

"_I love you Matthew"_

He pulled away from Gilbert sharply, his eyes wide. Crap….He pulled his lips into his mouth and then released them. "Uh..mn...yeah." He forced a smile.

"You okay?" the albino raised an eyebrow.

"Wha- oh...y-yeah..." Matthew blushed and brought his knees up against his body. "Just...people touching me... I can't seem to...it's something i need to change...about me... I keep remembering..." He looked down. "stuff..." He paused and then took a breath back in, smiling at Gilbert.

"But its okay. I think I'll be able to get used to it..." He laughed bitterly. "Anyways..."

Gilbert gave him a wary look. "Okay."

"I'm really okay Gil. You don't need to worry about me...it's something that i need to get over. it really is...I...you know, I've never made any friends before. Because I'm so shy. most people just kind of forget that I'm there. like I'm invisible or something. So I didn't really have to think about dealing with it..."

"Well, I'll always be here for you." Matthew's eyes snapped towards Gilbert, who was smiling at him. "I'll never look through you." His heart skipped a beat.

"T-thankyou." He took a deep breath in, blushing. "i'llneverlookthroughyoueither!  
er...well...not that its easy to do..but...yeah..."

Gilbert smiled widely "Of course! No one could look through me! I'm too awesome for that. And if we're friends, my awesomeness has to rub off on you too!" He finished his sandwich.

"Y-yeah!" Matthew laughed. "You are pretty—" His eyes widened " pfffttt—" He began laughing. There was Mayo smeared all over Gilberts face. The more he looked at him the more he laughed. The albino gave him a confused look.

"You..." He shook his head and took another bits of his sandwich, finishing the rest of it.

"Yes, yes, I am a comedic genius. But seriously, what was so funny?"

Matthew giggled and pointed at his face.

He touched his face. "What? Do I have something on my face?"

Matthew nodded and taped the side of his mouth. Gilbert wiped his face and laughed.

"Better?"

The blond nodded.

* * *

Alfred grinned and adjusted his suit, strolling up to the front of the classroom. Ivan gave him a bit of a smirk in which the American returned full force. He turned to face Fili who was dressed in a black robe and sitting at his desk, playing the role of a judge. The Italian giggled and nodded for him to go. Alfred cleared his throat.

"Joseph Stalin, how are you today?"

Ivan raised an eyebrow.

"Well."

"Very good." He smiled politely. "You state that you are the duly elected leader of the communist party-duly meaning that it is "as it should be"- am i correct?" The Russian smirked.

"If that is what they call me, I won't object. They are free to call me whatever they wish."

"Your people call you the "shining sun", "the staff of life", a "great teacher and friend", the "hope of the future for the workers and peasants of the world" and the "genius of mankind, the greatest genius of all times and peoples." Alfred smiled and went on.

"If they say so, it must be true, da?" Fili giggled and Alfred frowned at him.

"Even though you are not trustworthy, and your word cannot be trusted." Ivan frowned, the American continued. "Now Mr Stalin, you are fairly open and honest about that fact that you didn't like FDR, correct?"

"Da."

"And when you met with FDR at Yalta and Truman at Potsdam, you experienced difficulties in coming to certain agreement about the post war world, correct?" He smiled.

"Yes."

"And AT Yalta, you had promised that you would allow eastern Europe free elections, correct?"

"And, you didn't do that now did you?"

"No. But I had no choice, I saw what the Democracy was doing to the other countries and I believed that communism was what was best for those countries. It was the only thing that seemed to help Russia—" Alfred was beginning to get upset. What did the stupid commie think that he was doing? He wasn't allowed to do this. He was supposed to be playing into his hands….

"It was a yes or no question"

Ivan shrugged.

"No."

"And now, at Potsdam, Stalin, you TOLD Truman to use the bomb on the Japanese." The American took in a deep breath and smiled. He had him now, there was no way that he could deny this. If he tried to Alfred would have him read from his affidavit. He was going to get him here!

"I told him to you _a_ bomb, not the atomic bomb, I did not even know that the U.S had such a bomb."

Alfred bit his lip, the anger growing in him.

"but you still told him to use it against the Japanese."

He shook his head.

"Da…."

"And yet you are still trying to say right now that FDR should not have used this bomb on the japanese. Mr Stalin, make up your mind. How can one trust someone whose story has been switched around so much?"

There was a silence, and Alfred was beginning to feel uncomfortable. His script wasn't exactly working…..crapcrapcrap…. He looked at Fili, who looked a bit uncomfortable himself. The American bit his lip. Agh…he was an idiot….He took a breath in, and looked at his paper again.

"Y-you know full well that the Japanese would not have surrendered even if they knew that Russia was joining the war. Sure they would be more frightened, but they had no intention of ever stepping down."

"The Japanese would have surrendered, and if not Russia was prepared to go in there and make them surrender. We did not need the Americans, you knew full well that if the Russians joined against them they would have surrendered."

"Mr Stalin. You believe that the dropping of this atomic bomb took more lives than it saved?" Alfred cut in quickly, his throat dry. Ivan smiled at him. "Well, I beg to differ."

"you can beg, but it will not differ." The Russian smirked. Alfred growled and moved onto the next question.

"If the bomb was not dropped America, in order to bring the Japanese to a stop would have to have to land on the islands and fight with them, Japanese fighters-called kamakaze- were doing suicide attacts on the US fighters. This would have taken many lives. 250,000 at the very least, going into possible millions. THAT is a very high number of deaths, am i wrong?"

There was no response aside Fili biting his lip and looking over at him, shaking his head.

"A…Alfred…" Nervously, the American swallowed and continued. "You aren't…allowed to just state facts…." His heart began to race a bit.

"Japan knew that Russia would not renew its neutrality pact with them. They knew that America was fighting against them. they had many enemies, they had every reason to just give up, they had been through enough. But they would not. to surrender was dishonorable. even the foreign minister Shegenori Togo states "If the bomb was never dropped they would never have surrendered" Never. They would have kept fighting until every one of them was dead. they would have killed themselves. If not for the bomb forcing japan to its knees, there is a possibility that it would have kept going until it completely exhausted and destroyed itself. Togo confirms this. So I will ask you again Stalin, Did the bomb cost more lives than it saved?"

He was shaking….

"Nyet. They would have surrendered in October if you had done nothing. They would have had no way of continuing. There was no need for the bomb."

"O-Okay, and did you not plan to take over Japan for yourself after this war?" Alfred swallowed. Glancing down at his paper, slowly losing hope…

"You could say that."

"Yes, for the purpose of expanding your communism farther than it already is- IN the places you PROMISED to let have elections and whatever government that they wanted. Cor-rect?"

"I already answered that Alfred, you look a bit nervous." He smirked.

"Y-you even state in your affidavit that communism will "eventually triumph in the world." Sounds like something said by a cheesy villain Mr Stalin. And you also state that America has made an enemy. *smirks* Is that a threat Stalin?" His voice was shaking. Shit!

"Nyet. It is not."

"So you are threatening the US. It says clearly that "and by your actions you lost a potential ally and made an enemy." Enemy. Mr Stalin, what is it that you DO to your enemies? In any case you try to hurt them, but in YOURS? You kill them, don't you?"

"A-Alfred…" Fili bit his lip and stood up. "I…think you should wrap up….now…Stalin doesn't have to answer this…." Alfred nodded and swallowed.

"N-Now Stalin, you did not like having enemies now do you?"

"Nyet, but who does?" Ivan smiled.

"And you say that you, Russia, are the ones who did most of the work in the war." Alfred licked his lips, his fingers curling and uncurling.

"Da."

"Well, was it not the Americans who brought the German troops back to their borders? was it not the AMERICANS who when they entered the war, brought Germany to his knees and forced a surrender?"

"I suppose…"

"And you STILL say that trumans decision to drop the bomb was a bad one. *shakes head* even when you SAID to use the bomb, even when you AGREE that the Japanese wouldn't have stopped without it. Even if you AGREE that the bomb saved more lives than it took?"

"I already explained why."

"Your honor, I have no further questions." Alfred swallowed and looked at Fili, then moved to sit down at his desk. Running his fingers through his hair and letting out a big breath.

Damnit…..

* * *

Alfred slammed his fist down on the fence. FUCK!

He had done horribly! He'd been so damn excited about it…he had been so fucking confident….

Fuck fuck FUCK!

It wasn't fair…. He had been so ready….and now it ws over and he had been horrible…..

"AGH!" He kicked the fence and looped his fingers through it, turning his head down and looking at the rooftop. He was such an idiot….

A stupid useless—

"Alfred—" A hand fell on his shoulder. Alfred whipped around to face Ivan, glaring at him.

"What?" His voice broke.

"Are you…." The Russians hand came up and rested on Alfred's face. "I'm sorry. It is my fault, da?" Alfred looked away.

"Shutup. I'm just stupid."

"No, you're not."

"Yes I am!" He growled, ripping himself away from the Russian and walking the other way.

"No." Ivan grabbed his wrist and turned him around, a hand resting on his waist. "You aren't Alfred. Don't you dare say that you are." Alfred tried to tug away from him, but was just pulled in closer to the Russian. Ivan was just trying to make him feel better—

Why was Ivan trying to make him feel better?

It didn't matter. The stupid Russian was just making things worse. Stupid idiot….Alfred was such an idiot….

"Shut up!"

"Nyet." Ivan placed a hand under his chin, lifting his face up to his. "It is you who must shut up. Utter one more lie about how stupid you are and I will kiss you."

"It's not a lie!" Alfred clenched his fists, his nose beginning to prickle. The Russian's violet eyes blazed and he moved his face closer, crushing his mouth against Alfred. What the hell? The American's mind began to whirl. Ivan was kissing him….he was kissing him…..he was…agn…. His eyes fluttered closed and he felt tears begin to sting him. Damnit….

Ivan pulled away, leaving the American gasping.

"I told you."

Alfred nodded, throat tightening. The tears were coming up. Why now? Why…. He wrapped his arms around Ivan's neck, pressing his lips against the Russian's. He clung to him, feeling the hot tears slip down his cheeks. Everything….he wanted it gone…. He moved his mouth away, breathing heavily. Ivans fingers moved to his face, wiping away the tears.

"Why are you crying?"

"Shuddup."

Alfred kissed him again.

* * *

Alrighty guys! Another chapter! Yeah! Okay, so let me know. What did you think about this one? I promise you PROMISE that the next one is VERY…..*smirks* well let's just say it involves a "Winter Ball" So tell me. How badly can you not wait for it? Review and I shall see what I can do! ;b love you guys!


	18. The Winter Dance

DISCLAIMER: Dont own hetalia blahblahblah...yeah

sorry for that little bit of delay. guess what guys? I got my permit! Not that you really care...but yeah~ haha This is a long chapter! Full of Rpucan and AmeRuss~ hope you like it!

December

* * *

Gilbert walked down the hallway, unable to keep himself from seeing those stupid posters. A stupid dance was coming up…the week before the week they left for winter break… A dance which he wanted to go to but….would have no date to…It was so not awesome… There were times when he would think about asking Matthew. But would Matthew go to a dance with him as his date? That HAD been spending lots of time together lately….Almost every day for a month or two now… And it wasn't like Gilbert was beginning to develop feelings for him or something they were just friends. Good friends. Best friends…

Yeah….they could go as friends! Besides, everyone that he knew had dates and Matthew was the only one he knew that didn't have a date. So it wouldn't be creepy.

No.

It would be awesome!

Yeah…. He continued walking down the hallway before noticing the blond hair with that little bouncing curl that just seemed to pop from his head. I Gilbert's opinion, it was absolutely adorable. He stepped up to the Canadian, a grin spreading over his face.

"Hey, Mattie!"

He turned around, startled and then grinned widely.

"hey gil!"

"Hey." He rubbed at the back of his neck. Crap….how was he going to say this? "A-Are you going to the dance before winter break?"

He tilted his head to the side, his smile shifting a bit. "No." He chuckled. "Maybe. I'm not sure yet, it kind of requires a date and...Alfred is going with Ivan so I can't ask my brother to go with me and I'm not dating anyone...so...I don't have...a date..." He looked like he was confusing himself…could it be that he didn't know how this sort of thing worked? Gilbert had to stop himself from laughing a bit. How convenient.

"Well, I don't exactly have a date either. And I was so excited to go, too...I was planning on going with...well, it doesn't matter. They found themselves someone better." He shrugged. "What if someone asks you? What would you say?"

"Wait" Matthew paused, ignoring Gilbert's last question. "Who were you planning on going with?"

Erm…..okay act cool Gilbert. Cool. Awesome.

"It's nothing, really." He smiled, playing along. "I was gonna ask," He paused. Act cool.  
"but...you know, I saw him talking with someone about how he had a date, so...scratched that idea." The albino shrugged and then looked at Matthew who seemed a little confused.

"You..." He blinked. "You're interested in someone? who?"

"Well, I was just planning on going as friends, you know, but being rejected, even second hand, feels bad. I'd still like to go, I just don't know who to bring."

"Who was it though?" Matthew seemed to be getting a bit flustered.

Gilbert swallowed, a bit uncomfortable with the blonde's questioning…"It's nothing, okay?"

Matthew bit his lip. "Well...if you want to go..." He looked to the floor, seeimg to find something VERY interesting on it. "Y-you can always ask me if you want...we can go as friends! If you still want to go that is..."

Gilbert was a bit started. Really? Like…really? Was Matthew asking him to ask him. Or maybe it was just an honest 'want to go as friends because I have no one else to go with' kind of thing….? Fuck it. Gilbert was still going to jump at the chance since it was given to him.

" Really? You'd go with me?" Act cool Gil! He shrugged and looked to the side a bit, quickly saying."As friends, of course."

Matthew's eyes snapped up and then went back down and he nodded. "Yeah." He smiled. "We ARE friends after all. B-best friends...right?" he blushed.

"Yeah, of course!" He grinned. "I love..." He cut off, his mind drifting away. What was he going to say? He loves…. Loves… "...spending time with you." He finished lamely.

Matthew's face began to get red, his eyes widening slightly. "So...Friday? are you coming to my house...or should I go to yours?"

"Either." Gilbert smiled. "So~What are you gonna wear? I wanna match so we'll look good. Just because we're friends doesn't mean we can't look awesome!"

"It's a semi-formal right?...are we…. supposed to match?" He tilted his head to the side a bit.

"Matching could be nice. You gotta nice pair of pants, a shirt, and a jacket? We could do a casual suit sort of thing..." he was already thinking up awesome outfits that they would wear and be awesome in.

"Hmmmmm..." Matthew bit his lip. "Well my er…father had a whole mess of suits, you could come over and we could go through them..."

"Sure! When do you want me to come over?" Gilbert grinned.

"Well you're welcome to come over whenever you want to! Tonight, tomorrow." He shrugged, smiling at the Prussian. "Whenever is fine. Better to do it sooner though right?"

"Yeah. Let's go to your house tonight!"

* * *

Alfred was slammed against the wall a pair of very pissed off violet eyes on him.

"You are going to the dance with him."

Alfred really just wanted to get away…..She was crazy…she was going to kill him….oh shit oh shit oh shit….He bit his lip and looked at Ivan's sister.

"Look…Nat….Erm….I really didn't have a choice, ya see… Ivan kind of…"

"Are you trying to say that brother forced you?" She raised him onto his tip toes by his shirt her eyes still storming.

"Well….ahn….Kind of…?" He tried to throw her a charming smile, but she just continued to look like she was going to kill him in the next couple of seconds…Which….he wouldn't put past her. At all actually.

"Kind of?" She hissed her eyes becoming more and more stormy. Damn…. This girl had the worst brother complex that Alfred had ever seen…it was like….she was actually in love with him or something.

"Erm…well…Ivan was kind of like 'we're going' and I couldn't say" He swallowed. "…no…?"

"Are you trying to say that MY darling brother actually _wanted_ to bring a filthy American such as _you_? Nyet. I do not think that lying to me is a very good choice. Al-fred."

And he was lifted off of the ground.

"Whoa! I'm not lying! I swear! I'm not!"

"Shut up."

He snapped his mouth shut. Fuck she was scary….ahn….

"Now tell me what really happened." A creepy smile spread over her face. "You forced my brother to go with you, didn't you."

"No!"

She snarled at him.

"I swear!"

_Yeah…she's gonna kill me…shit…shit…shit…_

"Natalia." Alfred was thrown to the ground, the blond turned and looked up at Ivan, smiling and acting all innocent. Crazy bitch.

"Yes brother?" Her tone was completely different than before. It was all cherry and sweet. Ugh.

"Why are you bothering Alfred?" Ivan DID NOT look amused.

"But brother, he was bothering you…."

"Nyet. If anything _I_ bother _him_."

"Yeah!" Alfred agreed, scrambling up to his feet. Ivan raised an eyebrow at him.

"But…" The blond girl began, moving closer to Ivan. "Brother…."

"Nyet." Ivan barked, causing her to flinch. The Russian sighed and placed a hand on her cheek. "Natalia… you cannot harm Alfred." Her brow scrunched.

"But—"

"No."

She pouted and then wrapped her arms around him.

"Fine. I wont hurt him if you don't want me to."

"Or harass him?"

"I cannot promise you that big brother."

Ivan sighed and pat her head.

"Please do not harm him in any way dear Natalia."

She didn't respond aside nuzzling into his touch.

* * *

It was Thursday. Tomorrow was the day of the dance….! Matthew sat in his bed, biting his lip and writing in his journal. It was an old habit. His councilor had made him start one when he was little, he didn't write every day. But he did write at least once every two or so weeks. It was good to be able to get his thought out and onto paper. Though…he tried not to think about what someone would say if they found the beat up old notebook…It had everything in it. And man, right now he felt like such a girl.

He blushed at his writing, but continued anyways. He hoped that he would be able to sort at least a little bit out by writing it all down:

_But I don't understand it really...Giil is different...he...do I like him? I mean. Of course I do...He's my best friend. But I think it—_

He stopped writing, blushing madly, his heart beginning to beat wildly.

"Do I...really feel...like _that_ towards him...?"

* * *

Gilbert plopped him self down on his bed, turning over and looking up at the ceiling. Man…

_I know I'm going to the dance with him as friends, but...Ugh!_

He rolled over and put his face in his pillow.

_What do I do?_

* * *

Matthew glanced over at his phone.

_That's strange...Gil hasn't called yet tonight..._

* * *

Gilbert grabbed his phone and looked at the screen. His finger hovering over the speed dial that would call Matthew. But…With everything that was going on in his head….What was he to do?

_Should I call or would I fuck up our friendship by talking to him…..?_

He put his phone down. He wanted to talk to Matthew. It was weird not talking to him, they talked every night on the phone. But…He couldn't help but want to ask him how he felt about him. If they really were just going to the dance…. As friends. And just that. Maybe he wanted to be his date…

_ERGH!_

He punched his headboard, then let out a hiss.

"Ouch…"

_Well….better go and get some ice..._

* * *

Matthew turned over again and grabbed his phone.

_Fine. I'll call him instead. _

* * *

Gilbert walked up the stairs speeding up as he heard the ring of his phone. He dove onto the bed and picked it up "Hello?" Owwwwww…..he shook out his hand and then placed the ice pack on it. A voice came from the other end of the phone, quick and desperate.

"Gil?"

Mattie? What was that tone in his voice?

"What's wrong?"

"I...um...n...nothing...we...i mean..." the line went silent, making Gilbert extremely nervous. "N-nevermind." Matthew murmured. "We're just... best friends right?"

"Well, you are kind of my best friend, so yeah." He frowned. "Why?" Why was he asking if they were best friends? It's not like he didn't know that.

"...oh...okay. yeah. I just...sorry. so-what're you up to?"

Gilbert smiled.

"Just icing this bruise on my hand." He flexed his hand and winced. "Think I cracked something."

There was heavy sigh from the other end of the phone. "What made you punch a wall this time?" Gilbert laughed. Oh Matthew knew him far too well~

"It was actually my headboard." He smirked. "Dad got mad the last time I punched a wall. Made a hole in it, actually. But my headboard's solid walnut."

"Nice..." Gilbert could hear the smile in the Canadian's voice, making his own smile widen. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah." He hissed a bit, flexing his hand again. "I'll be fine. A little bruised, but fine. What about you? What's up?"

"Nothing. Just...sitting in bed..."

The albino smiled. "How was your day?"

"G...good. And yours?"

"Pretty good." He jumped off of his bed and walked towards his desk, touching the CD he bought. "Got some new music for us to listen to."

"Really? who?"

"Entrain. You know them?"

"No, actually." He laughed. "Are they good?"

"Yeah. They're pretty drum-heavy, but they're nice for dancing to or rocking out or whatever. Not my usual jam, but still awesome."

"Dancing…." He paused. "Are you ready for the dance tomorrow night?"

"So ready." He grinned "I know what I'm going to do with my hair and everything."

"I'll be over your house around 6:30 cause it starts at 7. so...yeah..."

"Oh, no, I'm going to pick you up. I want the pleasure of watching you walk down the stairs in all your glory just like any other date to a dance." Gilbert grinned.

There was a long silence on the other end. Crap. Damnit! Did he just ruin everything? Maybe Matthew didn't want to be his date….shitshitshit….! Gilbert bit his lip and spoke up quickly.

"I mean, it's not a _date_ date if you don't want it to be or whatever." He could feel the blush spreading over his face. Agh. Stupid….

"N-no! I mean...er..." Music started in the background. "Yeah. T-these people are good." He paused. " nice beats."

"Yeah." The Prussian smiled. "Glad you like 'em."

"Mn...well...I should probably go. Good night Gil."

Gilbert wanted to tell him to talk with him a little longer. He didn't like leaving the conversation with that awkward tension still in the air. He just…wanted to talk to Mattie and laugh about random crap. And it was only 8:34. The fuck? Matthew was going to bed THIS early…? They usually stayed up for hours, talking until one of them fell asleep or got too tired and hung up. Gilbert bit his lip and then was reminded by the feeling of his phone against his ear that he was still on the phone with the Canadian. Shit-

"Night, Mattie." He smiled. "See you tomorrow."

* * *

"Yeah." Matthew smiled. "You will."

He hung up the phone with the strange urge to say something more to the albino. But…It was fine. Saying anything more may have been a bad move. A bad move indeed….Gilbert HAD only did that they were just friends. Nothing more…at all…But it wasn't like Matthew wanted anything more…

The blond sighed and moved to plug his phone in, then lay down. It wasn't late….he wasn't tired…..he was….excited. Really, really excited. The kind of excited that keeps children awake all hours of the night on Christmas Eve and if they do fall asleep for a little bit that wake up early the next morning.

He closed his eyes.

_Sleep Matthew….sleep and then you can wake up and be in tomorrow…_

He smiled a bit. Tomorrow with Gil. At the dance.

N-not that he was excited about that kind of thing….

They were just going as friends.

* * *

The night took far too long to get there and when it did, it came far too soon. Was he ready to go? Matthew kept glancing at his phone, waiting for the text from Gilbert saying that he was there. He couldn't help but play with his tie and smooth his hair down every five seconds. He was also practically bouncing up and down on his bed…. He was really, really nervous.

He was wearing suit pants with a white dress shirt, black vest and purple tie. Gilbert had said that he wasn't going to wear the vest, but that was okay, that they would still look awesome. Matthew smiled at the memory of picking out clothes to wear then blushed. He shouldn't th—

His cell phone vibrated, making him jump and then grab for it. His heart skipped a beat. Gil!

_[ Here. Come down, kay?]_

The blond jumped off of his bed, tripped and then fell... Red raced, he stood back up and looked in the mirror. That stupid curl had come out again. It really made to sense….It was annoying and just wouldn't smooth down….he grabbed the hair product on his dresser table and put it in his hand, smoothing the curl down once again in an attempt to tame it. Why wouldn't it just— he moved his hand away and grinned. It stayed!

Matthew stepped out of his room and walked down the hall and towards the stairs mumbling "did i forget anything?' He continued walking down the stairs before seeing Gil at the end. He blushed, feeling his curl pop back out again. Damnit! He tried to push it back, his face red and his heart pounding.

_Gil looks...amazing... _

"H...Hey..." he tried to breathe.

Gil's hair was slicked back messily, but still really attractive, he wore a white dress shirt with its sleeves rolled up a bit, and black tight-fitting suit pants

"Hey." He smiled. "You look great."

Agh, Matthew felt like they were in some cheesy old movie where the couple was going to prom or something. The only thing missing was a hovering parent….The Canadian swallowed and nodded.

"Th-Thank-yeah...you...you too..." Ah! He could feel his face getting hotter and hotter. He really didn't want Gilbert to see him blushing this much! Quickly he rushed past the albino. But Gilbert just smirked and caught his arm.

"Where are you running off to? Car's that way." He pointed in the opposite direction, towards the front door. Shit….Matthew had been on his way to the kitchen….His blush deepened.

"... I…." He nodded and then felt Gilbert's hand slide down into his own, squeezing it lightly and smiling.

" You Ready?"

"M-mnnmhnn…." He nodded.

_AHH! Why am I reacting like this?_

His heart beating a mile a minute, the two of them walked out of the house, and Matthew shut and locked the door.

* * *

Alfred blushed as Ivan pulled him in, his hand cupping the bottom of his chin, the Russian still swaying a bit to the song playing in the other room.

"I-Ivan…." He looked away, having found out a little while ago that it was basically impossible to move from the Russian's iron grip.

"You look cute when you blush" He commented.

Alfred took a deep breath in. God damnit! Why was Ivan fucking with him like this.

"That's great." He tried to keep his voice even.

"You look attractive no matter what." He complimented again. Alfred swallowed.

"B-baby I know."

A sweet smile spread over the Russian's face making the American's heart skip a beat.

"Can I kiss you?" He questioned suddenly. Alfred blinked and then tried to pull away.

"F-fuck you!"

"I would love to. Here?" Alfred's eyes widened, because he knew that the Russian would actually do it.

"No!"

"Then at your house?"

"No!"

"Well if we go to mine Natalia might be there…"

Alfred placed his hands on Ivan's chest and tried to push him away.

"What the FUCK Ivan. No! Are you drunk or something?"

The Russian laughed and kissed him lightly on the corner of the mouth.

"Nyet. I know better than to touch the punch." He kissed the other side of Alfred's mouth.

"Th-then wh-why are you acting like this?" Alfred shivered as the other's hand went up the back of his shirt, tracing little patterns on his skin with the tips of his fingers.

"Because." He kissed his jaw.

"That's not a good reason."

Ivan pulled away and looked at him, his violet eyes smoldering. Alfred felt his lips part slightly.

"Because." He responded again, moving down farther and kissing Alfred's neck, lightly sucking on his skin. The American shuddered, his fingers curling into the fabric of Ivan's dress shirt. He felt the Russian smile.

"Agn…" Alfred's eyes fluttered closed as the Russian continued to work at his neck. Fuck…why was he so damn sensitive…..? Taking the noise as a sign that he could go farther, Ivan began to move Alfred backwards, until the American bumped against the wall and was pressed further into it by Ivan. "Ah!" Ivans fingers trailed over his body, his hand drifting right above his pants. Where the fuck did Ivan fucking learn this stuff…?

"You like this." The Russian pulled away, his eyes gleaming.

"S-shut up!"

Ivan grinned and looked around, sliding his hand into the American's and beginning to pull him down the hall. Alfred suddenly and awkwardly realized that his pants were extremely tight and the first three buttons of his shirt were…not buttoned….

"Let's go."

"Wh—"

* * *

Matthew took another sip of the punch. It was really good. Sweet and…Interesting…Though the taste was slightly familiar…It made him feel like…weird…really weird… he shrugged it off though.

Gilbert was standing a little bit away, looting like he was searching for someone. Probably Matthew. The Canadian smirked and walked up behind him, sliding his arms around his waist and whispering in his ear.

"Wanna dance Gil?"

The Prussian leaned back against him.

"Sure." He smirked and turned around, taking Matthew's hand and leading him to the dance floor. Matthew's smirk grew wider and he took control of the dance. It was slow dance, and he had his fingers twined in Gilbert's hair, his face extremely close to the albino's.

* * *

"So," Matthew began, looking at Gilbert again with those eyes….those EYES which could only be described as bedroom eyes. Ahn…fuck…. "Are you ever going to tell me who you originally were going to ask?" He continued, smiling deviously.

"Ah—" Gilbert's breath caught in his throat. The only thing that he could think about at the moment was pulling The Canadian into a corner and thoroughly ravishing him. He blinked and swallowed, trying to clear his mind of the pictures of himself and Matthew. "W-Why are you so eager to know?" He smirked.

Matthew smirked at him, moving his face closer and letting his lips brush against Gilbert's ear, his voice hushed down to a whisper. "Just… wondering."

Gilbert shivered and his hands clenched the back of Mattie's shirt tighter-

"W-why?"

Matthew chuckled lightly and moved his lips down to the Prussian's neck and kissed it lightly. "Could it have been perhaps..." He smiled and met eyes with Gilbert. "Me?"

"Damn, Mattie." He took the Canadian's face in his hands and tilted it upwards towards his, their lips mere centimeter apart. "What's gotten into you tonight?"

Matthew smirked (Seductively! Damnit!) "Nothing," to Gilbert's surprise he brought their lips together briefly. "Yet." When he pulled away his eyes were sparkling.

Gilberts eyes were still closed and he shivered, and pressed closer to Matthew, trying to extend the kiss, then pulled back at little- "What's gotten into me?" He looked down "You really wanna know who I was gonna ask?"

Lightly, the blonde kissed him on the cheek, sending shivers down Gilbert's body. "That's what I asked for." He smiled deviously. "Wasn't it?"

Gilbert blushed and met eyes with him. "You." He said quickly. "I was gonna ask you, okay?"

Matthew smirked, and pulled him in for a kiss again, breaking away far too soon. "I was gonna ask you too, but I'm in a bit of a shell and don't know how to express my emotions. Honestly I'm not sure what this feeling is…" He moved his lips to Gilbert's ear again. "But I like it for once."

Gilbert smiled and shivered again. "That's good."

The song changed, becoming faster. Gilbert was a bit relieved, but he could see Matthew frowing and glaring at the DJ. With a smile he wrapped an arm around his neck, pulling Matthew closer.

"Aw, what's wrong with faster music?" He questioned, trying to pout, but smirking instead.

Mathew blushed a little and looked away mumbling, "N-nothing...I just...don't know how to dance to faster ones."

Gilbert grinned. Now dancing. THAT was something that he was awesome at! He placed his hands on Matthew's his and began to sway them in rhythm to the music "This is how. I'll show you." He guided Matthew.

Blush quickly spread over Matthew's face. "E-erm..."

"Come on, You can do it..." He smiled.

Matthew began to dance, missing the beat a bit at first, but then getting it, his movement still awkward. "L-like this?"

Gilbert smiled and tried to guide him more, "C'mon," He murmured "Closer..."

Matthew sucked in a deep breath and began to moved closer to the Prussian. Gilbert grinned. Nice!

"There ya go." He began to grind up against him. Matthew moved away his eyes wide and his face red.

"I...er...bathroom." He pointed. Gilbert pouted.

"Really?" He grumbled. "Fine. I'll find someone else to dance with for this song." Matthew glared at him and then rushed to the bathroom.

* * *

The blond turned on the water and threw some onto his face….he didn't… feel very well…..at all… he sucked in a deep breath. "Mmnn..." He groaned. What was wrong with him? His vision was a little hazy too… he took a deep breath in and looked in the mirror, playing with his curl then decided to just leave the bathroom. He would feel better around Gil anyways…

Once he re-entered the dance floor he looked around….Where was Gilbert…? After a little bit more searching he decided to just wander back to the punch bowl and have another cup.

"MATTIE?" He heard his name being called and smiled as the white hair came into view. Taking his last sip of punch, he walked up to Gilbert and leaned into his ear.

"Looking for someone?" He murmured. Gilbert jumped a bit and turned around, smiling at the Canadian.

"Yeah, silly. You."

Matthew smiled and did a little bow. "Well search no longer." He wrapped his arms around his waist and pulled him closer. "You've got me"

Gilbert smiled warmly, moving his face closer to Matthew's. "Good. I only _want_ you right now."

Matthew smiled. "Really now?"

Gilbert kissed his nose. "Really."

He giggled. "Then you'll just have to hold onto me." The Prussian's eyes softened and he kissed the blond quickly.

" That's what I'm planning on doing."

Matthew closed his eyes and nuzzled into Gilbert's neck. "M'kay." He yawned.

"You getting tired?" Gilbert smirked.

Matthew nodded. "We…We should go home...to my house." As he talked his lips were moving on Gilbert's neck, just below his ear. Gilbert shuddered.

" Okay." He said quickly. "Let's go."

He lead him outside and to his car.

* * *

Gilbert opened the door to the Canadian's house, Matthew walking sleepily behind him. "We're here."

Matthew blinked and looked around, turning the light on. "Mom isn't here..."

"Did you think she would be?" He asked, slightly confused.

Matthew blinked and then shook his head. "Well…. She's not usually home Friday nights...so...I guess no..." He laughed. "So, are you hungry?"

"Not really. I ate a bit at the dance, so I'm good." He smiled, "What about you?"

"I think…" He scrunched his brow. "That I should eat something? I feel like I should..." He laughed lightly. "I'm not sure. That punch made me feel a bit odd." He licked his lips. "You sure you don't want anything?"

Gilbert didn't really hear what Matthew had just said, he was too busy thinking about…other things… He blinked, trying to remember that the last thing he said was….Probably something about him wanting something. The albino shrugged and smiled at Matthew.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Maybe some water?" Matthew smiled back at him and walked into the kitchen, grabbing a water out and tossing it to Gilbert, then rummaging around some more.

Gilbert opened the beverage and brought it to his lips, downing it quickly.

"Mmmm..." He smiled. "I was totally dehydrated."

"Hmmn...do you want more?"

"Nah, that was good. I never drink anything at those dances anyways."

Matthew shrugged and pulled out an apple, looking at it. "Hmnnn... I think this is what I want." He nodded and closed the fridge, sitting down across from Gil and continued to eat the apple.

Gilbert leaned back in the chair and sighed, smiling at Matthew. "Well, tonight was fun. Taught you how to dance and everything." He winked.

"Mmnnn dancing was fun, but...I prefer the slow dances much more... they're fun." He smirked and placed the apple down.

Gilbert smirked back. "We can always dance again..."

Matthew stood up and crossed over to Gilbert. "That could be very fun. But...where is our music?"

Gilbert tapped his fingers against his leg and thought about it.

"You have a speaker system?"

Matthew moved his face closer, his lips centimeters apart from Gilbert's for the second time that night. "Of course." He moved away teasingly, and went to turn on the music. It began playing a slow song.

"Perfect" Gilbert grinned and began to walk over to Matthew, smiling lightly. The Canadian's eyes widened as he looked at Gilbert and he blushed, looking away from him. Gilbert laughed and touched Matthew's face, tilting it back to face his. "Come on, now. You gonna dance, or blush?" Matthew bit his lipm smiling sheepishly up at Gil.

"...Both?"

Gilbert smiled back and took his hand, starting the dance, feeling Matthew's arms slide up around his neck.

"Do you know what song this is?" The Canadian questioned.

"For once, no." He smiled. "Care to enlighten me?"

"I have no idea. But..." Mathhew ran his fingers gently through Gilbert's hair. "It doesn't matter, we can always find out later."

"I like that idea." Gilbert grinned and twirled Matthew in a circle, causing the other to laugh like a child and as he came back in, landed with his face close to Gilbert's. A devious look passed over his features.

"What?" Gilbert smiled gently.

"You..."Matthew pressed their lips together and then chuckled once again, grabbing Gil's hand and leading him up the stairs.

* * *

Hehehe~ I'm horribel arent i? leaving you all with so much tension and suspension! haHA yeah~ this chapter was fun but too hot in my room to enjoy writing...rawr. why summer, why must you be so hot! haha so~ next chapter i am having another friend come in and help me. she is really REALLY good with a certain type of writing that i will need for the next chapter *winks* if you know what im saying. Her name is AliceInk or Flow16 on deviantart. *gins* so let me know what you think! the more reviews the quicker your updates! unless they are really really long, or something is going on. haha so yeah! Also, any suggestions as to what that song should be that Gil and Mattie danced to? also! sorry for the time skip, i had thing i wanted to get done that needed time in order to happen. I am getting impatient as i am sure you all were as well. haha So if you are excited for the next chapter~ Review! Let me know your thoughts! What do you think is gonna happen? what do you want to happen? talk to me! review my precious readers, review! ^-^ haha love you all!


	19. Sanctuary

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Hetalia

ngh...f*ck. sorry guys, i am SO sorry! Like...really...i intended to hae this chapter up a WHILE ago...here it is now. its really long. enjoy! / lots of sexy times.

Warning: may cause nose bleeds.

Love you guys!

* * *

Matthew smirked, pulling the half dazed Prussian into the bedroom, and shut the door. Gilberts eyes widened slightly as the Canadian's lips drew up into a devious-and VERY FUCKING SEDUCTIVE smirk. the prussian swallowed and casually brushed off his shirt.

"So..." He gave the other a half smile. "What did you have in mind up here?"

Matthew took a step forward, his gaze absolutely smoldering. Gilbert swallowed as the blond made his way closer and closer, until his hand slid teasingly down the albino's face, the look in his eyes burning Gilbert up. _fuck..._ "What are you thinking?" Matthew teased, making his voice oh-so-sweet. Gilbert couldn't help it. He really couldn't. It was horrible, but he imagined himself just ripping Matthews clothes off of his body and just throwing the blond onto the bed. But he couldn't do that. not to Mattie... But he just couldn't resist the urge to touch him. No. He NEEDED to touch Matthew. His skin was burning. Gilbert swallowed, moving against the Canadian and wrapping his arms around his waist, and kissed his neck lightly.

"Mm, not sure." He felt his lips vibrate against that soft feverish skin. "S'your house, after all." His heart was speeding up, going even faster as the Canadian pulled him in and then pushed him back. For a second Gilbert was just falling, but then he hit the other teens soft mattress and let out a short gasp before the blond was almost on top of him, though he was only standing there.

"Mmnnn..." Matthew smirked and licked his lips, sending shivers down Gilbert's spine. "So it is..."

The Prussian reached out, grabbing ahold of Matthew's tie and pulling the blond down as he lay down on the bed. Matthew landed skillfully on top of him, smiling down at the albino with sparkling eyes. He leaned down slowly, brushing his lips against Gilbert's neck lightly and then beginning to nip lightly at it, trailing to different places. When Gilbert drew in a breath he felt Matthew chuckle and begin to suck harder, running his tongue in patterns across his neck, right near his ear and even going up and gently sucking on his ear lobe.

"Ahn..." Gilbert moaned quietly, his fingers curling in the sheets and his pants becoming tight on him. Oh shit..."Ah!" He back arched as Matthew's fingers fluttered over his crotch, his lips still moving against Gilbert's skin. The albino found himself beginning to pant as Matthew pulled away, looking down at him with those mischievous indigo eyes.

"Gil..." His voice was slightly breathy, and EXTREMELY sexy. Not to mention that his cheeks were flushed and his eyes feverish. fuckkkk... Gilbert wanted nothing more than to just pull him down again. Had he _ever_ wanted someone this badly? Ahn...

"Nyeah?" Gilbert looked up at him, his cheeks lightly dusted with blush.

"I..." Matthews eyes fluttered for a moment before he fell to the side of Gilbert.

Shit-

"Mattie? Hey, you okay?" He questioned, moving to place a hand on Matthew's shoulder.

Matthew nodded, curling against the Prussian and letting out a long breath. "Ahn..." he moaned. Gilbert blushed, remembering his erection. "Hot..." he breathed. Gilbert looked the other over. Right...He still had on his whole suit. Gilbert's fingers twitched with the thought of once again just tearing the layers off of the Canadian...But...he just swallowed it.

"M-Maybe you should shed one of your many many layers?" He suggested.

Matthew made a small moaning noise, and began to strip off his vest and tie. As his fingers left his tie, he looked at Gilbert, pulling the first few buttons from his shirt and smirling at the albino. It made his fucking head go crazy. How could Matthew be doing this to him? Suddenly the other grabbed the Prussian's own tie and pulled him down until he was on top of Matthew. Gilbert froze for a second, just staring down at Matthew, battling with himself in his head. He wanted him...he bit his lip, and sat up.

"Woah..." He smiled as Matthew's fingers laced back up around his tie. "Yes?"

The blond simply smirked and pulled him back down into a kiss. Slow and soft at first, but then Gilbert gave in and kissed him like he had wanted to for SO long now.

"Mmn...ah..." Matthew gave a tiny gasp and then closed his eyes, giving in to the kiss.

"Mmnnn..." He took a breath in. "Gil..." The fuck! He was NOT making holding back easy. Not with sounds like that...And the way he said his name...Gilbert leaned in and kissed him again, hard, as his fingers unbuttoning the rest of the blond's dress shirt.

"Mattie..." He breathed, the others eyes fluttered and then closed and as Gilbert leaned in to kiss him again he realized that the others breathing had become even, and he had stopped kissing him back... The Prussian moved away to look at the blond.

"Eh, Mattie?" He leaned down, poking his face and then smiling at the soft murmurs Matthew let out from the action. "Oh." He sighed lightly. "You're asleep." With a hmph, Gilbert popped himself down next to the Canadian, turning on his side to look at him. "Now what?"

As if on cue, Matthew cuddled closer and murmured nonsense into the albino's side. Gilbert laughed lightly, and brushed the curl out of the blonds face. Matthew made a little noise and squirmed.

_What is this?_

Gilbert brushed the curl again, expecting a similar reaction, instead Matthew growled a bit and grabbed hold of his arm, holding onto it like a pillow and letting a little contented sigh out.

Gilbert smiled. " Mattie, you awake?" He whispered. His response was a very soft purr-like snore coming from the other teen. The Prussian decided to sit there for a little while, let Matthew hold onto him, and to watch the Canadian sleep. It was nice seeing him like this...

_Fuck, what am i? Fucking Edward Cullen? Watching Matthew sleep...That's just weird..._

Slowly, not wanting to wake the sleeping Canadian, Gilbert pulled his arm away and stood up, looking around. He realized that he had never really looked at Matthew's room too much. It was calm and interesting. His eyes drifted towards the desk on the side of the room and he noticed a pile of note books. Gilbert walked over, curious and picked up the top one, flipping through it quickly.

"A diary?" He closed the book, drumming his fingers against it. "I wonder..." He glanced briefly at Matthew to make sure that he was still asleep, and then opened it, flipping to Page 5. The page was scribbled on with a deep red crayon, a scribble done with lots of pressure...Gilbert scrunched his brow a bit, and flipped a few more pages to 11.

He began to read:

_" my...new family is nice. but...i dont want to be around them. i dont want to be near anybody...people are horrible...people hurt people. what if they turn out to be like daddy? would they? i dont know...but daddy is gone. he...he killed himself. what if they kill themselves? what if thats how people are? i dont want them to die...i dont want anyone to die! i..."_

Gilbert quickly closed the diary, shaking a little- "I...didn't know..." He put down the diary, his fingers hovering a few centimeters above it as he turned to look at Mattie, "What happened to you?" He whispered. The albino didnt want to intrude on Matthews personal history...But that was just...he swallowd and picked the book back up, opening it to a little bit later of a date.

Page 17:

_"i should just die. it would be better if i did. no one seems to be able to see me anyways. so its not like dying would make a bit difference. who would miss me? today Francis touched my shoulder and...i thought the memories were going away. but i just...i cant get it out of my mind. i screamed, and pushed him away from me and...he smashed his head into the side of the table. it was horrible. Francis looked really hurt. i cant tell them though. i don't want them to know...they don't need to know...they wouldn't want me if they knew i was broken... i can hear them talking down stairs. mama and papa are fighting, saying my name. Francis needed to go to the hospital and get stitches. i...i'm sorry...it would be better if i was dead. yeah... then i wouldn't hurt anyone. father killed himself because of me. i know it. but i...he hurt me too. i cant even...why would he do something like that. he thought i was mother. he was going insane. he was too drunk. justify it as i might...father still...he...TOUCHED me. more than that. more than anything i would ever ever want. but if..if he had said that he was sorry that he didn't mean to...would i still be like this? unable to let anyone touch me at all. i want to stop it. i don't think i can...i...thats why it would be better if i just... died."_

Gilbert was shaking as he closed the book. "Fuck..." His voice cracked and he wiped at his damp eyes and whispered. "Mattie..." Did he still feel...Gilbert swallowed and looked down at the dairy.

"Just one more..." He opened the book to the last written on page. the most recent. From a few days ago actually... Gilbert took a breath in and look at it. "Gotta make sure he's not thinking this anymore." He began to read:

_I...I don't know what to do anymore...it seems like everything has just shifted. i haven't written in a while. my counselor would be mad at me. but there really wasn't anything to write about-well actually. that's a lie. we moved again. and I'm going to a new school. i actually have friends there. and...i met Alfred. he's my twin brother. a good guy...a hero. haha well close enough. he saved me...from Francis. after my adoptive dad died...francis...why did it have to happen again? why? Francis...he tried to...like my father...he..no-Alfred came and saved me. and then i met my real mother. apparently she took him with her when she left my father. and left me with my father. part of me hates her for it. but the other part of my knows that i shouldnt...i shouldnt hate her...but that doesnt stop me from being mad at her. but still...i was too mean to her... i...a few weeks ago everything came crashing down on me. i realized that i'd been living in some kind of fantasy land. and that everything was beginning to be okay. i wanted to die. just wanted to sink into a black hole and never come back...but then...then gil came over. gilbert...i...he...he spent the night and that day with me. and we've been spending as much time with eachother as possible. i'm glad that hes there. he...he is someone really special in my life. oh god...he...damnit...hes my best friend. right? just that? i dont know...even though no one is going to read this...its still embarrassing putting down thoughts like this...because of him...i am able to have people touch me. being around him makes everything bad go away. i dont have nightmares when he is there...its nice...and...he asked me to go to the winter dance with him. well-i kind of push/suggested it. he said he had someone that he wanted to ask...i wonder who it was. it made me a bit...i dont know...jealous i guess? i dont understand! gil is...i...ahhhg!"_

Gilbert couldnt help the smile which was spreading over his face, his eyes going soft as he looked towards the bed at his Matthew. His? No...erm... "Mattie..." He laughed lightly and turned around, walking over to the bed. With a smile still on his face he crawled in bed next to Matthew, pulling the blankets over them, and then wrapping his arms around the sleeping Canadian.

* * *

"Come little Alfred, I am going to seduce you" Ivan looked back with a certain glint in his eyes. The American could feel his own eyes widen in shock and his cheeks blaze with heat. Ivan chuckled deep in his throat. "Are you scared Alfred?" He smirked. "I promise I won't be..._that _rough with your body"

"What!" Alfred glowered at him. Was he making fun of him, joking maybe? The blond snorted at the Russian, trying to act cool. "No! No way am i scared...Psssh I'm an American we aren't afraid of anything remember." He smirked. "So I'm _definitely _not afraid of a commie bastard like you" He laughed at the Russian, trying to be as brave as he possibly could. But...damnit! He was so nervous that ivan would just rip him to peices and leave him with nothing to hold onto. All of his nerve endings would be shot and he would just be a pile of flesh and bones and scraps of whatever articles of clothing remained in tacked. Yup...Ivan was going to kill him. That commie bastard... The Russian would be holding on to Alfred's limp body, his mind would have yet to come back to its natural state. The American's heart pounded in hischest and he was sure Ivan could hear it.

"How many times do I have to tell you, Russia is no longer communist" Ivan sighed as he continued to drag a squirming Alfred down the deserted hall. A hall they weren't supposed to be down.

"Whatever" He snorted, trying to sound cocky like Ivan, but instead completely failing, the words falling out of his mouth in a rushed breath.

_Fuck! why am I so out of it right now?_

Ivan's fingers curled tighter on Alfreds wrists as he turned and smirked at the American, his violet eyes gleaming with mischief. The American couldnt help it. He was scared, fuck! He was really scared, Alfred didnt even know what to do in a situation like this, he still had is fucking V-card. Silently he prayed to God, Buda, fucking _Allah_! That Ivan wouldn't figure that out, that maybe he could use his super hero skills and trick him somehow. Yeah...Like that would work. The commie probably had some evil Communist powers that allowed him to see into Alfreds mind and _Ruin my life!_

If people found out that Alfred was still a freakin VERGIN at his age...He would be the laughing stock of the school! The guys in gym did NOT need to know that, fuck! It was something that Ivan could use against him. But If he was going to lose his-

Suddenly without even a blink of an eye, Ivan came to a complete stop. The American hadn't realized this until he found himself faceplanting into his shoulder blade.

"The _fuck _man-" Alfred growled, the material of Ivan's black cotton shirt rubbing against his face, it was sleek and had a toasty feeling to it, as if it was giving off its own heat, and was not the heat of person wearing it. Alfred began to pull away, but before he even realized what was happening he was shoved towards a wall. Ivan had slammed him with so much force that when the blond's back bumped up against the icy wall, his breath escaped his lips in a light moan of American gasped for airm his eyes slamming closed. Agh...

"My my Alfred making noises already and we haven't even gotten to the good part. You can make all the noises you want when we get started," He moved closer, pressing his lips against the American's neck and hen moving back. "Da?" His voice was as silky as cream, and Alfred knew that he was hovering above him because he could feel the Russian's heated breath on his face. The American's eyes fluttered open, his baby blues catching the glinting violet eyes which were boring into his. Ivan smirked, his face flashing with all of the things that the Russian wanted to _do _to him, and all that Alfred really wanted to do was spit in the nasty Russian's face. How dare he think that he could do this to him! But...He didn't want his last day on earth to be this one. Alfred glared at him as venomously as he could, though the look didn't even seem to faze him...Stupid _**Russian**_, he should be crying under my glare! But it actually seem to make Ivan all the more eager to touch Alfred. The large, pale Russian hands came up, a single hand enough to lock Alfred's wrists above his head, the other hand coming up under his shirt. Alfred shivered as Ivan kissed his lips, then moving to his neck, and up to his ear.

"I will make you mean my name." He assured, his voice silky and seductive. Alfred swallowed.

_I am NOT turned on by this. Nope._

"In your dreams," He growled, trying to pull away from the Russian. "You only _WISH _that I would say your name" He sneered._ Who the fuck does he think he is, the queen of Sheba? _ The American though, a smirk playing on his lips as he began to regain his confidence.

"And if i do dream about you, moaning my name," He kissed his again, teeth dragging along the skin of Alfred's neck, his hands beginning to trace patterns under the American's shirt. "If i dream about touching you, about making your body mine," He niped again at Alfreds skin, rujning his tongue gently along the surface of his skin, making the American let out a small moan. Ivan smirked. "And yet you deny that you will call out my name..." He bit down harder and Alfred gasped. "Little Alfred," He came up and kissed his lips, then pulled away a little bit, enough to look the American dead in the eyes. "I will make you scream it." He breathed, taking the Breath from the American's lips, and trailing his fingers to the end of Alfred's dress pants. The American gasped and Ivan laughed again, reminding him of a tiger taking the first bite out his pray. The blonds heart skipped a beat as violet eyes got darker...In a scary way. Any confidence that Alfred _did _have, any cockiness...Was drained from him, it was like a giant fly swatter coming down and squishing the fly that had landed on the kitchen table. He was drained of any hope of having the Russian not touch him while he was in this state, having any hope of going home safe...

In one big sweeping motion Ivan's nose was nuzzling itself in Alfred's neck and the American couldn't help but cringe. There was no way of him _possibly _escaping Ivan's wrath,

_One: because he has me pinned up against a wall one of my wrist he held in his massive hand above my head, and: _

_Two: He is so fucking strong that not even the Hulk, Thor and Captain America could take him down while all working together. AND THAT'S SAYING SOMETHING!_

Alfred, shuddered, biting his lip, as not to make any noise at all as the Russian trailed his kisses.

_What a great way to spend a night._

Alfred stood as still a stone, hoping that it would only make give up if Ivan wasn't getting a reaction out of him. He'd hoped that the Russian would give up sooner or later and his virginity would be spared... He really didn't want his first time to be with the Russian. Alfred despised Russian's and their communist ways. Ivan was no exception! Alfred couldn't believe that he had been starting to-

Ivan moved his lips about an inch from Alfred's skin , "If you pretend to play dead Alfred, it will only make things harder for you" he murmured onto his heated flesh. The American could feel goose-bumps start to form, only they began to form from the inside out taking any sense he had with them to the surface.

Alfred closed my eyes again and pretended like he couldn't hear the Russian. He still stood still because he didn't want his body relaxing anymore then it had to. He didn't want to give Ivan any satisfaction. All he wanted to do was tune Ivan out, but it was hard as he kept giving the skin on his neck little licks and bites. Alfred wanted to tell him to stop and that he hated him with every fiber of his being...That he was only using him... Only it didn't come out the way he had planned it to. "I-I" He gasped. "Iva-van… You…Need to sstoop" Ivan let one of Alfred hands slide loose from his grip, a chuckle resounding deep in his throat. Alfred took the chance to try to fight back. He placed his free hand on Ivan's chest and gave him a shove. It didn't faze the Russian at all. Alfred shoved him again, yet he still continued to make marks on the American's neck. What was Alfred;s mother going to think? Agh! _There has to be a way to get him to leave me alone_... The American growled in his head, his body was starting to react to Ivan's sensual kissing in ways that he didn't want it to.

No matter how hard he shoved at Ivan's chest with his free hand it only seemed to make him ignore the fact that he was trying to shove the Russian away from himself. Alfred's fingers then gripped at the front of his black shirt, and he could feel one of the small buttons in his palm. Alfred pulled at the shirt, but that only made Ivan kiss him harder, giving the Russian the incentive that Alfred wanted him to keep going which he _did not_. Ivan then began sucking the skin right at the base of my collar bone. The American could feel Ivan's hand that _wasn't _pinning his wrist to the wall travel down his shoulder and come to rest right on my chest. His fingers danced with the buttons of Alfred's shirt, sending unwanted shivers down his spine. Alfred was just about to try shoving the Russian again when a brilliant idea nestled its way into his brain. His eyes snapped open and he could see how Ivan's scarf was barely touching his cheek. A smile that Ivan couldn't see crept its way across Alfred's face. Letting his fingers unclench the material of Ivan's shirt that he had gripped so viciously he lay his hand flat on his chest.

Alfred could feel his sculpted muscles underneath his finger tips. Slowly Alfred traced his fingers up Ivan's chest and let them lay on his shoulder clenching it, as if to almost pull him closer. The American waited a few seconds to see if Ivan noticed that he stopped shoving at him. When he didn't show any kind of reaction, Alfred slithered his hand up by the collar of his shirt, his finger tips brushed the flesh by the beginning of his chest and base of his collar bone. Ivan was the type of guy to have at least the first couple of buttons undone on his shirts so that on lookers could get a tease of his body, or at least that was how it had been tonight...

Alfred's fingers became nimble and quick as they slunk their way up and up and up until he could feel it.

The material was soft like the downy feathers of a baby duckling as Alfred brushed his fingers across it. It felt as if it was alive giving off a heartbeat. Ivan, might as well have never in all the history of ever knowing him ever, _ever _taken the scarf off. It was as if it was a part of him, living, and breathing like the rest of his body. It kind of had a life of its own. Stopping, Alfred anticipated Ivan's next move, but when nothing drastic happened to him, he knew it was safe enough to move his hand up and under Ivan's scarf, to place his ten little fingers along his sacred neck that no one had ever laid their eyes upon. Alfred had heard a rumor once that Ivan didn't even take off his scarf to take a shower. But rumors are rumors one can't believe everything you hear from people.

Taking a deep breath as if to make him think he was enjoying myself Alfred counted to ten. Then before he could change his mind, the American moved his hand up and under Ivan's neck... His hand became submerged in a place of the delicate canvas called skin, and heated material called scarf. As Ivan touched the American's palm to his neck, he could feel the Russian's heart beat pulsate through his hand.

Ivan's neck felt polish and fluid, like not a single mark or scar rested there. Alfred absentmindedly began to caress the sleekness of his skin letting his heat soak through the fine rings on his fingertips. He had his eyes closed just pictured the granite like color of his neck so pure and white, white as the first snow fall of winter. It didn't occur to Alfred that Ivan had stopped what he was doing until he felt a sharp unpleasant pressure on his wrist which was protruding out from under his scarf. The American's eyes snapped opened and he quickly pulled his fingers away from him, and in his movement Alfred accidentally moved his scarf so that instead of having both ends behind his back one end was in dangling in the front of his shirt. It was longer on one side then the other. This couldn't be good. Alfred couldn't concentrate, his mind was fizzling because all he could see was a pair of dark violet eyes staring into the depths of his soul. At that moment he was _really _praying for his life. The American's hand was ripped out from underneath Ivan's scarf. And once again he found myself being dragged further down the hall.

Alfred didn't protest quite as much this time as Ivan dragged him around a corner and through a dark doorway.

Alfred was getting what he deserved.

He should have realized not to mess with a Russian boy and his scarf. They stopped again. This time they weren't in a hall way. They were in a large room; Alfred knew it was large because it felt like there was a slight breeze, and light was pouring in from the stained glass windows that encircled the room. It took his eyes a second to adjust as Ivan only stopped for a second then continued to drag the American along behind him to where ever it was they were going.

As they walked along in silence Alfred felt as if many different pairs of eyes where following them. He moved his head from looking at the deep dark colored rug to look at twelve different stone like paintings that hung in between the windows. They seemed familiar somehow... It wasn't until Ivan pulled Alfred over to a narrow bench that he realized the stonelike paintings on the wall were actually the sings of the cross. The story of how Jesus marches his own cross up to the hill with all of Jerusalem watching him.

…...

…...

…...

_Shit_...

They were in the sanctuary.

That was why Alfred felt like one hundred eyes were upon me, like he was committing some huge sin. Alfred got to glance behind himself and see the altar there in its majestic form. The deep reds of the altar cloth that hung down till they just kissed the rug shone like rubies. The huge oil painting of Jesus and his disciples at the last supper, they all seemed to glitter in the bath of the moon light that shown down through the windows. It seemed so odd looking up at the altar and painting with an odd empty feeling in his chest. The altar was usually lit with candles and the huge organ shone its gold glorious pain to the whole church as hymnals sang from its gigantic belly. Now it just looked haunted and disturbing. Ivan didn't seem to notice the sad beauty of it all.

"Ivan, I don't think we are supposed to be in here" Alfred whispered feeling as if it was more respectful then actually talking. Ivan only glared at him, not caring what came out of the American's mouth. Suddenly, the Russian placed both of his massive hands on Alfred's shoulders, pushing him down so that he was sitting on the hard wooden pew.

Wrapping his arms around Alfred's neck Ivan straddled him, pressing his chest to the Americans, their foreheads touched and Ivan didn't say anything. instead he just looked deeply into Alfred's eyes. the American stared back with the same intensity, because for the first time that night he didn't mind that he was with him. The blond figured it was being in the sanctuary that made him feel so clam and at peace with himself, and it was silent between the both of them for a second.

"Don't worry my little American, no one will _ever _come to look for us here" Ivan whispered huskily into his ear. Alfred swallowed hard.

Okay, fine, fuck peaceful...

He could care less if anyone _found _them, he just got the chills from the idea that right now him and Ivan were in front of the eyes of God... shitfuck. Like, come ON! He would be the witness to everything Ivan intended to do to my body. _Mom would kill me. _

"B-But we are in a sanctuary!" Alfred's voice cracked, and he looked up that the huge painting behind the marble altar.

"Da, that we are" Ivan didn't once take his eyes off of the American. The violet orbs ran over every inch of his body, making Alfred feel quite uncomfortable. The eyes then rested on his neck, it was like the Russian was planning it all in his head. His next move of attack.

"Ivan…" Alfred began to protest but was stopped by Ivan placing a pale, slender finger on his lips.

A dark smile spread across Ivan's mouth. His eyes seemed to be glowing a deeper darker purple then the usual violet. They seemed as purple as the night sky that was out and above the windows.

"Shhhh If were quiet, no one can hear us" With that he brought his lips quickly to the American's neck, his lips and tongue sucking and licking. Alfred's body and mind were starting to react in different ways just like he had a feared that they would. Only one would be the winner in this battle and Alfred was afraid defiantly wasn't going to be his brain.

_Ohh I hate Ivan right now hate hate hate hate hate, hateeee hateeee hate him….. _Alfred swallowed, his back arching slowly as Ivan his a sensitive spot on his neck. A small noise came out of his mouth.

_Ivan is a communist bastard_!

The American's brain was in turmoil. His thoughts didn't match up with what his body was trying to tell him was right. "mmmnahhh I-Ivan…"

_He is going to die! I hate hate hate himmmmm _

"Ah!" Ivans fingers teased the hem of Alfred's pants, his hand even going so far as to gently slide over over the fabric, over his crotch.

_Ohh if he wasn't so fucking strong I'd whip his ass! _

…_.ohhh why is he doing this? does he KNOW how much I despise him, and want him dead?_

One of Ivan's hands was now slowly trailing its way up and down down Alfred's chest. His hands were cool against the American's own burning skin, like snowflakes kissing at your cheeks.

"I..I…Ivan….Hhgnnnnn..." Alfred skrewed his eyes shut.

_Once I got out of here he was dead I would have his head on a silver platter agh! I hate Ivan I hate Ivan I hate Ivan I hate him I do I do hate hate hate hate hate….no no now his hand….it was getting closer to why am i FUKING HARD! grawr! die Ivan DIE! _

The Russian's hand begin to trail down Alfred's chest slowly, and Alfred snapped his eyes open. It seemed seconds, minutes, and hours all flew by, Alfred closed eyes, his lids whizzing at supernatural speed. It would only be a matter of time before his hands went down his-

Ivans fingers, which were once again playing with his pants, began to do something different. They managed to pop open his pants, the delicate, smooth fingers slid down his pants, into his underwear, grabbing his cock with a force, and beginning to massage it. Alfred bit his lip, but ouldnt stop the moan from escaping his lips.

"Ahnnn" His back arched as Ivan began to go up and down his shaft.

After all of this...

"Ah!"

Alfred planned to tell Ivan just how much he hated him, and wanted his despicable communist Russian body dead but for now just for a little sweat revenge, he was going to have some fun.

* * *

Alfred arched his back off the hard wooden pew, biting his lip seeing as it was the only thing I could do to stop myself from screaming out as Ivan trailed kisses down his chest. His breath was hot and stuck to Ivan's skin like dew on a spider's web. Alfred could feel it mix with his own sweat and just the idea of it made his already hard penis throb with anticipation. Ivan's mouth began to venture lower and lower until the American could feel his plump lips kiss the base of his throbbing cock. A spasm of pleasure ran up his spine. Alfred could feel drops of pre-cum squirting out of hims.

Fuck, Alfred's eyes widenened.

He _wanted _him...

Ivan chuckled against his skin. It seemed like hours ticked by as he waited, just waited. _Damnit! _What was he waiting for? All Alfred wanted was for him to take him into his mouth and blow him until the air ran out from his lungs. Slowly set his gaze directly at Alfred, a smirk coming over his slightly parted lips. The American's eyes widened in dismay and a thrilling feeling fell into the depths of his stomach.

"_время, чтобы немного развлечься бы вам не кажется?(time to have a little fun, don't you think?)_" Ivan's voice was like a piece of red velvet lace twirling its self all over Alfred's body, making his brain go into hyper-overdrive. When he spoke Russian to him it made Alfred's body tingle. His brain started to do that melty thing, as in he couldn't keep his own thoughts together long enough to comprehend what the hell he had said, because what ever it was that he had said was fucking sexy as hell...

Smiling a cocky ass smile Ivan took the American's throbbing cock into his mouth and slowly began to hum. His humming sending tingling resonance all the way down his shaft and up his spine. Alfred let a moaning gasp slip, as he I had NOT braced himself for Ivan's mouth.

His throat was tight and blazing with heat as it constricts around Alfred's temperate member. He began to jerk his head up and down so that he could take all of my length into his windpipe. All the while he was swirling his tongue around the base of the American's erection, blowing his short nerve endings to bits.

Ivan's hand that wasn't placed on Alfred's thigh was tenderly stroking his scrotum. His fingers where long and smooth, and he knew just where to poke and pinch. Alfred was becoming dizzy with the ecstasy of it all.

"Mmmnnaa...I-ahn...Ivaaaah Ivn..." The American panted. "I-I-ahn!" Alfred bit his lip, and Ivan pulled away to look at him, a dark glint in his deep violet eyes.

"Alfred," Ivan licked his lips, smiling in a way the blond would have thought to be scary but right now he was do damn horny to care how the Russian looked at him. Why was RUSSIAN fucking turning him on so much! agh!

Never breaking his eye contact Ivan leaned down and proceeded to kiss the top of Alfred's head, with a smirk on his lips he ran his tongue over his slit licking up drips of cum. He closed his eyes, It was all to much for the blond's brain to handle. Ivan now had him completely in his mouth again, deep throating him as he bobbed his head up and down, faster and faster until the pressure started to build up so much that it hurt. Alfred just... couldn't take it any more. He stopped suddenly and pulled back just so that his mouth was on the head of the American's cock. He began to suck on it, at one point he sucked on it so hard that his mouth had gone dry. But sucking on his head is what did just the trick, with a jolt of orgasmic pleasure Alfred began to shoot waves of his white sticky seed into his mouth. He swallowed it, while at the end he licked his pink lips with a grin.

Alfred let out a pant and opened his eyes to see Ivan sitting back on his hunches, he was watching him in that scary way he does like how a wild animal looks into the eyes of their pray right before they kill them. Only Alfred didn't care, he didn't have the slightest care in the world. He just had amazing god like oral sex preformed on his penis so why should he care about anything really.

"Давай немного Альфред пришло время для меня, чтобы быть внутри вас ( Come, little Alfred it's time for me to be inside you )" His voice was as creamy as silk as he slowly got off his hunches and slinked his way towards the American. Alfred shivered in realization that...This was it.

It was to late to go back.

He was going to loose his V-card and there was nothing he could do about it. His hands felt cold dancing their way up Alfred's stomach then to his chest in order to rest on his shoulders. His chest, though, was warm as he laid on top of the American. Alfred couldn't look away from his gaze, it seemed as if he was staring into the depths of his soul.

Alfred watches as Ivan placed his fingers in his fingers in his mouth, and then suddenly felt one finger slide through his entrance, he bit his lip, making small noises for what seemed like forever as it was followed by a second, and a third, and then finally he could feel it, Ivan's penis pushing right up against his entrance. The Americans member slightly poked the Russian in the stomach, as it was still rock solid. A thrilling sensation filled him as Ivan slowly began to kiss my neck. With out controlling himself he wrapped his arms around Ivan's neck, his fingertips trailing over Ivan's satiny skin. The American arched his neck so that he would have better access to his skin there.

Alfred stared up at the ceiling. It seemed like the mosaic tiles made pictures of angles. He wondered when they had gotten there. Maybe its just that he had never been in this position so

He never had the chance to really notice them. They were pretty and kept his mind on other things until Ivan lifted his mouth off of his skin and murmured_ "Готовы ли вы? Я буду так легко это привычка больно столько же. Я сделаю вас чувствовать себя действительно хорошо. Готовый для меня, чтобы быть внутри вас? (Are you ready? I'll be easy so it wont hurt as much. I'll make you feel really good. Ready for me to be inside you? )"_ His Russian was making the Blond's brain go all fuzzy. Alfred lifted his head up from resting on the hard wood of the pew and looked directly into Ivan's violet eyes. He was met with smoldering lips pressed against his. Alfred couldn't breath, gasping for air, he was met with a tongue that wrapped itself around his. The American used his own tongue to fight against it. But his tongue didn't win in the battle for dominance. Suddenly Ivan pulled away, pulling a condom out of a pocket in his coat.

"Wait-" Alfred growled. The Russian smirked at him.

"What, you didn't think that I would come prepared?" He smiled, and slid the condom on, then pulled out lube and began to put it on. He was done before Alfred even had a chance to say anything, back on top of the American with his forceful body and passionate lips. Then Alfred gasped again when he felt it, the slight pain of Ivan pushing his way inside of him. The pain started to become unbearable. He didn't know it was going to fucking hurt this much. If he knew it was going to hurt this much he would have never signed up for this. Alfred dragged his mouth away from his and let out a moaning gasp, the deeper Ivan entered into him, the more it hurt. " Ahn..." Alfred bit his lip hard, writering in pain underneath the large Russian. the American dug his fingers into Ivan's shoulder blades. Carefully Ivan stopped pushing and moved his face to look at at him.. He had a bit of worry in his eyes. "Is something wrong Alfred?"

Alfred could only look up at him for a split second before he clenched my eyes closed again. "Y-y...mnah...y-yes...th-th! there is ...s-some...'omething …..wrong!" He panted trying to get his fucking words straight. He could feel how the Russian was slowly starting to slide his penis out of him. Only he didn't want him to, because he was afraid that when he re-entered him it was only going to hurt again. "I-it j-just!" he sucked in a breath. "H-hurts a l-la! lot, that's all" He barely got the words out. Ivan leaned in and kissed Alfred's neck, reaching up with a hand to brush his bangs out of Alfred's sweaty face.

"Alfred," His violet eyes widened. "I-is this your-"

The American blushed madly, but the American cut him off before he could finish "Yes for God sakes its my first time Ivan" I spat out like word vomit.

The Russian chuckled under his breath which he probably thought Alfred, didn't catch but he did, his eyes snapped open and he glared at him. Alfred did NOT need Ivan laughing at him. No fucking way. Ivan then leaned down and kissed him, almost dulling the pain from him being inside of him for a brief second. Pulling away, Ivan murmuered "I wasn't going to ask you if it was your first time ever having sex, which I can see clearly now that it is, I was going to ask you if this was your first time ever having sex with a man and how you would compare it to having sex with a woman. But as seeing you've done neither so far I'm glad that I get to be your first"

What he said had the blond totally caught off guard, the ducking cocky communist bastard

"Ivan just shut up and fuck me before I change my mind" He growled at the Russian, shifting slightly to find a way to make the feeling of his dick up his ass more comfortable.

"My pleasure" he teased.

And with one good thrust, his dick was sheathed all the way inside the American and- DAMN did it send a wave of pain up his spine and throughout his entire body.

_God fucking damn it!_

He could feel his eyes starting to water. Why did his penis have to be so long and thick? 9 ½ inches of dick rammed up your ass isn't fun if its your first time having sex.

Ivan reached a hand up and wiped the tears from the corners of my eyes "Alfred just relax, the more you clench your muscles together like that the harder it is for me to thrust into you and the more its going to hurt" The Russian spoke quietly kissing both of his cheeks.

Alfred took a deep breath and tried to listen to what he was saying, then another, letting the air get to his brain, his heart rate was coming down and he didn't feel so tense. Ivan slid out of him as carefully as he could, only leaving the head of his penis in the beginning of the Americans passage. Suddenly, he thrust into him again and Alfred noticed that his muscles clenched and unclenched around Ivan's throbbing cock. But when his muscles weren't clenched, the feeling of his penis inside of him didn't feel that bad, it just felt...Different, something that he would have to get use to.

"Damn Alfred your so tight" Ivan panted into the skin on his collar bone.

"Sorry I'm such a virgin." Alfred seethed. The American then moved a bit just so that when Ivan thrust his penis in, it would enter at a different angle. the blond laced his arms around the Russian's neck instead of his shoulder blades, and rubbed at the back of his neck, twirling his fingers into his hair at the base of Ivan's neck. He felt Ivan shiver a bit and smirked.

"What was that for?" Alfred asked, trying to keep the smug smile off of his face.

"No one has ever touched my neck like that before because its always been covered by my scarf" he glanced at him, violet eyes glowing.

"Really~" Alfred mused, placing both of his hands on either side of Ivan's neck, his fingers right under the Russian's ears and then began poking and prodding at the neck muscles that lay right underneath the surface of his skin. Ivan shivered again, letting out a stifled moan. It came from way back and his throat, sexy, and Alfred began to laugh to himself. He had just found one of Ivan's weak spots, his neck.

Alfred heaved in a lung full of air as Ivan thrust so deep inside of him, that he didn't think the Russian could have gone any deeper. It didn't hurt as much as the first time they had done it, but it still a bit painful. But...It was a good pain... a _nice_ pain...Damn it all!

Why did it have to be like this? The American was actually _enjoying_ having the Communist inside of him. He was actually moaning out the others name, gasping with please and with pain...

Ivan began to go faster, and suddenly he hit something, something that made Alfred gasp and his whole body just feel...ehnnnnn...

"I-I-ah...n...na...Ivan..." Alfred moaned.

Ivan smiled, his eyes glinting as he looked at the American.

"I told you," He kissed him. "That you would like this, that you would-" His voice became husky and soft. "scream out my name." And the kisses fell again, before Alfred could say anything, deep and passionate, Ivan was burning Alfred with his cold fire inside and out.

And Alfred liked it.

* * *

goshgoshgosh So sorryyyy!/ I really hope that you liked this chapter though, it would mever have been able to happen without the aid of my friend "Alice Ink" who writes yaoi and practically wrote the alfred and ivan scenes here. she wrote most of that, i just edited it and yeah...thank her guys! Canada day tomorrow!/I'm excited~ I hope i get to see my Gil... Kay! well, dont be too mad at me. Tell me what you thought of this chapter! Review lots and lots! I will love you forever if you do! And i actually have time to respond to them now~ yay!

next chapter is funny and cute, look forward to it~

I love you all, goodnight and dont forget your reviews!


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